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New To OCD, Help!
I'm newly diagnosed with OCD. I had been treated for years for depression with Prozac, and my doctor recently picked up on my OCD tendencies.
I feel the need to confess every little thing I've ever done wrong. It's gotten so bad that I feel the need to confess things I've only thought of and not acted on. Some of these things include, being completely paranoid about getting an STD, worrying about having a sexual experience with an animal at the age of 12, and being completely worried that I'm gay because I get aroused by lesbian porn. I've also had the fantasy of having a threesome with 2 women and 1 man. I would NEVER act on this, I would never be able to follow through. I will add that I felt all this anxiety a couple years back and decided to see if I actually enjoyed talking dirty with a female in a chat room. I tried masturbating but couldn't really get into it. I don't remember if I orgasmed or not, but even if I did it's because the act is so forbidden, not because I want to be in a sexual relationship with a woman. Why do these thoughts not go away? I know that this is typical OCD, but it's so new to me that I'd like some reassurance....
Pleeeease help.
I feel the need to confess every little thing I've ever done wrong. It's gotten so bad that I feel the need to confess things I've only thought of and not acted on. Some of these things include, being completely paranoid about getting an STD, worrying about having a sexual experience with an animal at the age of 12, and being completely worried that I'm gay because I get aroused by lesbian porn. I've also had the fantasy of having a threesome with 2 women and 1 man. I would NEVER act on this, I would never be able to follow through. I will add that I felt all this anxiety a couple years back and decided to see if I actually enjoyed talking dirty with a female in a chat room. I tried masturbating but couldn't really get into it. I don't remember if I orgasmed or not, but even if I did it's because the act is so forbidden, not because I want to be in a sexual relationship with a woman. Why do these thoughts not go away? I know that this is typical OCD, but it's so new to me that I'd like some reassurance....
Pleeeease help.
Well, I suppose I've been doing a bit better. I keep telling myself "stop, this is the ocd" when I have the thoughts. I still kind of have this overwhelming sense of dread though, it's hard to shake..... I keep going back and trying to figure out why I did what I did when I was younger. Is it wrong of me to be turned on by the lesbian porn? I mean I've been curious enough to look at ads online for people who want a woman for a threesome, and to have cybersex with a woman...But afterwards it felt so wrong.... I think thats why I get off to it, I feel like it's wrong and taboo. Am I crazy? Or am I normal?? Please help... Today has been rough....
From what you are writing I don't. Like I said I think it is genetic and if you we're a lesbian I think you would have discovered that a long time ago. People usually figure that stuff out pretty early on in life...think elementary school
so then u honestly dont think im a lesbian? because i feel im not but i dont understand why i cant shake these intrusive thoughts.
If your a nut job then so am I LOL...glad you are feeling better! And your whole perspective on porn is spot on IMO.
thats exactly wwhat i think. i discovered porn at a young age, and have seen all kinds of it, watching people having sex is a turn on for me, doesnt matter if its a guy and a girl, two guys or two girls. its natural to be curious and wonder, doesnt mean im gay. and im not. i know realize im not. i definitely cant imagine my life without a man in it. and have never been sexually attracted to a woman in every day life, of course while watching porn im already turned on, and sometimes plain old guy/girl is boring. i totally get it now! i feel like a nut job for being so paranoid. thank u for all of your help.
If you we're truly gay , you wouldn't be fighting this thought like you are. You would just accept it. The fact that you have never been attracted to women means this has to be psychological in nature.
I mean I am not sure why im needing this reassurance, Im not gonna just wake up one morning and be a lesbian. Ive always been comfortable with my sexuality. Do you think its the ocd, or do you think I am gay and supressing it? I honestly have never considered or would ever consider being with a woman
ok i will have to try that. im starting to settle down and feel a bit better. but deep down im like oh my god what if? its freaking me out.
No problem....so when you are in that out of control feeling then do this. Take a deep breath in through your nose, hold it for 5 seconds and count this out in your head, then let it all out through your mouth. You can do this in any position (I do it in the car when I have a panic attack) and people will not even know you are doing it. Effectively it slows your heart rate down (you can be hyperventilating and not even know it) so that you can then think more rationally.
You said it all with "I stress about something until I find something else to stress about." This is OCD in a nutshell. I once heard the words hysterical blindness and then spent who knows how many days thinking I was going to suddently go blind while I was driving. I mean you can't make this stuff up it is so bizarre. So I completely see where a book would set your mind into overdrive. If you are on the correct medication and learning cognitive behavioral therapy (especially the breathing tecnique and if you don't know it, let me know) then I think you will be fine. I'm using myself as an example of somebody who on meds and using CBT does pretty well actually. Take care.
it was my family doctor that told me i had ocd tendencies. and after doing my research i agree. he has recommended i see a therapist, which i will be looking into. i was originally being treated for depression with prozac on and off for two years... i am now on buspirone. i mea i know i like men, and i know that having a sexual fantasy of having a threesome with anotyher woman is very common and perfectly normal. but why wont these thoughts disappear? i would not ever act on them. the only reason i even thought about it is because im reading a book with a character that everyone thinks is gay. this is how my brain works, i stress about something until i find something else to stress about, its ridiculous. is this how ocd works? any suggestions? i keep reading things online that say if im coming back to the conclusion that if im thinking about it im just repressing my feelings, which im not! i like men. always have always will, i know that these r just compulsive intrusive thoughts. before this i was stressed about getting hiv... any suggestions?
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