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Magical Thinking with OCD
Hi all, I've been explaining a lot about my situation recently and just wanted to explain my story surrounding thoughts and see if anyone else can share their own. Some of you will know I'm already due to see the psychiatrist so I know CBT could possibly help.
With my obsessions, I regularly have to 'purify' my mind if I am doing anything and these thoughts pop up. I'll start whatever I was doing over and over again because if I don't, I'll indirectly bring harm.
The thoughts are just generally unpleasant ones that my mind has created. If I don't get rid of them and start again then that process/activity is not pure.
I've always had some form of superstition, whether it be numbers or saluting magpies but recently it's got to a point where guilt comes into it. If I have thoughts about impure things I feel that I am thinking or doing things that will cause harm to myself and most importantly others. Recently I have found myself feeling that I need to protect everybody else and that my actions or decisions will result in something happening to them. Things freak me out where I feel tremendous guilt as to why I thought it and that it should never have crossed my mind. I won't go into detail but basically my mind convinces me that these thoughts will bring bad luck or place some kind of curse on me. Strange I know but because of my obsessiveness and paranoia I believe it.
I feel paranoid that there is something 'bad' out there that can influence our lives. Unless I purify my mind and pray, the anxiety is right up there.
My mind is very much right now the most imaginative it has ever been so this belief is probably 75/25 real to me.
I hope you don't think I am crazy but because of my beliefs in the supernatural I can't shake this off however far fetched it sounds. Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this?
With my obsessions, I regularly have to 'purify' my mind if I am doing anything and these thoughts pop up. I'll start whatever I was doing over and over again because if I don't, I'll indirectly bring harm.
The thoughts are just generally unpleasant ones that my mind has created. If I don't get rid of them and start again then that process/activity is not pure.
I've always had some form of superstition, whether it be numbers or saluting magpies but recently it's got to a point where guilt comes into it. If I have thoughts about impure things I feel that I am thinking or doing things that will cause harm to myself and most importantly others. Recently I have found myself feeling that I need to protect everybody else and that my actions or decisions will result in something happening to them. Things freak me out where I feel tremendous guilt as to why I thought it and that it should never have crossed my mind. I won't go into detail but basically my mind convinces me that these thoughts will bring bad luck or place some kind of curse on me. Strange I know but because of my obsessiveness and paranoia I believe it.
I feel paranoid that there is something 'bad' out there that can influence our lives. Unless I purify my mind and pray, the anxiety is right up there.
My mind is very much right now the most imaginative it has ever been so this belief is probably 75/25 real to me.
I hope you don't think I am crazy but because of my beliefs in the supernatural I can't shake this off however far fetched it sounds. Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this?
I'd like to start off my saying that I highly doubt that any of us on this forum would call you, or think you are, crazy. That is not what this forum is for. Please don't ever feel judged.
Although I cannot relate to your feelings 100% but I do understand the feelings of superstition and counting. I also can relate to your feelings surrounding the fear of causing harm to someone you love.
I think that guilt is associated with OCD similar to stress. I think stress causes it, and then guilt comes along with it. It is also a control issue. We are afraid and we feel that by controlling the situation we can control the outcome, and protect those we love. If you think about it, I guess all of our compulsions are ritualistic and could be considered superstitious, we do them to alleviate the stess, to try to make the anxiety dissapear. We feel if we do them, good things will happen. That we can protect ourselves and our loved ones. That is a symptom of OCD.
I can sort of relate as well to the impure process.... for example I have to wash my hands just right, and if I do not then I have to re-wash them. Or if I have a thought that "no these are not clean" I have to re-wash them. I think the repeating until it feels just so is also a classic symptom of OCD.
We all share similar symptoms are we all share OCD. We also share our stories and our experieces and our advice and that is a truly amazing thing in my mind. Who better to understand you then someone standing in the same shoes.
CBT will definately go a long way for you, I truly believe that. I have been able to reduce the amount of counting I do, it's a gradual process but once you realize that by not counting, everything will still be ok, no supernatural force of nature will come to hurt us because we missed a number. I still do not count and end any number with a 6, because I feel that is a bad number, so I am not by any means in the clear but I feel myself making progress and that feels good. It shows me that there is hope. I feel that you can definately benefit from this as well. I will say that looking into CBT is the best thing you could do for yourself and your OCD at this point.
Although I cannot relate to your feelings 100% but I do understand the feelings of superstition and counting. I also can relate to your feelings surrounding the fear of causing harm to someone you love.
I think that guilt is associated with OCD similar to stress. I think stress causes it, and then guilt comes along with it. It is also a control issue. We are afraid and we feel that by controlling the situation we can control the outcome, and protect those we love. If you think about it, I guess all of our compulsions are ritualistic and could be considered superstitious, we do them to alleviate the stess, to try to make the anxiety dissapear. We feel if we do them, good things will happen. That we can protect ourselves and our loved ones. That is a symptom of OCD.
I can sort of relate as well to the impure process.... for example I have to wash my hands just right, and if I do not then I have to re-wash them. Or if I have a thought that "no these are not clean" I have to re-wash them. I think the repeating until it feels just so is also a classic symptom of OCD.
We all share similar symptoms are we all share OCD. We also share our stories and our experieces and our advice and that is a truly amazing thing in my mind. Who better to understand you then someone standing in the same shoes.
CBT will definately go a long way for you, I truly believe that. I have been able to reduce the amount of counting I do, it's a gradual process but once you realize that by not counting, everything will still be ok, no supernatural force of nature will come to hurt us because we missed a number. I still do not count and end any number with a 6, because I feel that is a bad number, so I am not by any means in the clear but I feel myself making progress and that feels good. It shows me that there is hope. I feel that you can definately benefit from this as well. I will say that looking into CBT is the best thing you could do for yourself and your OCD at this point.
Hi, I have various symptoms that sound like classic OCD like worrying about turning off things, germs, etc and I also have these superstitous thoughts that I can't figure out if they are connected to past or current spiritual beliefs or if they're the OCD or both. If I want something then It is followed by a thought that sounds like "if I see or hear this person, thing, etc than I'm not allowed to have the thing I want" then that very thing , person, etc that I don't want to see manifested itself and my desire to have the thing I want is sabotagued by my thought, if I choose to have the thing then I experience guilt.also, I have noticed that if I'm in a bad mood and think a thing about a person, etc . then something bad seems to happen and I feel guilt and believe I caused it to happen . It seems to happen so automatically when I don't want it to happen. occasionly , It seems to happen in a positive way if I'm really carefull to make the thought lead to me manifesting what I want, but that seems harder to do. Does anyone understand what I am talking about what is Happening here?
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