Hi, I am a 20 year old girl and for the last four months I have been scared out of my mind. I recently was diagnosed with OCD but I'm doubting that diagnoses now, considering what I am going through. I have always been attracted to men. I had a questionable experience when I was younger (around seven) but, up until 4 months ago, I was attracted to men. Recently, in the last year, the obsessions that I had became much worse. They went from a fear of plagiarizing, to fear of having HIV, to a fear of any STDs, and finally, to a fear of hurting children. this fear was the worst because as it continued, I began to feel as if I was an actual criminal (though I have done nothing wrong). this fear transgressed to a fear of touching anyone inappropriately, including anyone I came in contact with. Then (this is where I'm terrified), I was sitting on my dorm bed, wondering why I had had such a strong compulsion to touch any girl I saw. My brain immediately stated "Because you're gay". Instead of getting freaked out, I felt happy for a moment before going "Wait? WHAT?" and suddenly feeling depressed. Interestingly enough, the day before, I had read about HOCD in an attempt to get rid of my now previous obsession and I thought, "well, I would rather obsess about being a lesbian than this". Even when I told myself that's what it was, I still felt like I was lying to myself and that I really am a lesbian, despite having had crushes on men and enjoyed sexual activities with men. I don't understand, that was FOUR MONTHS AGO and I just checked with lesbian porn and I got turned on, but when I checked with heterosexual porn, I didn't feel anything. I don't know what I am anymore. I went to a counselor and he said he didn't think I was gay but instead he thought it was OCD, but this feels different than my previous obsession. It doesn't feel like OCD. and the "false arousals" feel real. Sometimes I feel like I could have a relationship with a girl but when I think of getting married to a guy, I feel happy. PLEASE HELP ME