please reply to this

[pleasehelpme88]

wondering if i have OCD
I touch this one picture before i go to bed, turn my lucky snowball upside down, flick the light to the hall way on then off four times before i leave the house/ go to bed, and check all doors four times each even though i know they are locked.
hate touching thinks i consider 'special' with my left hand- has to be my right.
bad anxiety if i dont do this.. i think something bad is going to happen to my family.
its so tiring. been doing this for almost 4 years. thought it would get better when i moved house but same rituals still stand.
is it OCD? what can i do to make it go away or assist with the anxiety?
please reply
Thanks

[nikki0820]

even i have a same problem of OCD from the age of 11 till now... i am 24 years old..
this leads me to that end point that i think there is nothing then death which can stop me...... (but strange i am still alive)

i am scared of death and cancer....... i get reapeated thoughts like if dont touch a  pen till i am releived then i will loss some one who is a part of my life... or i feel then will cancer or some times that i will get cancer.. all these kind of unwanted, unreasonable, baseless thought..........

i know nothing is going to happen...... i know this are my fake thoughts........ but still these dominate and rule me from last 12-13 years......

i am craving for help.....

i was under treatment from the year of 13-15 then it was cure.. it recurred at the ge of 16...... took treatment for long 3 years.. but no use..... i myself being a science student who studied abt the structure of body.. brain.. nefrons and the nerve system.... but still helpless...

i am also a MBA graduate.. but useless to manage my self wat management will i do .....

can any one help me....... please please please...... i am tired of this life... this is my last effort to save myself...

[Nancy041162]

Hi, your comments were very interesting.  The same thing happened to me.  I remember as a young kid (maybe 8) I would touch a wall with my left hand and then I would HAVE to touch the same spot on the wall with my right hand or I would feel weird.  Or if I step on a crack or rock, I have to step on a crack or rock with the same part of the other foot.  Its like something bad would happen if I didn't.  When I got older I decide to try to ingnore the inpluse to do that and would just force myshelf not to do it.  It was hard at first but now I only think about a little bit.  I have come to realize that nothing is going to happen if I don't do it.  I know that if I didn't stop this "Habit" I would probably get worse.  I am now on effexor (for about 2 years) for anixity and a bit of depression.  I still worry too much and like things very clean but manage a good life.  I notice my son has a bit of the OCD also.  He said he had the same thing where he had to touch things with both hands but I talked to him about what it was and he is also trying to ignore it and living a good live (he is 18).

It's funny how we still think we are the only one with this "wierd" habit.  Nice toknow we are not alone.

Thanks

[blink1147]

just wanted to say wow, of all the things I've read on OCD I've never read about the 'special' hand thing, I thought this was unique to me. I use my left side, however, and I also can't look at 'bad' things on my left side.
      Doubting it will help since I'm late in leaving a comment, but it sounds like OCD to me. Don't know if this helps you, but when I had obsessive visions of my family being hurt in some way when I was trying to sleep, I just opened my eyes half-way when they would start, and I would eventually just fall asleep. Not a cure, just a temporary thing.
     This no longer helps me because I find it much harder to sleep, but if you sleep easily it should help. Sorry, it's all I've got :)

[jay110474]

Hi.  I understand everything you are going through.  I developed ocd when I was about ten or so and had this horrible disease overpower me until I was about 28. I had serious issues about accidentially touching things like brushing my shoulder against a wall or door.  I always had to go back and retrace my steps without accidentially touching again.  It is so hard to explain what I was going through.  

Also the swithing of light swithes and washing my feet all the time is all too familier to me.  I always thought that my family were going to die if I didn't do what I did.

Then One day I seriously had enough of everything, especially the fact that I was hiding this disease from everyone, and still have to this very day.  I was sooooo tired of my life that rather than doing something drastic in a negative way, I decided to ignore these feelings and before I knew it, my demons slowly went.  

There isn't a day that I don't think about what I went through, and even now there are days thats the demons try to come back, but I won't let it.  For example, I might brush my leg aginst the corner of the door or something like that, and immediately those thoughts come up, but I get strengh from within and ignore it.

I can't believe so many other people go through this. Back when I was going through it, I thought I was the only insane person in the world, but I am not.

I hope you work through this.  x

[pleasehelpme88]

thank you all :-)
yes i also suffer from an eating disorder.
do you think that could have something to do with it??
(check out my journal- it is more eating disorder related than OCD)
No i dont think it is my family, they are great. they dont know about this though
i think i just love them so much i wouldnt be able to cope without them and would think its my fault if something bad happened!! but dont know why i think that..
I know i dont have responsibility over peoples lifes- but if i didnt do these things and something did happen i would blame myself :-(
i am a control freak though and that is what also fuels my eating disorder...as i have recently discovered.
they do keep me safe i feel.. (rituals and compulsions)
I take diazepam but it doesnt help at all. any other medication suggestions??
And thanks to u 2 rottie... but i feel wrong and frustrated about these rituals because i cant leave the house without doing them.... like i would rather be late getting somewhere then leaving the house not doing them! and a also hate being late!!
i am one frustrated individual!!
hugs to all of you and thanks so much for advice and support.
xx

[susieq87]

I have had some of the same thoughts.  The thoughts and rituals about keeping family safe are the ones that I focused in on.  Is there a behavior in one of your family members that puts them at risk?  My thoughts, which I have overcame, came from feelings of guilt of feeling powerless over myself.  How is your self-esteem?  You are not responsible for your family.  You are responsible for your self.  The truth is, we just don't have the power over other people, no matter what we do.  Could there be a little co-dependency where have attached your lives?  If all this stems frm anxiety, you do need help with the anxiety part whether it be discussing this with a therapist or medication.  Something mild.  It does go away as we get better.

[Rottweiler]

Hi - I know I replied earlier but maybe my response was too academic and/or pertaining  to my own culture.  In any case, I also share the fear that something bad will happen if I don't touch certain objects or touch them with the wrong hand.  If it doesn't hurt anyone, including yourself, what is wrong with your personal rituals?  The responses to your posting have helped me as well.

Hugs .... Rottie

[jo929]

have you tried real hard to control these impulses certain impulses are ok as to touch things if it makes you feel safe but there has to be a reson you worry about your folks maybe this can be mind over natter thing have you just tried walking out the door and not doing this just once also toching certain things with one hand is not normal but can you not try to control this yourself and see what happens if nothing happens maybe you can take control of this and the thoughts if you cant do these things then by all means you must consult a dr i my self will check the stove 2 or 3 times also i may click the light on 1 or 2 times some things are just meant to be nothing to worry about but the thinking process you j\have to watch also the hand bit. you may nfell better seeing a dr but try to do a lot yourself    luck  jo

[pleasehelpme88]

Thank u susieq87
Yes i do find comfort in them, but its more that i think bad things will happen to the ones i love if i dont do them.
i tell myself all the time that its ok and i dont have to do it.. but then i think if something bad happened it would be my fault because i didnt do them! its  an argument that is constantly in my head.
pleasehelpme88

[susieq87]

Again, I am not a doctor.  Do you feel these rituals keep you safe?  Are they so ingrained that you can't change your thinking on them?  Do you have issues of abandonment about your family?  Sometimes we have to practice acceptance.  I don't think all rituals are bad.  Don't let them consume your thoughts.  Stop the thoughts as they come or play the tape all the way through when it comes to thoughts of your family.  Your thoughts can be changed.

[Rottweiler]

I am not a dr so this reply is not like the one above.  Also, I hope you do not think that I am trying to trivialize your problem.  You mentioned the word "rituals" in your posting and some of what you say, I can relate to.  I also have heard that baseball, hockey, basketball players have certain "rituals" they adhere to such as throwing a baseball against a wall a certain number of times or not shaving or changing their socks, thinking this will ensure they win.  I honestly do not know if these are rituals or examples of OCD.

I too have certain rituals or compulsions and my psychiatrist does not see this as a problem as long as it does not control my existance.  Some of these rituals/compulsions can be comforting.  Before going to bed, I always touch a picture of my dog who went to the spirit world a few years ago.  Touching his picture makes me feel his presence.  As a Métis, I also smudge whenever I am around people or situation that seem toxic.  Métis do not have a monopoly on this - maybe you can try it but please do not think I am trying to force anything on you.

Hope you are successful.

Rottie

[Abhijeet Deshmukh, MD]

Hello.

These are typical symptoms of OCD. You have what is called as "compulsive checking". Your obsessive thoughts are leading to the compulsive behaviors.

Since you are having significant distress due to the symptoms, this is a "disorder".

Have you consulted a Psychiatrist yet ? You need medicines to start with. The anxiety has to be reduced. The next step will be to control the compulsive behaviors. And the last one will be to try and minimize the obsessive thoughts.

There are certain Behavioral Techniques which can be employed. At the same time, you will also benefit from psychotherapy.

Keep a note of your symptoms. OCD is known to lead to Depression.

Regards