This is less of a question and more of a discussion, Ive had OCD for as long as I can remember, and from when I was a young kid I'd endulge in physical rituals like touching things a certain amount of time (2...then 4, all the way up to 16 and even 32 I think?) but then I broke all that stuff when I got a little older (start of high school) and I always had this mild fear that I was craszy cause I spoke to myself in my head a lot (Which I realised is totally normal). And I could deal with all this until about 8 months ago when I started gaining Pure O thoughts in my mind, it triggered one day when I couldn't stop thinking about my breathing it was driving me up the wall I rmemember. But the compulsive thoughts varied hugely, and intrusive sexual thoughts became very common with myself and I leant to deal with those as much I could (a little help from a councilor buddy).
So my actual QUESTION I wanted to raise apart from that background information is, does anyone else gain sexual pleasure from intrusive or "wrong" thoughts?
A big example for em is incestal thoughts, I would never want to do anything incestual or sexual with my family, but the idea whilst masturbating can become arousing. Does anyone else relate? Or the idea of sexual thoughts with the lower year in school, anything you would generally class as in-desirable or not sexually pleasing.
Its almost like the thoughts that seem most wrong feel most right?
I'd love to hear if anyone else is the same it would really help a guy out if you could reply. And Im interesting to why (Psychological) these thoughts might have such effects :)
Im also going through a "feeling slightly insane" period right now if anyone can relate when it comes to OCD
Thanks guys,
James