Aa
addicted to picking
Ever since I was young (around ten years old) I use to sit infront of a magnified mirror and pick my pimples, blackheads, hairs or just plain anything I could out of my face. I became borderline obsessed with this, not being able to wait till the next day to get back in the mirror. I am now 30 years old and still have the same compulsive disorder but now I've moved on to people in my family. Mainly anyone that will let me "pick" them. I feel so much satisfaction from a pimple the blows up or a blackhead that I can successfully pull out of each pore. In each "session" I bring with me tweezers, a pin and a lamp so I can see even better. I turn into a totally different, even aggressive person if they move, or make me wait because I am hurting them. Even when I hurt myself I can't stop. What's wrong with me?
Hello All....
I have had this problem... since early childhood.. I wish it were the only one. I have consulted with countless therapists, psychiatrists as well as done a lot of research. Here's the bad news: this is a totally mystifying disorder to the professionals. There is currently no particular treatment for it. It is called dermatillomania and there are several websites devoted just to pickers. This is mostly about face picking and scabs. Trichotillomania refers specifically to the need to pick hairs only. There are components of both related to OCD and anxiety disorders...
NOW... the GOOD NEWS... you can stop... BUT you're going to have to do it by committing to making some behavioral changes... until the Psych community comes up with some epiphany... you are going to have to FORCE yourself to be your own guardian on this.
There are many people dealing with this... and it's unfortunate it is so baffling...
If you do not gain control of scab picking... you could wind up with some physical issues you have not bargained for. Besides the scarring... the risk of infection... is GREAT... I have been forced to go to an ER 3 times for staph (very nasty) with this. Additionally... the constant disruption to your cells that occur by picking can cause a skin cancer to develop and yes... much to my surprise.. it can spread. I did such a tremendous amount of damage to my scalp... (sure it was slow over a long period of time... very on the downlow)... that I have just endured 3 major surgeries in the past 10 months for infiltrative skin cancer. Two surgeries just to remove the cancer... which had infiltrated my skull causing some of that to be removed... and then a major reconstruction procedure to try and fill in the damage to my scalp.
My head is permanently disfigured... and the outside of my thigh permanently scarred due to the skin removed (from top of thigh to knee) in order to do a skin graft to the portion of my head where the scalp was removed.
There may be more surgeries to come... and I will never look like the "other kids" again... and I wasn't too bad to look at ;)
I tell all of you this... yes to scare you... but mostly to make you aware of the possible consequences to any activity that you lose the ability to control. You have to rely on yourself to be your own enforcer here. You can stop. You must stop. It will not be easy... but... my story might be the alternative... and what I have endured in the past 16 months both psychologically an physically from this is.... really more than anyone should have to deal with.
a) if you have a mirror that is not attached to a wall.... PUT IT AWAY
b) commit to only using WALL MIRRORS for a quick wardrobe check, etc. and walk away.
c) find something you can do with your hands as a "go to" when you feel the urge. Whether it be solitaire, knitting, making model toys... rubbing a stone... it doesn't matter... just something you can have with you for immediate distraction.
d) if you are fighting mentally with your self an feel like you are going to "slip" back into the behavior... remind yourself how dangerous this activity can be. Yes... SCARE yourself. Then when you have dodged the urge.. remind yourself that you are proud of staying committed to these behavioral changes and staying as healthy as possible.
I wish all of you who struggle with a powerful foe... much strength... much support.. and hopefully... some reality. GOOD LUCK. And by the way... yes I still struggle with the urges... and sometimes I sit on my hands... but then I look in the mirror.. and feel the shame of what I have done... and I wished I had had more knowledge years ago as to the seriousness of what going with my impulses could lead to... now you have the info. PLEASE let my story be your cautionary tale to new behavior...
I have had this problem... since early childhood.. I wish it were the only one. I have consulted with countless therapists, psychiatrists as well as done a lot of research. Here's the bad news: this is a totally mystifying disorder to the professionals. There is currently no particular treatment for it. It is called dermatillomania and there are several websites devoted just to pickers. This is mostly about face picking and scabs. Trichotillomania refers specifically to the need to pick hairs only. There are components of both related to OCD and anxiety disorders...
NOW... the GOOD NEWS... you can stop... BUT you're going to have to do it by committing to making some behavioral changes... until the Psych community comes up with some epiphany... you are going to have to FORCE yourself to be your own guardian on this.
There are many people dealing with this... and it's unfortunate it is so baffling...
If you do not gain control of scab picking... you could wind up with some physical issues you have not bargained for. Besides the scarring... the risk of infection... is GREAT... I have been forced to go to an ER 3 times for staph (very nasty) with this. Additionally... the constant disruption to your cells that occur by picking can cause a skin cancer to develop and yes... much to my surprise.. it can spread. I did such a tremendous amount of damage to my scalp... (sure it was slow over a long period of time... very on the downlow)... that I have just endured 3 major surgeries in the past 10 months for infiltrative skin cancer. Two surgeries just to remove the cancer... which had infiltrated my skull causing some of that to be removed... and then a major reconstruction procedure to try and fill in the damage to my scalp.
My head is permanently disfigured... and the outside of my thigh permanently scarred due to the skin removed (from top of thigh to knee) in order to do a skin graft to the portion of my head where the scalp was removed.
There may be more surgeries to come... and I will never look like the "other kids" again... and I wasn't too bad to look at ;)
I tell all of you this... yes to scare you... but mostly to make you aware of the possible consequences to any activity that you lose the ability to control. You have to rely on yourself to be your own enforcer here. You can stop. You must stop. It will not be easy... but... my story might be the alternative... and what I have endured in the past 16 months both psychologically an physically from this is.... really more than anyone should have to deal with.
a) if you have a mirror that is not attached to a wall.... PUT IT AWAY
b) commit to only using WALL MIRRORS for a quick wardrobe check, etc. and walk away.
c) find something you can do with your hands as a "go to" when you feel the urge. Whether it be solitaire, knitting, making model toys... rubbing a stone... it doesn't matter... just something you can have with you for immediate distraction.
d) if you are fighting mentally with your self an feel like you are going to "slip" back into the behavior... remind yourself how dangerous this activity can be. Yes... SCARE yourself. Then when you have dodged the urge.. remind yourself that you are proud of staying committed to these behavioral changes and staying as healthy as possible.
I wish all of you who struggle with a powerful foe... much strength... much support.. and hopefully... some reality. GOOD LUCK. And by the way... yes I still struggle with the urges... and sometimes I sit on my hands... but then I look in the mirror.. and feel the shame of what I have done... and I wished I had had more knowledge years ago as to the seriousness of what going with my impulses could lead to... now you have the info. PLEASE let my story be your cautionary tale to new behavior...
Im like that too. my arms and legs. it ***** really bad tho cuz sometimes i get the pimples or bumps in a row on my arms and when i get done day after day they scar and look just like tracks. it ***** cause i dont do any drugs especially illegal. only drugs I take are prescribed from a true doc. I wish there was a way for all with the picking and popping issues to figure out a way or ways to stop the impulse to pick or pop. For me sometimes I keep going until I actually get something to come out or pop in the area Im working on. Just wish scars were easy to get rid of. It ***** when pl think something of you thats not true. I guess it doesnt matter as long as you know the truth urself and that ud never do wrong especially on purpose. Good luck to all fellow picker and poppers!
If you try a worry stone, it might work.
If you get one and put it on a necklace. It helps with nervous energy.
If you get one and put it on a necklace. It helps with nervous energy.
I pick. A lot.
I remember being young in the car with my mom, and watching her absent mindedly pick at the skin on the side of her thumb. My next memories are with picking my nose and biting my fingernails, as well as my cuticles. I stopped biting my nails and the nose picking as I aged (I'm 21 now), but I still ruin my thumbs by picking. Weirdly, my thumbs are where the most damage is (scabbed, open cuts, etc).
I also pick a lot at my legs and even my breasts. Anywhere hair grows, whether fine or coarse (the coarse is which I have been sadly blessed with - leads to a lot of ingrowns, and more picking...) I am capable of picking it, and have picked it. I'm picking my thumb right now, even. My lips don't escape me either. Anytime I feel an edge, I immediately go for it. While I read I pick especially (my hands needing to be occupied). The cherry on top is that I get cold sores, and one of the fastest ways for one to come out is to cause physical damage to the lip. I get way too many cold sores because of this. Makes it tough when I'm anxious to visit my husband (long distance) and I know I've been picking and I'm horrified I'll trigger a cold sore when I go to see him. It's happened, and not being able to kiss when you first see each other is one of the worst pains associated with this problem. Not to mention any pimples that come up on my butt. Nothing sexier than a scabby ***.
I sit in my room or on the toilet and just inspect my legs. I totally focus on them. An intense, wide-eyed, white knuckle focus. It freaks me out when I eventually have to FORCE myself out of it. I think "What the hell was that? How did that even happen?". Although I don't get massive sores or infections, I'm still very self-conscious about how it makes my legs look. I've slowly gotten better over time (as I used to be much worse) but only because I got into a serious relationship, and am now married. Unfortunately for him, he has very "treasure" filled, wide pores on his face, and gets the odd pimple on there or his shoulders. When I wake up beside him in the morning, we start chatting and all I can look at are the blackheads in his face, or the subtle white "clouds" under his skin. I nickname the different types of popable things. That's how bad it is with him. It drives him insane when I try to pick him. I get frustrated, and just want him to let me do it. It's rewarding to think that I'm emptying or cleaning his face. Seeing things poop, ooze, or come out in any way gives me a rush. It's my understanding that this is an OCD condition associated with my body becoming addicted to the endorphin rush.
I feel excited, my heart races, and I feel rewarded after popping, whether on myself or on my husband. I feel like a piece of ****, honestly. I hurt him, and I act like he's just being whiny and tell him "I do this everyday, and it doesn't hurt me" - but I know that's B.S. It does hurt me when I pop and pick, but I can ignore it because the rush overtakes it. Plus, I don't think he wants to be reminded that his face attracts me because I like to pop things on it, and that he has so much to pop in the first place. He's a very good looking guy, and after I'm done with him he's blotchy with tender skin, and I feel awful. We fought about it one night, and since I've really reined myself in with him. I can will myself into leaving his face alone (for the most part :\) and I'll ask him if he wants my "assistance" if he gets something he can't reach on his back.
As for myself, when I start picking or feeling the urge to do it, I put pants on. For me it happens the most after a shower, on the toilet, in shorts - anytime I can see my legs. So I just cover them, and stop touching them. It's a tough process to untrain the mind... really tough, but I know that I can conquer it slowly.
This is the first place I've really confessed to having a problem. I work every day at overcoming myself. It's slow going, but I'm seeing changes. I hope the best for everyone else here who has posted their stories and problems. If you have problems at picking at your face for pimples, black heads etc, test out some new facial cleansers (for Canadians - Spectro Jel is amazing) and see what makes the best improvement. Clean & Clear makes a medicated facial moisturizer that I absolutely love with 0.5% Salicylic acid - I also use it on my shoulders, chest and behind after showering (and exfoliating those 3 areas with Clean & Clear's "Continuous Control Acne Cleanser - 5% benzoyl peroxide). Those two skin products when used in a good showering/exfoliating regime have made huge improvements for my skin thus giving me less to pick.
I remember being young in the car with my mom, and watching her absent mindedly pick at the skin on the side of her thumb. My next memories are with picking my nose and biting my fingernails, as well as my cuticles. I stopped biting my nails and the nose picking as I aged (I'm 21 now), but I still ruin my thumbs by picking. Weirdly, my thumbs are where the most damage is (scabbed, open cuts, etc).
I also pick a lot at my legs and even my breasts. Anywhere hair grows, whether fine or coarse (the coarse is which I have been sadly blessed with - leads to a lot of ingrowns, and more picking...) I am capable of picking it, and have picked it. I'm picking my thumb right now, even. My lips don't escape me either. Anytime I feel an edge, I immediately go for it. While I read I pick especially (my hands needing to be occupied). The cherry on top is that I get cold sores, and one of the fastest ways for one to come out is to cause physical damage to the lip. I get way too many cold sores because of this. Makes it tough when I'm anxious to visit my husband (long distance) and I know I've been picking and I'm horrified I'll trigger a cold sore when I go to see him. It's happened, and not being able to kiss when you first see each other is one of the worst pains associated with this problem. Not to mention any pimples that come up on my butt. Nothing sexier than a scabby ***.
I sit in my room or on the toilet and just inspect my legs. I totally focus on them. An intense, wide-eyed, white knuckle focus. It freaks me out when I eventually have to FORCE myself out of it. I think "What the hell was that? How did that even happen?". Although I don't get massive sores or infections, I'm still very self-conscious about how it makes my legs look. I've slowly gotten better over time (as I used to be much worse) but only because I got into a serious relationship, and am now married. Unfortunately for him, he has very "treasure" filled, wide pores on his face, and gets the odd pimple on there or his shoulders. When I wake up beside him in the morning, we start chatting and all I can look at are the blackheads in his face, or the subtle white "clouds" under his skin. I nickname the different types of popable things. That's how bad it is with him. It drives him insane when I try to pick him. I get frustrated, and just want him to let me do it. It's rewarding to think that I'm emptying or cleaning his face. Seeing things poop, ooze, or come out in any way gives me a rush. It's my understanding that this is an OCD condition associated with my body becoming addicted to the endorphin rush.
I feel excited, my heart races, and I feel rewarded after popping, whether on myself or on my husband. I feel like a piece of ****, honestly. I hurt him, and I act like he's just being whiny and tell him "I do this everyday, and it doesn't hurt me" - but I know that's B.S. It does hurt me when I pop and pick, but I can ignore it because the rush overtakes it. Plus, I don't think he wants to be reminded that his face attracts me because I like to pop things on it, and that he has so much to pop in the first place. He's a very good looking guy, and after I'm done with him he's blotchy with tender skin, and I feel awful. We fought about it one night, and since I've really reined myself in with him. I can will myself into leaving his face alone (for the most part :\) and I'll ask him if he wants my "assistance" if he gets something he can't reach on his back.
As for myself, when I start picking or feeling the urge to do it, I put pants on. For me it happens the most after a shower, on the toilet, in shorts - anytime I can see my legs. So I just cover them, and stop touching them. It's a tough process to untrain the mind... really tough, but I know that I can conquer it slowly.
This is the first place I've really confessed to having a problem. I work every day at overcoming myself. It's slow going, but I'm seeing changes. I hope the best for everyone else here who has posted their stories and problems. If you have problems at picking at your face for pimples, black heads etc, test out some new facial cleansers (for Canadians - Spectro Jel is amazing) and see what makes the best improvement. Clean & Clear makes a medicated facial moisturizer that I absolutely love with 0.5% Salicylic acid - I also use it on my shoulders, chest and behind after showering (and exfoliating those 3 areas with Clean & Clear's "Continuous Control Acne Cleanser - 5% benzoyl peroxide). Those two skin products when used in a good showering/exfoliating regime have made huge improvements for my skin thus giving me less to pick.
Hi,
I'm 24 years old and only strated picking at 17, before then people used to tell me i had perfect skin. I'm not sure what changed but by now, I pick so much that some days i don't even want to leave the house b/c i know make-up won't cover the scars. I've tried going to dermatologists for years, to no avail.
Has anyone had any success in stopping picking?
Any tips for the rest of us?
I'm 24 years old and only strated picking at 17, before then people used to tell me i had perfect skin. I'm not sure what changed but by now, I pick so much that some days i don't even want to leave the house b/c i know make-up won't cover the scars. I've tried going to dermatologists for years, to no avail.
Has anyone had any success in stopping picking?
Any tips for the rest of us?
I too have suffered from this picking problem for most of my life. Starting at about 10 (after my parents divorced). It has caused me tremendous embarrasement over the years - from the awful scarring on my face to the reactions of my friends and family to my picking habit. I once got back together with a boyfriend for one reason... he had a recurring absess on his neck that he let me pick whenever I wanted. The amount of pus that came out gave me total satisfaction. So, this went on for my whole life.
A few years ago I was diagnosed with adult ADD. I see a physciatrist every few months and I take a drug called Straterra. After reading these responses, I've realized that I have slowly reduced my picking to only occassionaly - rather then daily. I'm to the point now that picking my husband actually grosses me out a little - unheard of before! I too am guilty of picking baby acne and bribing my teenager to pop her zits.
Maybe the answer to my problem is the Straterra. Not sure but I thought this might help someone else.
A few years ago I was diagnosed with adult ADD. I see a physciatrist every few months and I take a drug called Straterra. After reading these responses, I've realized that I have slowly reduced my picking to only occassionaly - rather then daily. I'm to the point now that picking my husband actually grosses me out a little - unheard of before! I too am guilty of picking baby acne and bribing my teenager to pop her zits.
Maybe the answer to my problem is the Straterra. Not sure but I thought this might help someone else.
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