Just anxiety or a valid risk? Please help!

[healthanxietygirl]

The other day, we went to an amusement park and the sun was very bright and we had no sunscreen, so I sent my husband to the store to get a sunhat for my 5 month old and some sunscreen for the other kids. He came back with an adult-sized sun hat on the baby. When I looked closely at the hat, it appeared to have a dry blood spot on it. I said to him "ew, gross" but he said he saturated the spot in rubbing alcohol (isopropyl) beforehand, and then made sure it didn't touch her (the way he arranged it on her head). It was on the brim. We argued a little bit because he said he was sure it was makeup or lipstick and I was like "no it's not, it's blood" I was very irritated that he was sticking his head in the clouds by saying it must be makeup.

Fast forward to today I ask him to give the baby a toy while he was outside in the yard with her in the carriage, and I saw that he had given her the same stupid hat! I got really mad at him about "so would you stick your hand in a biohazard box and just throw some alcohol on it and give it to your baby to suck on?!?" He was like, "yeah you're right" and he took it away. He said he gave her the clean side of the hat in the first place, and that it was probably just makeup anyway. He said the spot didn't get put in her mouth today either, it was just the other side she was sucking on. But she was sucking on it.

After about 10 minutes of flipping out and crying, I called the pediatrician and told her what happened, and she told me it's highly doubtful that even if she did suck on the blood spot (which we don't even know if it's really blood, she said), that anything would happen. I felt a little bit better but only very slightly.

I keep seeing things about HIV and Hepatitis B and C. I read that dried blood can contain active Hep B for a long time - like a couple of weeks... and that if it gets onto a mucous membrane, it can infect the person. I also read that it can be such a small amount of dried blood that you can't even see it! Apparently it dies after 2 minutes in isopropyl alcohol - and my husband did soak the hat, but what about possible invisible/tiny blood spots elsewhere on the hat...where he didn't even wash?! And of course, she was sucking on the other side of the hat! Then of course, after washing the blood spot with his hands, he simply put some more rubbing alcohol (surely not 2 minutes worth though..) on his hands to wash them up before picking up the baby - so couldn't he have gotten more hepatitis germs on her while holding her? Where does it end... I'm so overwhelmed :( How on earth could there be nothing to worry about, if all these things are true about it living so long on a surface. I want to be on my merry way after talking to the pediatrician but I can't get out of the gutter :(

My other daughter had a vaccine reaction so we haven't yet vaccinated this baby, we planned on holding off and I never thought I'd be worrying about Hep B anyways, but here I am. I thought about immune globulin and/or getting her the vaccine because apparently it can help prevent the disease even shortly after exposure. I could go and have her vaccinated for Hep B tomorrow - when I thought of that I felt better... that is for a few minutes until I started freaking about HIV... which there's nothing I can do about.

Please help :( :( :(

[healthanxietygirl]

Thanks so much, your replies mean a lot :)
I have 3 other kids besides the baby, and it's weird because I become like a million times more germophobic when I have a little baby. My other kids go around and play and do all sorts of things, but for some reason I must think that the baby is so fragile or something. Every time I have a baby, I spend the entire babyhood worried about stupid things.
Today I'm all upset because her diapers seem to be looser and I'm afraid there's weight loss, and maybe that means something bad :( But I seem to always be worried about something or other with my baby. This same thing happened with one of my other kids when she was a baby too.
The uncertainty is horrible ...I try to make it so there's like a 0% chance that anything could happen...or at least so I could say that I'm doing everything I can to make sure she'll be ok. It seems reckless to just, say, go to a doctor's office with sick people and not bring hand sanitizer. Is it reckless? Doesn't it seem like I'm putting her at risk? I know it seems like stupid questions but I guess I really don't know what's normal and what others think of that.
I'd love to up my dose, and I am actually really thinking about going to the doctor to do it, but I'd rather suffer than stop breastfeeding.. my OB told me that PPD patients need more medication than non-postpartum, for some reason.

[meemoll]

Have you considered upping your dose of Zoloft?  I am on 150 mg and it seems to help.  You may have to consider bottle feeding your baby, I would check with your doctor.  I too have 2 young children and I understand what you are going through.  It is very difficult to have OCD and young kids who touch everything, put stuff in their mouths, etc.  I have had numerous OCD episodes over them.  They are now 6 and 3 and I have gradually, although not completely, learned to sit with the uncertainty and anxiety that their or my actions cause when it comes to contamination.  It is extremely hard to do, but in order to get better, we must do it.  I will help in any way I can.

[skleep]

Sounds like classic OCD and nothing else.  First of all, it's unlikely that there would be dried blood on the hat to begin with.  But second of all, if these diseases were that easy to catch everyone would have it.  I recently got over a hgue fear of hep c (was scared to death just 2 days ago) but I realized if it was so easy to get from casual contact, the entire world would be infected...and yet it's only 1% of the population, and most of those people are IV drug users!

I do think your husband should be more sympathetic to your issues though.  My boyfriend and I go through this sometimes too but he tries his hardest and is getting better at dealing with it.  It's one reason I'm a little afraid to have kids.

[healthanxietygirl]

Oops! I must have hit the button accidentally.

I was going to say, "but" ... I feel that if I expose myself to the fears i.e. letting everyone including myself touch the baby without washing our hands first, then it's going to put her at risk, and make her get more colds and viruses. That just doesn't seem fair and I can't bring myself to do it. So I don't really know what to do but just keep on plugging.

[healthanxietygirl]

Yeah, I really do worry about this kind of thing. I wasn't kidding when I called myself health anxiety girl. I hate it... I do overly depend on the hand sanitizer, and I'm so afraid about something happening to the baby. I have been told by my pediatrician twice now that there's nothing to worry about, and I'm trying to put it out of my head, but sometimes I'm playing with the baby and my mind just goes to a terrifying place :/
It's been one thing after another for me, worry-wise, since having the baby. I'm so worried about everything when it comes to her and I don't like when strangers touch her, and even people I know, if they don't wash up their hands first. I take medication (zoloft 50 mg) but it just seems to take it down a notch, not really enough for me to relax and enjoy things. I'm breastfeeding so I'm too afraid to increase the dose. I have read about exposing yourself to the fears and it will reduce the anxiety, but

[JGF25]

Hi there....yes, we mothers freak out about everything where are kids are concerned.  The HIV is nothing to worry about...it dies the second it hits air so it could not possibly be a hazard to your daughter as far as that goes even if the spot were blood which is highly unlikely.  Second, look at the scenario of the hat.  Your husband bought it, it had a red spot which you don't even know what it is, you have no idea how long the hat had been sitting around before your husband bought it, etc, etc.  The chances are just really not there for your daughter to be infected with anything.  

Can I ask...do you worry about stuff like this often?  Are you always on alert for blood or anything that looks like blood?  Do you overly wash your kids hands, use antiseptic wipes, etc.?