need help

[tara1414]

I have a history of OCD. Recently I seperated from my husband and am struggling with issues between him and my daughter. I think I worry about health issues to avoid dealing with my life. Anyway about two months ago I noticed a small white pimple like growth on the top center of my tongue. I went away then came back/ I kept checking it and obsessing about it. then I went for my cleaning and I told the dentist about it. He could not see it. because it had gone down by then,. But he said that citris foods or even stress can cause them. I was worried because it wasnt on the tip of my tongue but on the top, center. And it didnt really hurt. Then I started obsessing over a small mark on my breast, thinking maybe I have breast cancer. I made an appt with Dr, but cant get in until about two weeks from now. Then I worried about some other marks and a rash under my breast. I seemed to be feeling better, then yesterday the tongue growth came back again. And I felt like I wanted to just die. I am so tired of worrying. I am afraid to go to any dr's. But I'm afraid not to go either. I read stuff on the internet. some positives were that cancer almost never grows on the top of tongue, and that it doesnt go away and come back. The negitive things I read was that I man had a small white growth that spread and became cancer and he had to have half his tongue removed. I m letting these fears consume my life and I am writing on here hoping to get some comfort. Has anyone ever had a pimple on the top of tongue that gets smaller and then pops up again. I am not even sure if it ever really goes away. Even when I cant feel it. I think i still see a whiteness on my tongue. I did get a regular cancer screening and it was negative , but dont understand the difference between an oral cancer screening and a biopsy of the oral growth. I keep praying because my counselor told me too. I see a christian counselor,.I take lexapro but nothing seems to be helping much. I keep checking my tongue, then my breast. If I am not obsessing over one thing I am obsessing over another. Please write back something calming and if you ever had a growth like the one I described please calm my nerves, dont scare me...lol

thanks for reading.

[tara1414]

Thanks for responding. the pimple is gone but the white spot is still there. I may just go straight to a speacialist not the dentist. I am trying not to think about it but I cant help it. Why would a white spot be there? Its small but its THERE and it feels like it has all this power over me..thanks for all you wrote I hope to talk more..it is nice to know that I am not the only one who thinks this way

[MsRomanRose]

I understand where you are coming from; don't let the OCD destroy your life. I am pretty sure your "symptoms" are just another ugly manifestation of this evil disorder.  I do not have any growth on my tongue issue but have obsessed over other "health issues" due to OCD like STD's for a while.  Got checked x amount of times, and clean as a whistle, yet the obsessions kept sprouting doubts inside, and I went back to the doc's like a fool. So, like you say, when one obsession goes, another one replaces it. My most recent "symptom" centers around my heart/circulatory and lung issues; I "thought" I saw my lips turn bluish during a workout last week after I looked in the mirror.  My doc appointment is tomorrow but I will cancel it because I have a sneaky suspicion it is only the evil whispers of OCD...hmmmm.  I think this because I just worked out last night and had my dad, who is a doctor, look at me as I did it...he said I looked just fine; no signs of cyanosis..and I felt great, healthy as well.  My main OCD fight though, deals with contamination fears, and it is a fight everyday, but with my faith in God I just keep saying "I trust you" to Him, and it is getting better.  Also, another reason I am sure your "tongue growth" is OCD is because you said the dentist did not see anything.  If it were cancer it would not just disappear and reappear like that.  Cancer just does not work that way!  It is most likely, if anything, your body's reaction to the incredible stress you are going through due to OCD as well as your other life problems.  It may be irritated papillae, or a canker. It may also be a clogged gland; regardless, your body is reacting to the STRESS.  Also, the "mark" on your breast is probably nothing, and the rash was just that, a rash.  My poor mother has breast cancer, real breast cancer,  and she gets rashes under her breasts regularly (many women do) BUT THAT IS NOT RELATED TO HER CANCER....it is just a RASH.  She just puts cream or powder on it and she does not worry about her under breast rashes because she has a real problem to worry about...cancer. You cannot see the real cancer.  I know there is a form of breast cancer called inflammatory breast cancer where your breast changes to red/orange and changes in size, but I highly doubt that was your problem.  I get rashes too under the breast; areas like that easily get yeast infections, bacterial infections, etc.  It's a woman thing ; ).You are just too stressed out and  I would not be surprised if the rash was yeast related. Look, we suffer from OCD, an insidious diablolic voice that lives in our brain, and tries to fool us into believing its lies.  Fight it, occupy your brain with useful thoughts to immediately detract from your obsessive thoughts.  It helps...CBT.  I also believe that the OCD "worries" are my psyche's way of avoiding my problems too.  Just remember though, it is also OCD's other way to try to ruin your life.  We cannot avoid our problems, we must learn how to deal with them head on, and then I believe the OCD will diminish in its power over us.  I know this works, because I have faced my problems head on recently and the OCD is backing off.  Plus my faith helps tremendously, and if you have faith, as you said you pray, etc, then understand that NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING will hurt you and nothing should keep you from living without the Lord.  We are much stronger than we think. Look, we all leave this earth eventually, that is just the fact, so what are you really so afraid of?  Live to the fullest and deal with problems.  OCD will not protect you, just ruin you, and I learned the hard way that all it does is sabotage you. One more thing, strengthen your immune system and things will start balancing out more physically and mentally,so you won't get these yeast and other symptoms of stress.  Knock out processed foods, anything you are allergic too, like wheat or dairy.  I stopped wheat. I also take essential fatty acids like flax oil, fish oil, krill oil, as well as zinc, selenium, b-vit. and virgin coconut oil.  Multi-vitamins have a good balance, and also exercise.  I have started losing weight this way too; the fats will not make you fat. I have more energy and want to workout now. I am not a doctor, but I like to educate myself, and know a lot about these issues.  And my dad is an MD as well with lots of info to help me as well.  Just know that you can improve and get better with this OCD demon!  Keep the faith, I know I will.