Thanks slot for answering.
I'm the Arab world HIV is a word that no one dares to say. They used to isolate people who have it. Im not from Beirut I am from Saudi. But stay in Beirut quite often. You cannot get tested in Saudi unless you provide your I'd and they register it on the system. Foreigners are deported imidiatly and saudies are closely monitored. Anyway I will try this card thing its an excelent idea thank you very much.
Hi there and welcome to the OCD forum.
I'm not a doctor so I really cannot diagnose you on the forum as to whether you have OCD and your irrational thoughts are fixating on HIV or whether you have HIV Anxiety. The testing is obviously out of control as well.
It does sound though that this thinking has taken over your life at this point. I don't know what type of healthcare there is in Beirut and whether you can simply call a psychologist and make an appointment but that is who you really need to see. So you should start the process of getting yourself a psychologist that can diagnose and treat what you have going on.
For the time being try this breathing technique when you are anxious. Take a deep breath in through your nose, hold it for 5 seconds, and count this out in your head, then let it all out through your mouth. It helps to lie down so that you can put your hands on your stomack and feel the rise and fall when you do the breathing. You can also say "Up" and "Down" with the rise and fall of your hands.
Also, write down on a card the REAL ways that HIV can be transmitted. Then when you have this irrational thought pull out the card and read it. This will reinforce for you that your thinking is irrational and then you can say "enough" or "move on". Continue to do this as much as needed.
But in the mean time, get started on getting yourself in to see a psychologist.