Just diagnosed, tumor complex and desparately afraid... not of death so much as pain

[mickeyanns]

I read some of these and am thrown into more despair... I can't face chemo for years... I'm needle phobic and just have to be at the top of my game to work and can't afford to retire with no insurance then....I'm thinking if it's beyond stage one I should just make plans to end it... they are asking if they should do lymph nodes out etc... It's been a week and they couldn't get an OR room for another week (this Fri the 24th) and I'm already exhausted... is it really worth it to fight anything over stage I....I mean REALLY worth it with the quality of life.....I planned to retire in one year and travel around the world... my husband of 30 years dropped dead of an asthma attack at 52 six years ago and tomorrow would have been our 36th anniversary.... input please

[PinkTissue]

bump

[AJ70]

Take a deep breath. You don't know what stage you are in or if it is even malignant at this point, do you? I had a complex cyst too, and it was large - and it turned out to be stage one........no - this is not common and I thank God every single day - many times a day - that I am so blessed. But it might be what you find as well. And if not - it is definitely worth it to fight. Chemo isn't so bad. It isn't like it is portrayed on tv or the movies. You are very frightened and anxious right now - and it is hard to wait - but once you find out what you are dealing with - then you will make a plan and you WILL be able to deal with it. You have to. It is amazing the strength that you find out you have, when you really need it.

And if you need any examples of this - look at the many amazing women in this group. They take my breath away every single day - with their wonderful attitudes and perspectives. You can draw strength from them when you can't find it within yourself. And of course from family members and friends. And from your faith.

And I have been terrified of needles my entire life......HATE them......it is amazing how you get used to them........I still don't like them but am much braver than I once thought I was. And chemo isn't so terrible either. It is one small IV needle (in my case) in my hand once a month. Sit there and read for 5 hours. Then you feel under the weather for awhile .....but resting when you can helps you recharge.........and after the first week it gets better every day.  I don't work through it, mind you......but I do walk when I can and still ride my horse. It isn't so bad......

Please try not to panic and try to remember how precious life is! It is worth the fight.

Take care,

Amy

[survivor_susie]

Please fight!  Many women survive this disease, especially at the earlier stages.  

As far as the chemo treatments go, I worked full time and continued going to the gym throughout my treatments. I took one and a half days off during each round.

As far as pain is concerned, absolutely nothing has been painful.  Honest! I guess the most tender part was the chest port installation, and all I can say is that I was sore for a few days.  That's it.  I understand that you're needle phobic.  Just know that if you get a port installed in your chest, they will spray it with stuff before they insert the small needle into it each time.  It is numb that way, and you won't feel a thing.  Chemo is absolutely painless, too.

Take a deep breath.  I'm the world's biggest wimp.  I sailed through chemo.  You will, too.

[PinkTissue]

Life is really precious. Pls fight for it. My parents once thought they could not go through the cancer treatments when they discovered that they were diagnozed with advanced cancer (both 4th stage) but they have managed to do so. I am sure you would find the courage within you.

[crecco]

Yes, it really is worth it to fight, at any stage. I was dx at stage IV in Nov 05. I am also one of those who has been on chemo nonstop. But I feel better now than I did at the time of my dx.
  A cancer dx is never easy, and it is made even that much harder when you feel that you are facing it alone. but please remember that you are never alone. You have a big bunch of wonderful women right here who will be there for you, anytime you need.
  I am sure that your boss would work with you as you go through chemo if it is necessary so that you may be able to work until your retirement.
  Please keep us up to date on how things go and with the out come of your surgery.
   Chris

[Angie_Lou]

Yes, it is worth fighting anything over stage I.  I was dx stage IIIC in Apr 2007.  I believe you value life and truly have the determination to fight this.

I can only imagine that it is hard without your husband at your side while you face this, because unlike you, I am not married nor do I have children.  My sister is the one that faced this with me last year.  I only hope you have someone to help you face what you will be going through in the next months.

We all have detours in our lives and this just happens to be one for a selected few.  Once your detour is over, you go on with your plans to retire and travel the world.  I would love to go with you.

My best, Angie