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**********Need honest answers please!!
My MIL was diagnosed last month with Ovarian Cancer (Stage IV), presented with umbilical bleeding of the navel called 'Sister Mary Joseph's nodule', fluids in the abdomen, all the way to the lungs and into neighboring lymph nodes. They say that her type is rare and is called Carcinosarcoma Ovarian Cancer. This particular type of ovarian cancer has components of both carcinoma cells and sarcoma cells. That this type of cancer has also been called MMMT or Malignant Mixed Mullerian Tumors.
She's at the Cancer Treatment Center of America and treatment is of the aggressive nature. Chemo, surgery and chemo again..or at least that's the plan is "if" she comes through the first cycle of chemo her Dr. states.....
This is all I know. Nobody wants to say anything else. Need answers.
She's at the Cancer Treatment Center of America and treatment is of the aggressive nature. Chemo, surgery and chemo again..or at least that's the plan is "if" she comes through the first cycle of chemo her Dr. states.....
This is all I know. Nobody wants to say anything else. Need answers.
This disease goes fast sometimes. As you say you have to have the right doctors and attitude. We all make are choices and it looks like she has made hers. If she is really that thin she is considered failure to thrive.
You have done all you can it is up to her.
Alex
You have done all you can it is up to her.
Alex
(edited to correct in the above) May the God of heaven find it so fit to grant her mercy as she make her last final "grand finale".
"She's NOT changing this late in the game".... My goodness, a hard pill to swallow, but so true. Despite it all, I still do the research on diet, vitamins, and what ever else I can find out there. Some one mention B-17 (amygdalin) as an alternative treatment. I pass on all information to my husband and leave it in the hands of the Almighty. She has since turned down the offer to come and stay at our home stating...(and I quote) "unless she can occupy a room with her son there's no need to travel so far"! This has gone way too far and I have gracefully bowed out. May God have mercy on her soul! I
was trying to helpful, useful, as her decline is VERY fast. Yet, she denies "anything can be possibly wrong with her" and the doctors are incompetent... All this as she continues to send my husband selfies (pictures taken of herself) in various stages of her decline,.one without hair, one with a wig, one pre- debulking surgery posing in a strapless gown, one post surgery (most morbid) a 70 lb weight loss wrapped in blanket posing on the couch, ALL while smirking into the camera. May the God of heaven find it so fit to grant her mercy ash make her last final "grand finale". I never seen nothing like it!
Continue your fights, love family and friends alike! Live and love NOW while still have breath in our bodies. Praying for each and every one of you. God bless.
was trying to helpful, useful, as her decline is VERY fast. Yet, she denies "anything can be possibly wrong with her" and the doctors are incompetent... All this as she continues to send my husband selfies (pictures taken of herself) in various stages of her decline,.one without hair, one with a wig, one pre- debulking surgery posing in a strapless gown, one post surgery (most morbid) a 70 lb weight loss wrapped in blanket posing on the couch, ALL while smirking into the camera. May the God of heaven find it so fit to grant her mercy ash make her last final "grand finale". I never seen nothing like it!
Continue your fights, love family and friends alike! Live and love NOW while still have breath in our bodies. Praying for each and every one of you. God bless.
People can be manipulative. My mother was like that. She would call my brother and say she was dying come quick. He was 4 hours away as was I. He would rush to her. She would then be fine and ask him to take her to Wallmart. She knew I had her number so she did not call me. She had to pay people to come and see her at the end her life. She was always a manipulater she did not change. She said she was cutting out of her will and I said fine. I expected to be cut out of her will. She didn't she did tell me off in the will.
I also had a sister who was a taker. Both my mom and sister were practicing alcoholics and drug addicts. I had nothing to do with my sister the last years of her life as she died of Hepatitis C. She only was abusive and wanted money. I also drew the line with my mother when my dad died. I told her I would forgive all past ills but I was not continuing with the status quo.I was not repeating her relationship with her father. I would go up when she really needed it. Otherwise I kept my distance.
We owe are parents respect if they respect us back. We do not have to do everything they ask. That is not reasonable. If she is a taker I would not give her much. You do not have to pay her bills. My brother helps us out from time to time and I am grateful. I do not expect him to. If he never gave me another dime I would still love him the same.
Many people use illness to get what they want. I have MS and advanced Cancer and I do not use it. I have lots of support because I give and have given support to family and friends. Ovarian Cancer can go on for a long time. My advise is to not pay all her bills if you can't afford it. Your family comes first.
Nothing you say or do will ever be good enough. She is not changing this late in the game. Choose when you speak to her and limit the length of the calls. It won't make you a bad person.
Alex
I also had a sister who was a taker. Both my mom and sister were practicing alcoholics and drug addicts. I had nothing to do with my sister the last years of her life as she died of Hepatitis C. She only was abusive and wanted money. I also drew the line with my mother when my dad died. I told her I would forgive all past ills but I was not continuing with the status quo.I was not repeating her relationship with her father. I would go up when she really needed it. Otherwise I kept my distance.
We owe are parents respect if they respect us back. We do not have to do everything they ask. That is not reasonable. If she is a taker I would not give her much. You do not have to pay her bills. My brother helps us out from time to time and I am grateful. I do not expect him to. If he never gave me another dime I would still love him the same.
Many people use illness to get what they want. I have MS and advanced Cancer and I do not use it. I have lots of support because I give and have given support to family and friends. Ovarian Cancer can go on for a long time. My advise is to not pay all her bills if you can't afford it. Your family comes first.
Nothing you say or do will ever be good enough. She is not changing this late in the game. Choose when you speak to her and limit the length of the calls. It won't make you a bad person.
Alex
This is so hard. I try to care and love my MIL, offer her my home for her to stay with us is she needs too...I pray for her day and night, but she now demands that "her child" (my husband) picks up and leave his family to move to Staten Island, NY and stay with her cause she's "dying". She calls his phone about 10 times a day, e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y and by the time she's finished with him, he's overwhelmed, depress and crawls into bed with a headache. Who does that? Who uses a sickness in such manner? A terrible disease such as cancer is....who? I'm totally perplexed!
Here I am trying desperately to do all I can to help, trying to research the right foods to eat, trying to find ways to be a help and this is what I get? She even insist that he now pay ALL her bills because she can't work. (Despite receiving early retirement and Social security). She never calls to speak with her grand-kids....NEVER, just him. Yes, she's been this way for 13 years..but despite it all, I try to be kind to her,but nothing I say or do is ever good enough, however; now, it's gotten WORSE! And, she uses her diagnosis to a tee! He's driven to Staten Island twice in three months, from Tennessee! Now, she wants him to come again, just him.
I'm at lost at what to do, to say, to feel......God forgive me, but it's getting so hard to pray (crying here) and, I don't want to be that way. I've never struggled in my life to pray for anyone...till now.
Here I am trying desperately to do all I can to help, trying to research the right foods to eat, trying to find ways to be a help and this is what I get? She even insist that he now pay ALL her bills because she can't work. (Despite receiving early retirement and Social security). She never calls to speak with her grand-kids....NEVER, just him. Yes, she's been this way for 13 years..but despite it all, I try to be kind to her,but nothing I say or do is ever good enough, however; now, it's gotten WORSE! And, she uses her diagnosis to a tee! He's driven to Staten Island twice in three months, from Tennessee! Now, she wants him to come again, just him.
I'm at lost at what to do, to say, to feel......God forgive me, but it's getting so hard to pray (crying here) and, I don't want to be that way. I've never struggled in my life to pray for anyone...till now.
I will answer any questions I can. I felt so alone when I was diagnosed until I joined a local support group of three women. It helped me to have someone to answer my questions so that is why I do it. We laugh a lot. Anyone going by our room would be confused.
I think it is hard to discuss things with family because of the emotional ties. Some people are very private and do not like to discuss illness. I have been lucky to find two other women with Ovarian Cancer. One has been stage 4 for over five years. She is in her 70's and amazing. She has been through more than I have and is quick to make a joke. Everyone has to deal with it their own way. In a way each Cancer is so individual depending on where it is attacking. Most women die from Ovarian Cancer due to bowel blockage. So as long as they can keep the bowels from being blocked you have a shot at fighting it. The first Chemo series is rough. I do not know how I got through it except one day at a time.
Alex
I think it is hard to discuss things with family because of the emotional ties. Some people are very private and do not like to discuss illness. I have been lucky to find two other women with Ovarian Cancer. One has been stage 4 for over five years. She is in her 70's and amazing. She has been through more than I have and is quick to make a joke. Everyone has to deal with it their own way. In a way each Cancer is so individual depending on where it is attacking. Most women die from Ovarian Cancer due to bowel blockage. So as long as they can keep the bowels from being blocked you have a shot at fighting it. The first Chemo series is rough. I do not know how I got through it except one day at a time.
Alex
Thank you again HVAC..sorry if the "thank you's" become excessive, it's just that I'm so grateful for your response and taking the time out to reach out to a total stranger. I cannot imagine what you have to deal with on a daily basis. I just want to be able to help my MIL as much as possible. Don't know much about her pain level as she doesn't not like to discuss her diagnosis at all. I get bits and pieces from other family members (my husband). I think she is especially trying to shield him from knowing too much. God knows I understand that much and I'm not pushing at all. You continue the good fight. Be bless.
They have all kinds of anti nausea drugs. My doctors say no one needs to throw up because of chemo. Sometimes they have to use old school drugs for nausea.Magic Mouth wash can work it is a perscription but Cancer doctors know it. It is Malox, benadryl and something else. It can help. Also suppositories when you throw up anti nausea medication.
I drink a lot of ensure. They told me you have to think of eating like taking medicine and schedule it and eat whether you want to or not. I schedule it. Also distracted eating I use to eat when ever I talked to my friends on the phone. They would have me eat as I talked. I did not have to think about eating and it was easier. Six small meals work best. You need more calories during chemo. Stoffers chicken with mashed potatoes because they are bland. I can't stand the smell of food. Bland is good.
I have absolutely not eaten or want to even drink water. I lost so much weight I had to quit chemo for awhile just to get weight back on so I could have more chemo.
Also when you have Cancer sometimes you get sick of people telling you to eat, etc. Especailly if they push. Sometimes the patient will push back by not eating. You feel so powerless and sick. At some parts of chemo you actually can fight yourself. You just feel like giving in. Once you stop eating it is easy to just get into the pattern of not eating.The body gets used to not eating. I stayed in bed and did not eat or drink because I felt so hopeless. It is a daunting task to fight when you are stage 4. But if you get to feeling better and the Cancer gets beaten back it is worth it. With me I know I have to fight Cancer for the the rest of my life. I did not sign up for this. Most days I am okay with it and sometimes not.
Also how is her pain level. I have a good pain specialist and I could not get through this with out her. I was so scared of ever being in pain. They have promised me I will never be in pain if they can help it. That means the world to me. I was more scared of pain than anything else.
It is hard to be a loved one or care giver. We with Cancer just have to get through it. For people watching us and wanting to take it away it is hard.
There is a book I think the Cancer Society has about eating with chemo the hospital should have a access to it. Oh I ate a lot of power bars or energy bars they were easier to get down than a meal. I have to do quick things I do not have to think about. If I had to prepare it, smell it or take any effort eating forget it. I also could not do lots of volume such as soups or shakes. Small servings. I even did lean cuisines and ate half for awhile.
Everyone is different for each person. It is tough.
Alex
I drink a lot of ensure. They told me you have to think of eating like taking medicine and schedule it and eat whether you want to or not. I schedule it. Also distracted eating I use to eat when ever I talked to my friends on the phone. They would have me eat as I talked. I did not have to think about eating and it was easier. Six small meals work best. You need more calories during chemo. Stoffers chicken with mashed potatoes because they are bland. I can't stand the smell of food. Bland is good.
I have absolutely not eaten or want to even drink water. I lost so much weight I had to quit chemo for awhile just to get weight back on so I could have more chemo.
Also when you have Cancer sometimes you get sick of people telling you to eat, etc. Especailly if they push. Sometimes the patient will push back by not eating. You feel so powerless and sick. At some parts of chemo you actually can fight yourself. You just feel like giving in. Once you stop eating it is easy to just get into the pattern of not eating.The body gets used to not eating. I stayed in bed and did not eat or drink because I felt so hopeless. It is a daunting task to fight when you are stage 4. But if you get to feeling better and the Cancer gets beaten back it is worth it. With me I know I have to fight Cancer for the the rest of my life. I did not sign up for this. Most days I am okay with it and sometimes not.
Also how is her pain level. I have a good pain specialist and I could not get through this with out her. I was so scared of ever being in pain. They have promised me I will never be in pain if they can help it. That means the world to me. I was more scared of pain than anything else.
It is hard to be a loved one or care giver. We with Cancer just have to get through it. For people watching us and wanting to take it away it is hard.
There is a book I think the Cancer Society has about eating with chemo the hospital should have a access to it. Oh I ate a lot of power bars or energy bars they were easier to get down than a meal. I have to do quick things I do not have to think about. If I had to prepare it, smell it or take any effort eating forget it. I also could not do lots of volume such as soups or shakes. Small servings. I even did lean cuisines and ate half for awhile.
Everyone is different for each person. It is tough.
Alex
Her appetite is nil to none she says. Any suggestion of what kinds of food are more suitable..plus the nausea. so worried.
They are probably doing more since it is stage 4 and they want to knock it back. I did six chemos but they wanted me to do more when I finished. I am going on 17 rounds now. I went to a different chemo because I am in a Clinical Trial.
Alex
Alex
It is usually 6 treatments once every three weeks. It is normal to lose your hair two weeks in. Its rough chemo. I lost alot of weight. I did not want to eat. If she can keep eating that is good. Try foods that do not smell like mashed potato turkey dinners.
Alex
Alex
On April 7th 2014 my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. Fluids has built into her stomach & lungs. The cancer also has spread into her lungs. She also started her taxol & some other chemo meds. But I was wondering - for how long would this treatment will be? She even lost all her hair already on the 1st treatment. :'(
On April 7th 2014 my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. Fluids has built into her stomach & lungs. The cancer also has spread into her lungs. She also ready started her taxol & some other chemo meds. But I was wondering - for how long would this treatment will be? She even lost all her hair already on the 1st treatment. :'(
I truth is the way each woman makes it through Ovarian Cancer is individual. I had stage IV Clear Cell Ovarian Cancer and Cancer in 15 places. The Statistics said I would be dead. I became terribly under weight and needed blood which I was not getting. I changed hospitals third chemo and got into exactly the right clinical trial for me. Now I have beat back the cancer and am doing well. Every woman's story really is her own. I have not seen to cases the same. Sounds like she is in good hands. I was sick for six years before they found the cancer. Then I was so sick coming out of surgery. I did take 8 months off after the intitial chemo to gain my weight back. The disease spread but just the right clinicical trial was there it it is a crap shoot.
Alex
Alex
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