This is what they mean by effective?

[ConcernedInNY]

I apologize in advance for this duplicate post, but I wanted to start another thread so that this thought doesnt get lost in the shuffle.

Anyway.....Turns out my brother wasnt paying attention.

I spoke with the doc myself....and she did say that the treatment is very effective and that 50% go into remission. The thing is, of those 50%, about 40% of those the cancer comes back.
I work with numbers for a living so this means, in agreement with the doctor, that the chances for long term survival are only 30%. They call that effective?!

The doc tried to comfort me and say you cant just look at those numbers. My mom had a successful surgery and right now she is doing well. I have to hold onto that. But still - the numbers terrify me.

I start the support group next week. Im falling apart - I cant sleep through the night and Im always crying. I have to be strong for my mom, but I cant pull myself together. Who the hell am I to feel sorry for myself when my poor mom, like many of you other women, have to go through this ordeal.

But come on, is 30% really considered effective? I was hoping for at least 50%. Actually the numbers really dont matter.....I just need my mom to fall into the category of beating this thing. Please pray for her.

Thank you.

[ConcernedInNY]

Im just having such a terrible time dealing with this. No matter how many people cross my path or how many people care about me, no one can ever love me the way my mom does.  I honestly dont know what to do.  My heart is breaking and Im panicked.  Im praying the chemo will work on her.

I also hope my mom is not that scared.  Thats also weighing heavy on my mind.  I dont want her to feel afraid and alone.

I always knew I love my mom...but until this all happened, I never realized just how strong my feelings are for her.  I just dont know what to do.


I would have felt a little better if they had gotten out 100% of the visible cancer.  As it stands now, theres 2% remaining plus all the microscopic cells they cant see.

I really need some hugs.  Im a weak person.

[chelan2]

Don't get too caught up in the stats.  One of the things they say now about ovarian cancer is that it is a long-term disease.  By that I mean that there are many different chemo treatments they can use when one fails.  After her first round of chemo 'if' she has a recurrence (and I hope she doesn't) it's not necessarily dire news as there are a lot of different chemos and combos of chemo to try.  
When my dad was diag. with cancer it was real tough, he was in his eighties but in very good health prior to diag. and very athletic and ate better than anyone I knew.  It was hard trying to be strong for him and my mom, so I know what you're going through.  You want to do something to fix it, but you know you can't.  The best thing you can do is be supportive and become educated about her illness, but don't let it drag you down too.  Your mom needs you healthy now too.

Take care.
I'll keep your mom and you in my prayers.

debbie

[ConcernedInNY]

The thing is, she is 75 years old and lets face it, she is getting up there.  Its just that I want so much more time with her.  I love her.

Im scared...she is Stage 3C...BUT no signs of it in her lymph nodes or on her liver.  THAT has to be good....because some Stage 3C have them in the nodes or even on the liver.  Does this at all improve her odds?

I hate feeling so panicked and unable to help her.

That saying on the placque....is it too depressing?  The last thing I want to do it upset my mom.

[DebiR]

Concerned-
You have to believe that your mom can beat this.  She needs that energy from you.  Also, continue to surround her with all of this love.  As the mother of three boys and a cancer survive I can tell you that when those boys of mine (22,17 and 15) put there arms around me, or make me a cup of tea or tell me they love me - I can practically feel cancer cells dying!  Just give her love and let God and the doctors take care of the rest.

[ConcernedInNY]

I bought a few gifts for my mom...hopefully to make her smile.  But I wanted something to convey how I feel about her.  I found a small placque with this message on it:

"A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take."

How true is that?!

I love you mom!

[cip]

I will think positive thoughts for your mom. My sister was diagnosed with Stage 3C lung cancer at the age of 36.They gave her a 15% chance of making it 5 years. They rejected her as a surgical candidate in Ohio, and we found a surgeon in Texas to do surgery after she went 15 rounds of chemo and had a reoccurance. She lived, went back to grad school and made it another 9 years. Stats aren't everything - it is more helpful for people to focus on living and thriving - I wish the best for you and your mom.....