6 year old with social fidgeting

[cbette]

Hi, I have a 6 year old who fidgets when in social settings ( he will quickly wipe at his nose, quickly scratch at his forehead, pick at his shirt collar, or scratch his lower calf...) ... he does not do this when he is at home or in a setting that is familiar (grandparents house, aunt's house) ... I don't know if this is a normal thing or if I should be worried .... help please

[jdtm]

Probably not worried (a bit concerned, perhaps) as long as he is able to function in the social setting.  By function, I mean that he is able to do his school work, play and interact with the other children, eat in front of others, etc.  He will not "fidget" at home because he is in a comfortable and safe environment.  When he feels "safe", then the fidgeting will stop in other social settings.  One of the best ways to teach him to feel "safe, is to expose him to social setting after social setting much in the same way that a person who is scared of heights must climb again and again.  This is called desensitizing.  Don't mention to your son what you are doing (or even draw attention to his fidgeting) but try to have someone near so that he feels comfortable and gradually, allow him to be in social situations alone.  By the way, this will take months or even years before he feels completely comfortable - so the process cannot be rushed.  It also takes a lot of love and a lot of patience.

A book you might wish to read is "Keys to Parenting Your Anxious Child" by Katharina Manassis should offer more insight.  It can be purchased in bookstores, on-line or borrowed from the public library system.