6 yr old agressive toward brothers

[debrsst]

My 3 grandsons have just come to live with me along with there Mom. Ages 4, 6 and 8. Lately the 6 year old who already have impluse control issues has been doing mean things to his brothers. Last weekend he told the oldest to look into the little dot on a bottle of perfume and when he got close sprayed it into his eye. I thought he might not have known it would hurt but later when we were talking about the behavior he said he knew it would hurt and wanted to do it. Tonight while eating dinner he tricked the youngest one to look down at his plate and when he was close enough he smashed his face into his dinner. We do not know the best course of action to take. We discussed the need to be kind and not hurt others and he was removed and had to sit out for the rest of the nights activites (45 min) I would like some help with behavior modifications techniques to deal with him. I realize that some agressive behavior is to be expected with boys but this type of mean spirited unprovocted behavior is disturbing and we would like to arrest it soon. He is a challenge at school and unless we can find ways to help him it sill only become more of an issue.

thanks
deb  

[KLT83]

I have a six year old boy also, he can be a handfull. there are a few things that I started doing the past couple of months that seem to help. First I sat down with him and made a disapline folder. I bought a folder with brads at walmart ( they are like 50 cents each) We wrote down all of our rules, and the concequence for each one one a piece of paper and put it in the folder. This way he is very clear of each rule and what will happen if he disobeys them. Every time that he breaks a rule, we pull out the folder and look through it to find what he did wrong, and what the concequence will be, and I stik to it every time. One of the concequences in there is writing lines. It is so simple, but it helps alot! so if he hits someone, I write on the top of the paper (I will not hit), and he has to write it ten times, and say it outlaud as he is writing it. by the time he is done his little hand is sore, and he has repeated it enough times that he remembers it. He hates to write lines because it makes his hand hurt and its boring.  so the things that are important like htting and not listening in school, you should make him write lines every time he does it. It helped with my son. good luck. I hope this helps

[margypops]

Check out the dynamics going on between him and his siblings particularly an older one, sometimes this is a learned behavior, maybe the older boy has done some things to the 6 year old, and the 6 year old is retaliating, worth taking a look at what may be going on.Is there a Dad around can do sports and games ,outside acdtivities getting rid of some surplus energy, focus on his postive side.

[debrsst]

Thanks for these comments. The older boy is not agressive...actually the opposite and way to concerned about doing the right thing to exhibit this type of behavior. (which will have to be addressed as well. There is no male figure today their father is not equipped to understand this is behavior that can get out of control and bullish. He would most likely laugh about it. Sad but true. However we run and excerise usually daily. I like the idea of the folder I hope it continues to work for you.

Thanks and I will continue to search for the right thing to do
nanna