8 yr old son doesn't like to be alone

[jdesbans]

My 8 yr old son is generally a very normal and very advanced boy.  He's quite advanced at school, is very social and has lots of friends.  He is musically inclined and very athletic.  All in all, he's quite gifted.  However, he does not like to be alone, at all.  He has a difficult time entertaining himself, is in constant need of a playdate, will not play in his room alone (although he will sleep there if someone lays with him until he falls asleep).  He calls me when I'm out on errands, needing to know when I'll be back and wanting to stay on the phone with me until I am in the driveway.  He needs to know where I am in the house at all times.  It seems to be some kind of separation anxiety, although he is fine to go to school and to go to others homes.  Lately he has started biting his nails, which is believe is another symptom of anxiety.  Our family is stable...no divorce or deaths.  We also have a daughter who is 6 and they do fight fairly regularly.  My husband does suffer from panic disorder and is on medication to treat it and it doing very well on it. I am concerned about how I should handle this.  Do I support it, keeping him close to me at home and hope that he outgrows it? Or, with some family history, should I pursue some treatment before it gets worse?  I would appreciate any advice.

[jdesbans]

Thank you for your thoughts.  I will talk to my husbands doctor about it.

[jdtm]

My husband does suffer from panic disorder and is on medication to treat it and it doing very well on it.  --  your words

Anxiety is an inherited trait - it usually is not the result of life experiences.  It appears that your son might have inherited this gene from his father.  By the way, your son is now eight years old - often the age that GAD begins - generalized anxiety disorder.  You might wish to google this term to learn more about this particular disorder.


Do I ... keep him close to me at home and hope that he outgrows it? -- your words

If anxiety is the issue, I assure you that your son will not outgrow it nor will it go away.  Certain behaviours may disappear but they will only be exchanged for others.  Anxieties and fears can be managed; however, most people (especially children) require help to do this.


should I pursue some treatment before it gets worse  --  your words

Yes, treatment should be sought as soon as possible.  The earlier the diagnosis; the better the prognosis (and the shorter the treatment time).  And, there is no reason for your son to suffer with this disorder.  First, you start by contacting your family doctor - if he/she is unable to help you, then you ask for a referral to a medical specialist with experience in anxiety disorders (as a child psychiatrist or child neurologist).  If anxiety is the case, treatment should be a multi-modal plan usually involving intervention,therapy and possibly medication.  By the way, could your husband's doctor help you in this endeavour?  Rest assured that anxiety is a very common mental health issue and highly treatable in children.  I wish you the best .....