9 year old soiling pants

[arekgb]

I am at the end of my rope.  My nine year old son poops his pants every day.  This has been going on for over two years now.  We have been to doctors, gastroenterologist, and, counselors.  Nothing has helped!  We have used miralax, stool sofeners, and fiber.  We have made hime set on the toilet several times a day.  We have tryed rewards and punishment.  Nothing has worked.  He has been wearing pullups for over year becasue we can not afford to keep buying underwear.  He pretends nothing is out of the ordindary.  He will not clean himself up until someone smells him and tells him to do so.  Now we are having major issues at school because of this.  His father and I are so frustrated with this and just do not know what else to do.  There has been no trauma or abuse.  We have tryed to just say ok our child poops his pants and that is the way it is and just accept it becasue nothing has worked, but that is not working either.  It is causing our whole family much turmoil.  Please does anyone have any suggestions other than what has been posted.

[margypops]

How is it causing family turmoil,? Perhaps too much emphasis has been put on the matter and it has created an anxiety ,to put a 9 year old into pullups is not a good idea no wonder he poops in them thats what they are for ....I suggest to you that you take them away let him be in control of his own body , speak less about it and no punishments for something he may not be able to help.Its created a big anxiety and this has created the turmoil you speak of.Take a step back start again , and lessen the attitude that you have towards it..focus on his positive side and priase him when you see him doing something right..If you back off him he will take control himself ....

[arekgb]

This causes family turmoil in several ways.  His father and I disagree as to how to handle the situation.  Every time we go somewhere he goes in his pants and smells.  If he wears underwear the poop falls in the floor.  He did wear underwear for much of the time that this has been going on, however I can not buy new underwear every week.  Also he cannot go to school with underwear on and then poop his pants there.  We tried backing off and just letting it go, but then he just smelled all the time becasue he pooped and would not clean up unless told to do so.  WE do praise him for positive things he does.  He is very smart and makes great grades in school and we make a big deal about this.  I am really looking for someone who has been in this situation with some specific sugestions on how to fix the issue.  Thanks for your comments.

[margypops]

Until you find out why he is doing this what is upsetting him you wont fix it, maybe a therapist will be able to help... Good Luck

[leith2000son]

I feel your pain! We too are at the end of our rope. Tried everything except pull ups, and I'm not sure that would help. We have taken away his toys, play stations, friends, and NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK. He is good in school, ( A's & B's) has friends and  makes them easily. Other than this problem, he is an absolute joy to raise!
Maybe we need a therapist as suggested.....................I so don't know.

[smjazm123]

my son has the same issue going on any as well hell poop in his pants and currently seeing a counselor. Only cause i tried the stool softner, got x-rays done cause he said he couldn't feel it, but still goes all the time several times a day. He still says he cant feel it doesnt know when he has to go. he sit there in the car and go while hes talking to you or sitting next to you. Not sure what advise to give you but that your childs not the only one that theres others out there that are doing it.

[maryfran2010]

I'm feeling your pain also. Do you live at my house? Your son sounds like a clone of my daughter. I have a few posts out there under child behavior.  My daughter will be 8 in June and soils her pants all the time...even in school...anywhere we go.  Its very frustrating and stressful...for the whole family!  We've been to child behavior clinics and worked the reward charts...she is very smart an knows how to work the system.  We've been to Gastro and confirmed there is NOTHING physically wrong with her.  Even had her tested for Celiac disease.  The Gastro Dr. diagnosed her as having Encopresis...which is basically the act of soiling their pants...its behavioral and you'll never ever answer the question why, so try to stop asking yourself that question.  I still wonder about it everyday.  She did have a period of time early on (4 & 5yrs old) where she was dealing with major constipation...this kid could go a full week without pooping.  We've done miralax, mineral oil, dietary changes and nothing seems to work.  She was up to almost 6 squares of exlax a day at one point.  That actually helped keep the stool soft enough so that she could hold as much in the intestines so her muscles (that were stretched due to constipation) would get back to normal.  She's been off the exlax almost a year and she still soils and has very similar  behavior as your son...not getting the feeling, avoiding, pure denial.  Currently we are working with a family therapist.  We are trying to attack the problem from the "personal responsibility" angle.  We have a daily log and keep track of clean days, successful days (poop in toilet) and washing out underpants.  She earns points.  When she reaches a pre-agreed upon number of points she receives rewards such as time on the Wii, extra TV time, special time with mom or dad, etc.  I've already spent millions on the material stuff and am not going there again.  She has her own bucket, scrub brush and detergent for cleaning her own poopy pants.  We've had short period of time say 2 or 3 weeks when she has had total success...then a long weekend comes around or school vacation and she regresses.  Very very frustrating.  The hard part and the key is the consistency...with our busy lives some times we forget to update the log, or its too late in the evening for her to start washing out the pants, etc.  Then she regresses again...we do have other things in life to attend to.   Oh and the punishment only makes it worse.
Sorry for the long post, but I'm starting to finally feel like we're not alone...Hang in there...they tell me she wont walk down the "wedding aisle" that way.  Not sure I believe it yet.

[arekgb]

Thanks for the post.  It helps to just vent to someone who knows how you feel about the situation.  We have been to a child therapist and we have tried the charts, but we make no progress whatsoever so we can never give out any rewards.  Then this makes me feel really bad becasue I feel as if he really cannot do anything about the situation or he would do it for the rewards.  He always says that he cannot feel it, although at times I can catch him in the act and it looks as if he knows hes doing it.  I am so glad to hear someone else say that there are other things in life to deal with.  Some of my family make it seem as if it is my fault becasue I cannot be with him 24/7 to work with him.  I also have a younger son and I have a job that I have to do to support us finacially.  School is getting to be a real issue also.  Does the miralax make her stool really runny?  My son had constant diarhea while on the miralax.  Stool softners seem to work better for him and I am buying fiber bars by the case now.  Well I hope things get better and if you need to vent I am here.  I added you to my friends list.

[maryfran2010]

I feel the same way...we can be venting friends:)  I know it blows my mind...same thing she continues to claim that she doesn't get any "feeling" and then I'll see her withdraw from conversation and her body language says to me that she's feeling something.  Her teacher is wonderful...I keep in close contact with her via email.  The teacher put together a special book bag for her and a timer, so at 1:30 (most days) she takes her bag and goes to sit in the Teacher's bathroom for 15 Min.  This doesn't always happen as she doesn't want to miss math class...how do you counter that?  This week she's been clean during the days and the soiling seems to now be happening in the middle of the night while she's sleeping.  I'm contemplating giving her some "magic" chocolate (ex lax) this weekend. She hasn't had in quite sometime. She may be a little backed up and now its leaking out around a blockage again. The miralax does give her the constant diarrhea, so we don't use that anymore because then she has absolutely no control.  Don't let your family get you down...mine all think I'm crazy and making to big of a deal about it.  I'm full time working mom also and my younger daughter who is 6 doesn't have any issues with it.  She's just fine and actually asks me if I'm tired of dealing with Julia's sneaky poop problem.  Gotta love her.   My mommy guilt kicks in all the time, but I just keep telling myself that we do what we have to do.  Try getting him to clean out his own pant...I know it sounds gross, but it has help us a little.  I just have to get better at keeping on top of things...not letting them pile up.  Try some dried prunes also...I didn't think she would like them but it turns out she loves them.  I buy the ones that are individually wrapped...they're like candy to her.  Hang in there.

[rockymill]

I am new to this website but to have some people I can actually talk to about this has almost made me cry. My 8 year old daughter displays all these symptons. We have been dealing with this since she was 4. We have gone down every route imaginable and nothing works. I can't remember anytime when it was fine but I am guessing there have 2 or 3 week periods when things were better. We are under a paeditrician who is prescribing miralax but quite frankly it just makes it worse. I am neither punishing or rewarding her now just dealing with it, cleaning her, throwing the underwear and giving her new. I just bought 30 pairs of knickers today.. one pair already in the bin!
Am now getting a referral to see a child psychologist to see if they can help. Other than this she is a very bright confident child. Has loads of friends etc etc but at some point they are going to notice she stinks of poo all the time and its going to start to affect her. I hate the impact it has on our family, makes me stress on days out, holidays etc. The worts is that when I just tell her quietly she has pooped and to come to the toilet and I will change her etc. she denies it, refuses to come etc etc. How do you remain calm through all of that!?! School are great and if it happens there they change her and thats that. Please just reply so I have someone to talk to. x

[arekgb]

I know what you mean about needing to talk about it with someone.  And it is sooo frustrating when you tell them lets go clean up and they pretend like there is no reason to and just go on with whatever they are doing like there is no problem.  My son has had this problem since about the end of second grade and will be entering 5th grade this fall.  I totally agree that the miralax makes it worse.  We have an appointment with yet another gastroenteroligist in July.  We have been just letting it go and dealing with a day at a time, but a friend of mine was having the same problem with her grandaughter and they took her to this doctor and he has actually helped so I got my doctor to refer to him.  I will let everyone know what happens although I am not holding my breath for any answers as I havn't gotten any thus far.  My husband and my mom think he does it on purpose but I just can't fathom why a 10 year old would put hiself through this on purpose and besides he does this several times a day and that in itself isn't normal is it?  Keep the comments coming it helps keep me sane just to let it all out on here with people who understand.

[rockymill]

have been thinking about this so much in the last few days.. not sure why just sometimes it gets to me more than others. I actually believe that physically they can help it.. i.e there is nothing wrong with them.. but mentally they can't help it. Its clearly a control thing and inpossible for any sane person to comprehend but like all "mental" illness its just happens. I think its a bit like child anorexia physically they can eat but mentally they can't and whatever you say and however ill they are it makes no difference. Its a mental thing! We have to have some type of laxative because whilst it def makes it worse without she just becomes all bunged up and never goes and then she will get ill. At least with the laxative I know she is being cleared out. Today she came home from school told me she had dirtied her underwear and cleaned herself etc. However the teacher never said anything, her spare pair were still in her bag and I happened to remember the underwear she went to school in and managed to just check and saw she was infact clean and still wearing the same pair!!! So whats that all about then??? Its not like she doesnt get enough attention I am always telling her how great she is at stuff to try and boost her just incase that is the issue!! Lets just pray they grow out of it!!!

[arekgb]

It is harder at times.  I think what frustrates me the most is the lying.  I can smell that he has poop on him but if I ask him about he will deny it until I end up checking him myself and there it is.  Then he will lie about if he is wearing his underwear or pullup, and then the poop ends up in the floor and he will just step around it and acts like he doesn't eben see it there. Well at least he doesn't hide his soiled pants anymore.  WE went through a time when he was hiding them all over the house.  I try not to give him any attention at all with this issue, but how can you not?  I can't let him walk around for days with the same dirty underpants which he would do if I wasn't on to him constantly to clean up and shower.  I am just trying to deal one day at a time and I keep praying that one day he will just decide to stop.  I am so concerned about the school year coming up and how we will all deal with this then.  He will be in the 5th grade, and I know how kids can be so cruel.  We are always doing things together as a family so I don't think it is a attention thing although it just hit my mind that he is very jealous of his younger brother but we are very careful to do things with each of them equally, and he always wants him to go with us when we do stuff.  Last weekend we went to see toy story then to a waterpark and we are camping this weekend and going to the zoo.  I am trying to spend time with them during the summer.  I do have to work and he has commented once that I am always working, but providing food and roof has to first.  I know I am just babbaling, this is just all running around in my head, but I guess like you said the only thing we can do at this point is pray that they grow out of it!  Thanks for listening to my nonsense babble!

[maryfran2010]

Hi,

I was catching up on some posts as I haven't logged on in a while.  Looks like we have a little "talking poop" group here and it's wonderful.  My daughter just turned 8 and what you described in your last post to arekgb is exactly what goes on in our home.  I have to say it stresses me out in waves also.  Some weeks I'm totally consumed by it, and others I just take one day at a time.  You mentioned that you are helping your daughter clean up.  At teh suggestion of our therapist, I've stopped helping her do that and have put my daughter in charge of her own clean-up.  Ofcourse I still help because let's face is, sometimes its just too much for her to handle. But at least 95% of the time she is cleaning her own underpants and herself.  I agree with your comparison to anorexia and it being a "mental" thing.  We've actually slacked off a little regarding therapy and the "reward" chart.  Just the chart was stressing us both out as we forget to update it daily because we're usually dealing with a "clean-up" situation right before bedtime and I just lose sight of it.  Then the next morning comes and its busy again...off we go to school or camp now and its forgotten again.  Then we find ourselves trying to catch up a few days.  There's also not enough time to do daily rewards everyday for keeping clean or doing potty sits...very frustrating.  My daughter also gets a lot of  attention and praise for many things...she's definitely not neglected by any means.  She also has a younger sibling and there's definitely some jealousy there.  My 6 year old daughter is such an easy child thank goodness...no issues whatsoever.  They're very close.  So this week I've challenged Julia to stay clean all week (M-F) and we'll go to the movies as a family on Friday night.  Day 1 she was clean at camp all day YEAH!!!....except of course right before bed there was some in her pants.  I saw the body language earlier in the evening and prompted her to go to to the bathroom to try but she refused.  I'm tired of explaining this to her.  She asked if she could have another chance this morning as she knows she already lost the challenge.  I caved and said ok as long as she is clean all day at camp and promised to sit on the toilet for 10min when we get home tonight.  We'll see how it goes...not sure if I made the right decision.  

[rockymill]

On monday morning (wed today) I went to see a child psychologist (just me not my daughter as well) Anyway after long discussions (me crying!) we established it is purely a control/attention issue and my daughter as wonderful as she may be is a very controlling and manipualtive child! Anyway we talked about reward charts etc and I now have 3 charts going in my house which all 3 kids are doing. When I explained this to them all on Monday night and how pooing on toilet was going to result in a cupcake after dinner and "golden time" 1/2 extra before bedtime to watch TV. Daughter with the problem immediately went off and pooed in the toilet! (first time in 3 months!) I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Yesterday she came home from school clean (again not happened for at least 6 weeks and then during the evening did two toilet trips of her own accord and was clean at bedtime. Whilst I don't think this is sorted because we have semi succeeded with reward charts before at least I know for sure it is her manipulating me, rather than something pysically wrong with her. also changed her miralax dosage to 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 in the evening whereas before I was doing all in the morning!  Am going back to the therapist in 2 weeks so at least I feel I can be strong for 2 weeks before I see her again.
I think the key with the reward thing is making it daily at the beginning because like you said above, if they screw up on day one the next 6 days are worthless. At least daily they only have to wait a day before they try again and then you are not going back on your word. Also because I have 3 charts going (poo in the toilet, behaviour, listens when prompted to poo and cleans herself if messed)  she can achieve some of that so she can get a reward for something at least even if she doesn't get the poo reward!
Anyway good luck.. just pleased I have some other people to talk to as sometimes you feel like you are the only one dealing with this!

[maryfran2010]

I was trying to send this to both of you but can't figure out how to put two friends in the To field.  I'll copy and send to arekgb.  

So glad to hear of your daughter's and your success.  It is such a great feeling when they succeed!!  You can almost feel like you can breathe again.  Our daughters sound very similar...fantastic children whom are both smart and manipulative!!!  I agree its a total control issue.  I've actually been avoiding our therapist lately as we've slacked on the charts...I just can't seem to keep up.  I also think we're at the point where the charts were causing me to nag her more to update her status.  As I stated in yesterday's post I challenged her this week with the following...Clean days at camp and at least a 5 minute potty sit in the evening earns a family trip to the movies this coming Friday night.  Well..we also had success last night woo hooo!!!!  Julia was clean on Monday and again on Tuesday.  When we arrived home last night  (Tues night) I praised her privately (just me and her, no sister or dad around) for the fact that she was clean again at camp all day.  I then went into the bathroom for myself and she followed (happens all the time to me in our home)  I reminded her that part of the deal was that she sit for at least 5 minutes and that she could decide to do it either before or after diner.  Well about 15 minutes later she disappeared of her own will.  Next thing I know she comes into the living room with a big smile!!!  We all went into bathroom and saw her success...it was amazing.  She was so proud of herself!!!  I ran with it.  She asked if we could have an ice cream celebration like we used to do when she was 5 and so we did.  A little ice cream with a candle to celebrate.  Hopefully we're on an upward trend.  I don't like to get too excited because we have been here before as far as 3 weeks of success and then regression...but I'm going to try and stay positive.  

Also, I'm glad to hear you went to the therapist without her.  It definitely helped me...I was able to cry and get it all out. This is definitely an attention grabber whether its good or bad attention it doesn't matter.  I also think that having her clean her own dirty pants has helped...she does not want to do it.  I removed the bucket from our bathroom as she is lazy and they would pile up before she decided the clean them.  Now she has to clean them as soon as she takes them off if they're dirty and she is becoming tired of it.  I'm thinking camp is also helping this year.  they go every year but this is the first year my younger daughter is going.  Julia now really feels like the big sister, showing her little sister how camp works.  I think this is also building her self confidence which is also a contributing factor.

Glad hear things are looking up...enjoy the success!!!  You're not alone!!

[krazykat27]

i have this same problem my son is now 9 years old... he was also diognosed with mild autism but im not sure if this is linked... we have tryed proberly everything going .. nothing has worked... he has been seeing soo many nurses and docters since he was 5 .. with no change .. we have been to top hospitals in london had ops done to investigate tryed difrent meds everything but nothing works... i have no ideas when and if it will stop but me and my partner have just given up bad i know but we are fed up... so now its a case of just cleaning and go... forget bout it... it is embaressing when ur out and you can smell it and then other people smell it but ive learnt to distract from this with the old ohh youve trod in dog poo never mind we will clean it up now... we just make sure we have a bag with all his spares in and wipes ectt... and just carry on the days as per... if the cost is difficult.. i have just applied for disabilty allouance and got it... he gets high rate for personal care.. as we change him day and night .. and all the money goes on his pants.. bedding shoes bottoms any thing that needs replaceing from being soiled.. we did the hole pull ups thing... nite mare didnt work made him wee and poo so no good there although the school said they would not take him with out a pull up .. i still sent him in with a care plan of every 30 mins checks.. i asked them to just discrewatly smell near him and also to propt him every 30 mins to go to the toilet... also for school hes been put on to a program for special needs and has helpers just for him in school to help him change and prompt him ...

[krazykat27]

also sorry to be a pain ... i must say ... dont punish ur child for this... theres a reason behind it weather medical or emotional ect... and this will just make things worse... causes low self esteem confidence ect... i make no big deal at all bout this issue... i dont want him to feel like hes ashamed ectt... ive spoke to him about it all calmly ectt.. we chat all the time and even had books that talk about poo and where the poo has to go ectt... i was told my son has constipation and build up... the hospitals use to admit him then give him enemours then start him on medication called pediatric movical... this for is never worked but i no alot of people is has. also my community nurse helped us to understand how the bowels work realllly well.. if you can get a community nurse then ask they are great .. or an incontinence nurse.. all your docters should be able to refer you ...

[Rachael1985]

I have a son who "had" encopresis. It started shortly after trying to potty train when he was 3 yrs old. I put potty training off for a while and then when he seemed ready again, we accomplished it. But then started the holdings. Mainly to do with the fact that he had more important "things" to do ~ like playing. Well I did some research and started with flaxseed in all-fruit smoothies, totally changed his diet to much more healthy, but to no avail. He still had encopresis. I found dairy products to also be a trigger to set him off. So I switched him to soymilk and watched his dairy intake, though he loves cheese. This helped somewhat and I was now giving him flaxseed oil in all-fruit smoothies. When I took him in for his 5 yr well check, his Dr chided me for switching him to soymilk and told me he could develop osteoporosis if I didn't give him milk. I told him about his encopresis and he told me to put him on Miralax. I researched Miralax and Dulcolax and decided against it. But I did go home and gave him milk. He immediately got plugged up again, confirming the fact that milk is a major culprit besides him training his muscles to "hold it." We would spend SO MANY hours in the bathroom when he would go for 2-3 to 5 days without having a BM. I switched him back to soymilk. My sister suggested YoPlait YoPlus yogurt since it had probiotics. We tried it and it seemed to work and get him regular. Well, he tired of having to have a yogurt everyday, so I did more research about probiotics and found a chewable probiotic children's pill that he now takes once a day, at bedtime and it's NIGHT AND DAY in the difference. He is now regular and has been for 1 yr. It is such a relief to know our problem is solved. The pill is made by Nature's Way and is called Primadophilus Kids and it's carried by Sprouts and SunFlower Market where I live, but you can call them and find out if they sell it near you. 1-800-9NATURE. I thought he was going to have to live with this problem for the rest of his life but thank goodness I found out about this after only 3 yrs, which is still a long time to have to have dealt with it. I'm hoping this information helps someone else out there besides resorting to a drug that doesn't really treat the problem but just makes a person have to go to the bathroom. I am in no way affiliated with Nature's Way and I'm sure there are other probiotic chewables out there for kids. Just hoping someone else reads this and gives it a try if your child is suffering from this problem. It worked for us and hopefully it will work for you.

[keifvdjep]

Greetings dear brave moms,  my 10 yr. old grandson is all of the above. As far as I remember, he has never been regular.  One thing I know is that the family has a S.A.D. diet, meaning standard American diet,  which consists of pop tarts for breakfast, chicken nuggets for lunch, and pizza for dinner.  I don't think a human body can be normal without proper  vegetables, meats, grains, anf fruits.  They are trying that powder stuff from the doc but to no avail.    I can hardly have him over as little pieces of poo gets all over the house, and other grandchildren actually put it in their mouth. Of  course the dog loves to ear the stuff. Oh well.  I feel your pain and am concerned.  I would love to say it is only a food issue, but of course it isn't or else everyone in the family would have it. But I think for him, personally, if his food was monitered, it would help. Thanks for your nuggets of wisdom and experience.  

[rockymill]

haven't been on this forum for a while but just wanted to update. I can't comment on anything to do with autism or other family trauma... all I can say is finally after nearly 4-5 years I feel I have the situation under control! It was a combination of factors.. the child psych I saw connvincing me it was manipulative and hence how to deal with that.. stickers, mini gifts etc and also over the summer holidays she was not allowed in the swimming pool until she had pooed that day. (as if by magic she always managed in by 9.00am!) and getting the movicol dosage correct from my consultant. This has definitely improved (and virtually cured) the situation. From regularly pooing/heavily staining in her pants maybe 3-4 times a day we are now perhaps on a very small stain once every 10 days. When I read back my posts from June I would never ever have believed this was possible. I don't feel movicol alone would have solved it, nor the child psych (which only I saw) but the combination of the two has led to this situation. Good luck its a horrible problem cos its so anti social but my child psych says its on the increase in Western society!!!!

[Krazykat28]

My sons 9  will be 10 in march we have a happy home and life I get told I'm a saint for my calmness there seems to be no reason why my son should be soiling but he dose .. I've been battling since potty training to get him clean we've been to hospitals and clinics and top specialists with no change I've learnt to relax about it and ways to be discreate when out like taking a bag full of spare pants an wipes ect I've had to pretend I've had dog poo on my shoe as well as people on the bus could smell it once it's tuff for the family but harder for the child they lie that they've done it because there ashamed so I try not to put my son in that situation an just get on with it or say go clean your self then quickly change the subject while guiding him to the toilet when my son had his bowels looked at in a little operation I was told his bowels where stretched and caused loss of feeling due to years of
constipation  there is help like disability allowance to help fund pants wipes ect and incontinence nurse helps for support we will all get there I just feel you need to keep calm ignore everyone elses silly comments.

[moodywife]

My son is 7 almost 8 and he still pees and poops everyday. I have taken him to the doc, I have taken him to a therapist,I have done EVERYTHING i possibly can! I am so stressed out from it. He does it at school,home,friends etc. Every time I  ask him why he does it he says I know I am in trouble,or I am grounded,and he says hes lazy. I have taken him to different doctors,he says he cant feel going in his pants, I don't believe him. He cleans out his own underwear and showers and stuff every time,but I have no idea what to do. I have put him in pull ups so he isn't embarrassed at school or at friends houses,He is such a good kid. If he were to stop peeing and pooping in his pants that would be awesome. My husband and I argue about what to do all the time,I say let it go,he gets him in trouble. I have 2 other kids and I go to school full time. I am so lost and have NO idea what to do! Help!

[trubbledmom]

I have read all of these posts and I can see a simiularty to what we are going through, the only thing is my son is 10 and he did not suffer any severe constipation and has not been doing it for longer than about 6 months maybe a little more I understand the issues it can cause between family members and just recently we had children and family services called on us because of this issue I am at my witts end I have tried almost everything I can I don't know what to do I do not have insurance to take him to the dr or a shrink I am lost and do not get why he just will sit there and not realize it till we smell it and than comes up with a exscuse of oh I wet farted can someone help?

[arekgb]

Hey guys I haven't been on here for awhile, but nothing has changed at our house.  The "pooping problem" as we call it is still in full force.  My son is 10 now and will be going to middle school next August.  I don't know what to do.  i am so worried about him going to middle school with this issue.  I have same problem with my husband wanting to punish him and really I don't blame him but I can't bring myself to do so.  It just gets so frustrating when he is smelling and acts like everything is just fine and i have to tell him to go clean up and then he lies about cleaning hisself.  I was making him clean out his own soiled clothing outside in a bucket of warm soapy water, but now that it is winter time I can't do that.  Most of the time I just end up throwing them away.  I am so tired of it..........