Labeling Step Father/Father

[Donna4711]

My husband has a 2 1/2 year old son who lives a distance away. He sees him as often as he can which winds up to be once a quarter. He calls every night at the same time, and is as active as his son's mom allows him to be. Over the last 6 months it has come to my husbands attention that his son's mother is now refering to her new husband as "daddy." The step father has been around for nearly 1 1/2 years and has a child of his own living in their home. Ever since they got married, the mother and step father refer to the step father as "daddy." So when my husband (his real father)visits or gets on the phone, the little one is confused. According to the mother, she has been advised by mental health Drs. and Psychologists to not correct her son, that this is ok. But my husband's little boy is coming into an age that is crucial and he is old enough to begin understanding and associating. What would you advise in this situation? Should someone be teaching him and explaining to him the truth? Thanks

[supermomma531]

yes someone needs to tell him the truth and answer any questions that he may have at any time. I went through the same thing with my daughter who met her father when she was 2 yrs old. She had been already calling my husband of 1.5 yrs "daddy". I explained to her as best as I could to her why she had a father and a step dad. Now mind you,her father was only involved with her from the age of 2 til 5 yrs old. Her step father has never left for even 1 day. She is now 10 yrs old.whenever she asks a question, I am completely honest with her in answering her. If I don't know why, then I tell her that I don't know. To be honest with you, she hasn't asked about her father in about 2-3 yrs. But she'll ask about her other family like her cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. I hope this helps you out. Be as honest as possible. He'll respect you in the end for the honesty.