Listening and obeying issues

[Villa300]

Our daughter who is 8 years old has a hard time listening and obeying.  For example, when we ask her to get ready for bed or to come to the table because it is time to eat, she does not do it right away.  She keeps on playing or whatever she's doing like she's ignoring us.  Usually we have to repeat what we have asked her to do several times and only when get upset is when she obeys.  

My husband and I get frustrated about this because we see that other children her age listen and obey her parents.   Our daughter says she doesn't do it on purpose.  She is very smart and gets good grades at school.  It seems that her listening and obeying problem is only at home.  She also talks back to us when we reprimand her.  I usually take away things from her or ground her for a day when she disobeys or talks back to us, but her behavior still persists.  We feel we are good parents to her and her brother, we give them attention and spend a lot of time together as a family.  How can we get her to be more obedient, repectful and to follow our rules?   I want to correct this problem now that she is still young and not when she's a teenager.  

[Villa300]

Thank you for your comments on my post.  It's good to learn how other moms handle situations like mine.  Thank you for your advice.  I'll keep you posted and how everything goes around here.  

[stacynryan]

Bless your heart.....I am going through the exact same thing with my daughter.  As I was reading your comment I thought "Sounds like our house".  I think "Rucnfun" advise is great.  I had a situation with my daughter the other day where she was backtalking me something nasty and I am used to giving the 1-2-3 warning before punishment, which I think she has outgrown because she is very smart and persistant, so I gave her one warning and told her to apoligise for her behavior, she back talked again.  I told her she was grounded for the evening from her friends.  She didnt beleive me until we pulled into our driveway, saw the neighbor kids playing outside and begged and pleaded with me.  I stuck to it and dealt with all the drama that came with it and she was good for a couple days.  She is consistant but I think its a growing adjustment and you should be over it soon.....hang in there....Im right with ya!!!!!

[Rucnfun]

So my advice to you about the dinner issue, is to tell her when dinner is ready. then say 'dinner is up at 7pm', and since she is 8 she knows how to tell time and then when 7pm sharp comes take away her plate and thats it, no second chances. she will learn to get her dinner done by 7pm at the table, or she doesn't get dinner. tell her ONCE that dinner is ready and done being served at 7, you don't need to keep reminding her, she already knows dinner is ready. and you are wasting your energy by having to remind her when she doesn't need it. so no repeating that dinner is ready and to hurry up. also if you have already corrected her once on her back talking ( or disciplined her ) then you don't need to KEEP disciplining her during the same period. meaning if she says something naughty then you say ok no tv for tonight and then she keeps backtalking, dont keep saying ok no tv tomorrow either. just give her the discipline once, and if she starts back talking just say 'i know' or whatever you choose, but keep it persistent and the same words. that way your not arguing back and forth. so if she says that's not fair, i dont want to do that, or whatever it is just say 'i know' EVERY TIME. otherwise it will be an arguing battle and you won't win!! be very calm, no yelling, and be consistent!! good luck