My 6 yr old won't listen to me!!! I dont know what to do!!

I have a 6yr old and 1 on the way. I'm stressing out because my daughter doesnt listen to me and misbehaves. She's also becoming a liar. I ask her if she did something and she lies to me with a straight face. I have to ask her numerous times to do something before she even does it: pick up your toys, change your uniform, do your homework, take a shower, go to sleep. I have tried grounding, no tv, no video games, stay in the room. NOTHING WORKS!! My fiance advices a spanking because thats how him and his whole family were raised. To get "spanked" when they would misbehave, but I was raised a whole different way. I was a problem child myself as a youngster, but I was never spanked so I'm thinking what if I do spank her, would she listen??? UUUUGHHH ready to pull my hair out!! Can someone plz HELP!! Willing to hear any advice!!!

[specialmom]

Well, I try to approach parenthood and mothering in the most posative way possible.  Disipline is to teach and guide-----  spanking or hitting is teaching what?  To hit.  So I am not a big fan.

Think about your daughter.  Does she need more transition time and perhaps a 5 minute warning.  5 more minutes and then we are changing for bed.  one minute left.  Okay, 5 minutes is up, lets get changed now.  Calmly delivered.  Choices work well too----  do you want to change clothes now or do you want to play for 5 minutes and then change?

I'd give her a dose of what she does right----  praise her for everything she does right.  Talk to her like she is your little helper and thank her profusely when she helps you out by doing as you ask.  

You've got a new one on the way and she may be jealous.  Expect this.  That is a huge change for her!!!  Have a plan to combat this with extra attention and reassurance that she will always be your baby too.

And lying is a developmental stage-----  it is self protection.  It is to be discouraged but you should know it is normal and prevalent for kids her age.  

Catch her doing things right, spend quality time with her, give her posative feedback.  Good luck