pre teen

[charmed1975]

I am a single mother of a 12 year old boy ( soon to be 13)  I have access to his email and web activities, lately i have found he has been trying to access porn. ( he says he wants to see what a naked girl looks like) I have tried to explain to him that this (porn) is not right as they get paid to do this.  but that there is nothing wrong with him.  I also have a hard time getting him to do chores and simple things like cleaning his room or putting the dishes in the dishwasher.  As it is just myself and him  I do ask him to do yardwork but he is 12 and is old enough I have tried to take away his playstaion I have taken the computer away and locked the tv down, for attitude and not doind his chores, he does get these back after he has completed the chores without fighting with me about it for 2 weeks, but i end up taking them away.  he is hard to focus on anything for more than 30 mins then he gets board and goes and does something else.  When we do fight I need to walk away to cool down but he will not stop.   do not want the next years a living hell as I do love him dearly, there is no father in the picture.  I try to keep him as busy as possible for if i do not he can get into trouble so he plays alot of sports.  any suggeustions to make the next few years easier

[jesslee83]

margy pretty much nailed it!
when my Df and i lived in KY, i had installed and paid for a "service" that would allow any keystrokes on my computer be emailed to me....i did this at 1st b/c we had a married couple(friends of his) living with us, and although my comp was pw protected, i knew people were using it, and df didnt know my pw....well, with the service, i was able to learn quite a few things, that also helped me gain the courage to kick them the h*ll outta my house....i had meant to unsubscribe from the svc when they left, but since my stepdaughter liked to use the 'net for disney, cartoon network etc, i left it on....she was/is younger than your son, and for me it wasn't so much seeing what she was doing, it was seeing who was talking to her, as we had aol, and even though the parental controls technically disallowed anyone over 10 yrs ttt her, you never know when someone may sign on with an underage acct intentionally.....idk if this is something you'd want to do, and if anything, you don't have to check it constantly, but you have the ability to every once in a while, see who's he talking to and what's being said to/by him.....

[margypops]

PS  Make sure the PC is in the Living room or Den not his in the Bedroom it is harder then and Parents should see what is going on there.

[margypops]

You seem to have a handle on how to deal with it, its possible he has friends that look at the "Porn" and he is copying, With so much Tech stuff its hard to keep an eye on it, can you block it I think you can check it out then he wont have access to it. The lots of sports is a very good thing in his life the more the Merrier, get him worn out!!