should we retain just for maturity???

[jtsbm4]

I have boy/girl twins they turned 7 in Nov. and are in the 2nd grade, they are 6mo behind their peers in age. They were both going to repeat the 2nd grade due to maturity reasons but now with 30 days left of the school year, my son is already doing 3rd grade work and is the top of his class. My daughter is doing 2nd grade work and is making progress at a slower rate. the problem is my son is going on to the 3rd grade and the school and I are trying to decide about my daughter. She is acting more like a first grader when it comes to her peers and school and at home. She crys about everything and is very shy to where she wont participate in fear of being made fun of. she is seeking attention anyway she can get it. She has stumped my husband and I for she got rid of all her toys except a few things, she chucked them outside her bedroom door and told me to sell them they are to babieish for her. We do not let her watch the tv programs that are not for her age but she is trying to be older than what she is and in the process looking and acting more younger without relizing it. She will not take my opinion on anything as far as clothes and toys and what to do. If I try and help her decide she will choose the opposite of what I have chose. I wanted to try and give somekind of insight to how she is. but my question is should we hold her back a year while her twin brother goes ahead.  mentally she is more like a first grader in my eyes but she is holding her own with school work and she is just as big as her peers. I do not want to ruin her self confidence anymore than for somereason it is. what is your opinion on this? Thanks

[babygirl6152]

I know a principal who actually held his boy back in kindergarten to repeat a year. It helped him mature.....

I know it must be more difficult letting one of the twins go on but I can only explain this way:
If one were ill and the other were not could imagine this scenario?

Well you both need penicillin injections because Gloria is ill with bronchitis.... surely the boy will say- why do I need medication just because my sister is ill?

And you wouldn't withhold the medication so as not to make the girl feel as if she were  healthy if she were not- I know this would be more long term- them feeling as if they are not together but at least they are not identical twins. That would make it a bit tougher I believe.
The other extreme would be to keep them both behind to repeat the grade- that certainly won't hurt the boy too much.... What were their academic skills like in K and 1st grade?  I think you said they were both immature earlier this year?

I have a boy/girl twin in my preschool class and it's hard not to compare them, she is a bit more mature academically. They are also very close. In my gut I can't see them separated just because of that, but I don't think it would be devastating either.