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Single woman wanting kids who lie to men about being on the pill
In October 2012, my husband was contacted by a woman who he had met 3 times, (4-8 weeks prior to meeting me), saying that she was pregnant and she believed him to be the father. They were not in any kind of “relationship”. It was basically, a one-night stand. When they slept together, he clearly remembers her telling him she was on the pill.
She wanted to catch up with him a little while after they slept together, but he apologised and explained that he already had plans with some friends that night. He wasn’t simply fobbing her off, he was genuinely busy. She went crazy and sent him over 80 texts of abuse. She told him that she should be his “priority” and started acting very possessive. He very quickly came to the conclusion that something wasn’t right with her. He tried to pacify her, politely suggesting they just be friends and not see each other in an intimate capacity again. She continued to contact him over the span of the next 2-3 weeks wanting to catch up again, and he politely declined.
Let me make this clear. I don’t see my husband through rose-coloured glasses but he husband made a huge mistake in sleeping with this woman and believing her when she said she was on the pill and having unprotected sex with her. His guilt regarding this situation plagues him – and he doesn’t even know if it’s true. He is not a guy that goes around “picking up” women or sleeping around. He was searching for a woman he could spend the rest of his life with. He had the house, the good job, the dog – he was just missing the woman. He is a kind-hearted guy, intelligent, sensitive and romantic, successful in his job and personal businesses. He us respectful to everyone he meets, diplomatic and very generous. He was bought up wonderfully by a fantastic family who sent him to an excellent school. He is a guy that everyone adores, most of all me. He treats me like a princess and we have an amazing, close relationship and bond.
When this woman told him she was pregnant – she waited to tell him when she was too far enough along (3-4 months) to consider the option of a termination. He asked her how this had happened, as she stated to him she was on the pill. Strangely enough, she denied ever saying that him and said she wasn’t on the pill at all.
He also explained in that phone call that he had met me and we were planning a future together. She was quite unemotional and agreed that she would not involve him any further in the situation and would not put his name on any documentation, Birth Certificate or Child Support application. He was going to have a legal contract drawn up to reflect this discussion, but after he sought legal advice, he was advised there was no reason to go ahead with such a contract, given there was no DNA evidence to prove he was the father. My husband emailed her several times to confirm all these discussions, but she refused to reply to his questions, or comment or confirm the any points of their discussions.
The fact that she left it so late in the peace to tell him she was pregnant and the fact that she didn’t reply to any emails, was the start of where the situation started sounding a bit “fishy”.
For over 7 months, we have been through an emotional hell not knowing the truth. The impact it has had on my physical and mental health has been very extreme. We have spent a lot of money on medication, psychological counseling, doctors’ visits and had time of work and unable to focus on our personal businesses. But we don’t even know yet if he is the father of her child, whether she planned to get pregnant, or just doing this to us as payback for being rejected.
In March, my partner received a call from the Department of Human Services, saying a child was born and Child Support Application made in his name. They gave him the name of the child and its date of birth. They made a mistake giving him this information, as they thought he was already aware. He didn’t want to know.
Not that this makes any difference, as a child can’t be planned to be born on any given day as such, but this baby was born on our wedding day.
He then received a notice from Births Deaths and Marriages with him stated as the father of the child on its Birth Certificate. He wrote back declining this, due to there being no evidence he was the father.
My husband telephoned her to ask why she was proceeding this way after she said she wasn’t going to. She told my husband that her child was born 6 weeks premature, but told all her friends it was born 7 weeks premature. Unsure why there would be this discrepancy.
There is a chance that this child could be fathered by my husband if due date made at her first ultrasound was an incorrect date, but he stopped seeing her at the end of July. If the baby was born 6 or 7 weeks premature, the conception date would have been 2-4 of weeks AFTER they were intimate. The first ultrasound can be 1-2 weeks out, but not quite 3-4weeks.
Another interesting point is that she got his date of birth (for Centrelink and Birth Certificate documents) from his Facebook page, 2-4 weeks before she even told him she was pregnant.
Even though she had never been to his house, she knew where he lived, as early on, he had messaged her real estate link to the house he had just bought.
She adopted the services of Legal Aid for the purpose of gaining Centrelink benefits and he had to pay for a DNA test. His DNA test is now done and the turn-around is 10 days for results to come back (after all DNA samples are submitted).
From a legal point of view, a woman is not held responsible for her actions if she incorrectly targets a man to be the father of her child. Further, most women know who they sleep with and when. Women know from their first ultrasound the estimated conception date/s, so if a woman incorrectly targets one man when the child could be someone else’s, is beyond words.
My partner suffers from a lot of guilt himself and also seeing how stressed I get about the situation. He admits that it was the biggest mistake of his life not using contraception with this woman.
The innocent victim here is the child. No child should be bought into this world under misleading and deceptive circumstances, out of laziness, money or selfish beliefs of a single mother.
At the end of the day, my husband is steadfast that the results of this test are only going to affect us financially if the DNA test comes back positive. The Government will take quite a lot of money out of his pay and we have to budget our lives around it. He wants nothing to do with this situation, should he be proven to be the father. That is his personal choice and he stands by it with such certainty, even though I have raised points about the possibility of having shared custody of the child.
Though, if it comes back negative, it’s devastating that we have been dragged into 7 months or more of extreme stress and the impact it has had on what was supposed to be the happiest time of our lives. That’s something we can never get back. All because of this woman’s lies, both of their stupidity, and her vindictiveness.
Now all we can do now is wait for this women to submit the DNA samples. Waiting, waiting.... Legal Aid or the DNA testing company cannot advise when this is going to happen. So until we get the result, we continue to remain in limbo.
More single men need to be aware of these circumstances. The affect it has on their lives, the lives of their loved ones, the potential financial burden, the months and months of stress associated with waiting to find the truth, the Government benefits available to single mothers, Child Support amounts and the lack of legal rights a man has when he is a) duped into paying for a child that is either not his, or b) made a victim of false alleged paternity.
She wanted to catch up with him a little while after they slept together, but he apologised and explained that he already had plans with some friends that night. He wasn’t simply fobbing her off, he was genuinely busy. She went crazy and sent him over 80 texts of abuse. She told him that she should be his “priority” and started acting very possessive. He very quickly came to the conclusion that something wasn’t right with her. He tried to pacify her, politely suggesting they just be friends and not see each other in an intimate capacity again. She continued to contact him over the span of the next 2-3 weeks wanting to catch up again, and he politely declined.
Let me make this clear. I don’t see my husband through rose-coloured glasses but he husband made a huge mistake in sleeping with this woman and believing her when she said she was on the pill and having unprotected sex with her. His guilt regarding this situation plagues him – and he doesn’t even know if it’s true. He is not a guy that goes around “picking up” women or sleeping around. He was searching for a woman he could spend the rest of his life with. He had the house, the good job, the dog – he was just missing the woman. He is a kind-hearted guy, intelligent, sensitive and romantic, successful in his job and personal businesses. He us respectful to everyone he meets, diplomatic and very generous. He was bought up wonderfully by a fantastic family who sent him to an excellent school. He is a guy that everyone adores, most of all me. He treats me like a princess and we have an amazing, close relationship and bond.
When this woman told him she was pregnant – she waited to tell him when she was too far enough along (3-4 months) to consider the option of a termination. He asked her how this had happened, as she stated to him she was on the pill. Strangely enough, she denied ever saying that him and said she wasn’t on the pill at all.
He also explained in that phone call that he had met me and we were planning a future together. She was quite unemotional and agreed that she would not involve him any further in the situation and would not put his name on any documentation, Birth Certificate or Child Support application. He was going to have a legal contract drawn up to reflect this discussion, but after he sought legal advice, he was advised there was no reason to go ahead with such a contract, given there was no DNA evidence to prove he was the father. My husband emailed her several times to confirm all these discussions, but she refused to reply to his questions, or comment or confirm the any points of their discussions.
The fact that she left it so late in the peace to tell him she was pregnant and the fact that she didn’t reply to any emails, was the start of where the situation started sounding a bit “fishy”.
For over 7 months, we have been through an emotional hell not knowing the truth. The impact it has had on my physical and mental health has been very extreme. We have spent a lot of money on medication, psychological counseling, doctors’ visits and had time of work and unable to focus on our personal businesses. But we don’t even know yet if he is the father of her child, whether she planned to get pregnant, or just doing this to us as payback for being rejected.
In March, my partner received a call from the Department of Human Services, saying a child was born and Child Support Application made in his name. They gave him the name of the child and its date of birth. They made a mistake giving him this information, as they thought he was already aware. He didn’t want to know.
Not that this makes any difference, as a child can’t be planned to be born on any given day as such, but this baby was born on our wedding day.
He then received a notice from Births Deaths and Marriages with him stated as the father of the child on its Birth Certificate. He wrote back declining this, due to there being no evidence he was the father.
My husband telephoned her to ask why she was proceeding this way after she said she wasn’t going to. She told my husband that her child was born 6 weeks premature, but told all her friends it was born 7 weeks premature. Unsure why there would be this discrepancy.
There is a chance that this child could be fathered by my husband if due date made at her first ultrasound was an incorrect date, but he stopped seeing her at the end of July. If the baby was born 6 or 7 weeks premature, the conception date would have been 2-4 of weeks AFTER they were intimate. The first ultrasound can be 1-2 weeks out, but not quite 3-4weeks.
Another interesting point is that she got his date of birth (for Centrelink and Birth Certificate documents) from his Facebook page, 2-4 weeks before she even told him she was pregnant.
Even though she had never been to his house, she knew where he lived, as early on, he had messaged her real estate link to the house he had just bought.
She adopted the services of Legal Aid for the purpose of gaining Centrelink benefits and he had to pay for a DNA test. His DNA test is now done and the turn-around is 10 days for results to come back (after all DNA samples are submitted).
From a legal point of view, a woman is not held responsible for her actions if she incorrectly targets a man to be the father of her child. Further, most women know who they sleep with and when. Women know from their first ultrasound the estimated conception date/s, so if a woman incorrectly targets one man when the child could be someone else’s, is beyond words.
My partner suffers from a lot of guilt himself and also seeing how stressed I get about the situation. He admits that it was the biggest mistake of his life not using contraception with this woman.
The innocent victim here is the child. No child should be bought into this world under misleading and deceptive circumstances, out of laziness, money or selfish beliefs of a single mother.
At the end of the day, my husband is steadfast that the results of this test are only going to affect us financially if the DNA test comes back positive. The Government will take quite a lot of money out of his pay and we have to budget our lives around it. He wants nothing to do with this situation, should he be proven to be the father. That is his personal choice and he stands by it with such certainty, even though I have raised points about the possibility of having shared custody of the child.
Though, if it comes back negative, it’s devastating that we have been dragged into 7 months or more of extreme stress and the impact it has had on what was supposed to be the happiest time of our lives. That’s something we can never get back. All because of this woman’s lies, both of their stupidity, and her vindictiveness.
Now all we can do now is wait for this women to submit the DNA samples. Waiting, waiting.... Legal Aid or the DNA testing company cannot advise when this is going to happen. So until we get the result, we continue to remain in limbo.
More single men need to be aware of these circumstances. The affect it has on their lives, the lives of their loved ones, the potential financial burden, the months and months of stress associated with waiting to find the truth, the Government benefits available to single mothers, Child Support amounts and the lack of legal rights a man has when he is a) duped into paying for a child that is either not his, or b) made a victim of false alleged paternity.
Then again I know a man who knowingly got a girl pregnant then turned around and said she lied about being on the injection when she never she was alone through her abortion because everyone thought she was a liar when it turns out he just wanted to sleep with the next teenager. The poor girls life has never been the same. Really want to know the results of the DNA results truly hope it went in your favor!
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