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Should I allow my daughter to visit her mother in jail?
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Should I allow my daughter to visit her mother in jail?

My wife, who is also mother of my fourteen year old is in jail for six months for a financial crime. I am willing to stick by her and not leave her because I feel She made some stupid mistakes but it was out of character so I think she just got herself into a bad situation and make some poor decisions, She also never did anything bad at all before this And I am not defending her or saying she should not serve her punishment. I told my daughter we should be glad her mother is serving time for her actions. Doing the right thing for her mistakes. Also, her mother is showing regret and no defense at what she did . I am thinking of letting my daughter visit her and have her still be involved with her child because she was never an absent or abusive parent or anything. Some might say sticking by her is being enabling but I just cannot agree

I was thinking of allowing my daughter to visit her. But I am not sure if I should because I don't think my daughter to be exposed to a prison environment. It is nothing to do with the mother is solely the environment. Also I hear it is a hassle to get in and you don't even get much time to speak. Seeing her mom there might be a bad image

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My daughter seems to be taking it fine , I asked her about visiting and she said she would like to. I asked about the environment and she said actually it might be interesting to see the inside of a jail and how it operates and how guards work. While I think it is good she has an interest in this side of law enforcement, that doesn't necessarily still mean it is a good idea to take her. It might still be too scary

she also said it is kind of cool that her mother is locked up and is now the one being ordered around by others. This is weird because she never had a bad relationship with her mother. I asked what she meant and she said she was just joking. I think that is OK to try to crack a joke to make the situation feel less bad and that a better way of handing the situation instead of being hysterical about it


If I do allow her what should I tell her in advance to prepare her? Is it a good idea for her to ask her mother questions about all this?
3 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_m_tn
At 14 she is old enough to understand and make up her own mind.  If she is willing to go, don't make her wait 6 months to see her mother. I'm sure this is very hard on the whole family. But going to visit regularly could really help.
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Avatar_f_tn
Yes, I would actually encourage her to visit and to be part of her mothers life in a way so when she returns your and her daugher can be joined again as a family.
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4851940_tn?1385441629
You should allow your daughter to see her mother.

You are trying to protect your daughter to see the world through rose tinted glasses.   Your daughter has said to you that she would like to see her mother, and is interested in the prison environment.  That is fine.

I do not know the policy of prisons where you live, so you will have to find out the process of prison visitors.  Your wife may have to request or agree the visit, so speak with your wife and find out from the service about visiting, the days and times and about children visiting.

As this was a situation that your wife had not been in before, it is likely that the compulsion for the financial crime may have been triggered off by her menstrual cycle or a hormonal imbalance.

Many a crime has been committed by women who are suffering from Premenstrual Syndrome.  If that is the case, she may need help from the doctor with regard to her moods and compulsions.

Best wishes.
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