We are "stay at home" self employed parents working from our home - and older parents at that (mid 40's and 50's) Our 4 year old son is our only child, he is very bright, interactive, not shy at all, will address adults in an appropriate manner (hello my name is... what's yours, handshakes, please and thank yous) - and he was home with us until last fall when we enrolled him in a parochial school in their 1/2 day pre-k program. There are no other children in our neighborhood, no daycare experience prior to entering pre-k. His reports come back that he is academically advanced, but socially behind in that he does not transistion well from one task to the next (regimented class with activities scheduled throughout the morning), he usually lags behind to move on, has acted inappropriately as far as wanting his way, and wanting the other children to do what he is doing, has stuck up for his friend when the bully in the class picked on him - then got into trouble when he defended his friend by pushing back, sometimes is agressive, or frustrated, single-minded, and sometimes will not participate with the group, sometimes he's moody, and will cry. He has been identified as being high energy, and may not be accepted to return next year because the school thinks he is too active, agressive, independent, yada yada - he is a handful. He is demanding, he is articulate, he is 4. Am I wrong? Aren't most 4 year olds self centered? Isn't it all about them? This is a time to LEARN? Any advise on what I should do? Am I wrong in my thinking?
Sounds accurate to me - my 3 year old is all of that (well, without the handshaking). It sounds like he's just not used to being in school and needs some adjustment. Surprising that they'd rather reject him than try and acclimate him. How dare you raise a polite and independant child! I'd recommend trying another program that is a little more relaxed so he can learn to have a schedule without being labeled as a problem child.
Is there any way that you can get him more play time with younger children? I ask this for children who do play a lot with others do have a different social aptitude....nothing wrong with you raising him to be a polite gentleman that is wonderful---just sometimes having a lot more interaction with other people his age make adjustments easier. I have two boys who at school are better behaved than at home...the school they go to has intervals of like 15 to 20 minute projects and then they switch to something else. This preschool is not very regimented--they teach through play and involvment--love it...it is not just sit there and listen to teacher or learn what she is writing on the board. And maybe the school should look at how they teach versus how one child makes them change..they are going to be missing out on a wonderful young person who could enlighten them on how advanced he may be. Sometimes children act out or do display behaviors the schools don't like for they are bored and want attention so they can maybe switch to a new project.
i think it is pretty obvious that he is acting the way he does because he is not used to the outside enviornment. like you said, he spent the last 4 years at home with you and your husband where he was the only child. it is going to take a lot more time to get him used to the school enviornment. he is not used to being one of however many kids are in the class and probably doesnt understand why the teacher isn't following him around asking him what he wants to do. ya know? i think it is rediculous that the school doesn't take this into consideration before "not wlcoming him back next year". like the other poster said, why wouldnt they give him a chance to acclimate himself into this new enviornment. most 4 year olds by this point would have had more social interaction though, so it is possible that the school itself is not quite sure how to deal with this type of situation. i would sit down and have a meeting or two with the school director and your son's teacher/teachers to better discuss his specific needs and how next year would be handled, if he does return next year.
My daughter began preschool last fall at nearly 5 years of age. She attends 3 hours per day, 5 days per week. This has been her first introduction into the "school world" because like you, we own our own business and work from home. She has transitioned beautifully and loves school, so I don't believe the sheer fact that your son has been home has been a detriment or is necessarily the cause for concern. It certainly could be the type of learning environment. I recommend talking to the school and seeing what actions they recommend. I find it odd they would suggest turning him away next year without actively trying to work with you. If they are really set on only having "stepford" children at their school, it may be wise to switch schools.
my 4 year old son began preschool for the first time last month and is having a difficult time with the transition. he sounds much like your son in the behaviors reported from his teacher. one day i became discouraged and his teacher gave me this reminder: the purpose of preschool and kindergarten is to teach our children how to "do school"... how to interact with the other children, listen to the teacher, play on a playground, share... they are not really there to learn abc's and circle time; circle time is a tool to teach these other most important social skills they need to learn for beginning 1st grade. and they continue to refine these skills all the way through 12th grade! please do not be discouraged by your wonderful child's sometimes not-so-wonderful behavior. enlighten his teacher or seek a new school. good luck!
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