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Daycare right or wrong?
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Daycare right or wrong?

My husband is in the navy, so we tend to move around a lot.  We have a 2 1/2 year old who has recently become "fully" potty trained. meaning he will now let you know when he has to use the potty,and he will walk away from the activity he is doing to use the potty. We recently moved and  he has been at this daycare for 2 weeks. Their policy is that they can't follow a child into the bathroom when they are using it, and he has to wipe himself when he goes #2. I find this ABSURD because they don't help him transition, since he has never wiped himself before. He has come home for the last 2 days dirty (underwear full of poop from improper wiping) which has resulted in a very bad rash. To me this resembles child NEGLECT and ABUSE. They say there is nothing they can do, and for me to teach him at home how to wipe himself. DUH but again he is ONLY 2. Are they right or wrong? Does anyone else's daycare have this ridiculous policy?
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8 Comments Post a Comment
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973741_tn?1342346373
Well, first.  Your son is not fully potty trained if he can not use the potty independently.  And second, they can't be wrong if this is their policy.  They've told you up front what their expecation is and it was your choice to place him there.  It may not be a good fit.  

I kind of get their policy to be honest, because in this day and age, accusations are made that 'things' happen in the bathroom and by helping children sit on the potty and wiping them ----  they could be opening up a whole can of worms.  It could be for the children's protection and theirs as well.  But regardless, that is their policy and they state it up front.  

What do they do if a child is in diapers though?  Are they suggesting that you put him in a pull up?  (Again, a child that can't independently go to the potty really isn't potty trained in my opinion.)

Maybe a smaller day care or one in someone's home would be better where they'll tailor things to individual children???  Finding the right fit for your child is most important!!  Good luck (and I'm not really siding with the daycare----  it just doesn't sound like a good place for your son.)
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13167_tn?1327197724
There is a problem with childcare for a 2.5 year old where the primary care provider during the day can't do everything mommy would do.  Kids that age need someone to be a mommy - that is,  can pick them up and kiss their faces if they're crying,  can clean them up after using the toilet or having a toileting accident,  can speak VERY sharply to them and place them in a time out or other corrective measure if they misbehave,  etc.  I've seen posts on this forum where daycares in Canada can't even correct a child, but can only suggest other behaviors the child might be doing than biting another child.  

We've become a bit nuts.  Those who create these policies don't understand children,  plain and simple.  They don't value the role of the mother,  and realize toddlers NEED mothers,  or at least someone who is capable and willing to do all the things a mother does for a preschooler.

I agree with SpecialMom.  At some point your child WILL have a toileting accident,  and then what?  This policy is fine, IMHO,  for a 4 year old but not for a 2 year old.
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377493_tn?1356505749
My son has been in daycare 3 days a week since he was 13 months old.  The first one he was in just wasn't the right place for him (to be honest, I question if it was the right place for any child, but that's another story).  The one he is in now is fabulous, and almost co parent if you will.  They communicate with me on everything, including potty training, and work with the kids in the same manner the parents do (within reason of course).  My opinion on what you are dealing with is this...if they are not going to help children with issues such as this, they should not be accepting children who are not 100% potty trained period.  So yes, I find the policy ridiculous.  I can tell you though, it took a lot of interviewing daycares to find the right place for my child.  It is so worth it as the days I work I know he is happy and well cared for.  He loves it there, the care providers are loving with them, and everytime I drop in he is happily playing.  I would look for another daycare.  I am so happy I did.
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Avatar_f_tn
The daycare's policy is that any child who can verbally tell you when he/she needs to use the potty is then deemed potty trained. Unfortunately I don't have the luxury to find another daycare because this is the only daycare on base within a 10 mile radius. My husband is in the navy and so we use the CDC daycare on base where we live.  My husband and I are beginning to find out that this daycare might not be the right fit. I know they stated their policy upfront, I just don't understand it. Maybe my judgement is clouded because trey is my first and only child. I don't know what their policy is when kids are in diapers, but he is in underwear and doesn't have accidents during the day, so i don't want to go backwards by putting him in a diaper. thanks for you input.
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Avatar_f_tn
I agree. I could see the policy being fine if he was even 3 years old because at that point children should be more independent, but 2 1/2 is pushing it. I mean is it too much to ask to help him wipe himself?
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Avatar_f_tn
Unfortunately we are kind of stuck with the daycare we are currently using because we are in the military, the daycare is on base, and what we pay for care is adjusted to what the military pays us. We were stationed in Monterrey California for a year, and I loved that daycare, I guess we just got really spoiled with how they run things and i assumed since it was a military CDC as well that all CDC's were run like that. I guess I was wrong. Thanks for your response I just wanted to get other people's opinion on the matter.
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377493_tn?1356505749
That really does put you in a tough situation and I'm sorry.  I wish I could be of more help, but I do wish you well in getting the matter resolved.  
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973741_tn?1342346373
I think they are basically saying that they expect kids to be potty trained to attend?  And if they aren't (as in they need help still)----  that they will  not care for them in the bathroom department.  Seems like a backward way of saying that kids must be potty trained to participate in their program.  We have plenty here that will not take kids that aren't potty trained---  although usually more preschool based and at 2.5, you'd not expect every child to be potty trained (and again, I just say not potty trained because your son still requires help)  but they tell you up front in a pretty clear way.

I'd ask around about some in home day care options.  I know that plenty of parents also employ other 'friends' or neighbors to babysit for their children.  Any stay at home moms around you?  Or anyone NOT use this daycare center that you could ask for references?   I'd try to see what other options you can come up with.  Any little community newpapers you can check out to see if there are childcare options listed that are less stringent?

good luck
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