Right age for Enrolling in Kindergarten ??

Hi Friends,

We are from India...and our son was born here in US..He turns 4 years this August 2010.I would like to know....at what age do we enroll kids in Kindergarten ? When do we have to start that process here in US? What are the steps? I would love to get any advices/ tips and information regarding this.!

Thanks !

[specialmom]

Hello . . .  well, here in the states, most public schools accept children that are 5 by September 30.  So he has at least another year of preschool.  I will tell you something though with boys . . .  and you and I have written about our children in the past so I know you have a couple of challenges as I do with  your son. . . that it is okay to send a late summer birthday to school when they turn 6.  Otherwise, your son will be one of the very youngest in his class and that can lead to maturity issues.  My son that is similar to yours has a late December birthday, so we had no choice . . . he went to kindergarten when he was 5 and a half and turning 6 mid year.  If he had a summer birthday . . . I would have kept him another year.  So, in my  opinion you have two years of preschool/pre k left.  They do wonderful things at preschool-------  he could go 5 days or he could go 3 days with an enrichment program.  When you start to enroll your child is usually in the late Winter to early Spring of the year prior to when they are entering.  My younger son will go to kindergarten next year---------  the enrollment process starts in early March.  I think that is pretty typical. But I'd say for your son, you have two school years before he goes.  You want him as mature as possible so he can get off to the best possible start.  good luck!!

[kynjpa]

Hii..thanks so much for the reply..Its a relief he has 2 more years ! Studies-wise..he is sort of ready..like he reads ,counts and writes really well for his age (3.5) etc..but emotional maturity is less..As you said, i fear, he is not ready to face kindergarten ..like following commands , socializing etc..Now its impossible to expect him to sit thru a "class" ...I really hope in 2 years he will be much more ready.
He currently goes to a private school, attends preschool classes(3 days a week ) and 2 days at early intervention classes.But he has not started receiving Behavioral therapy yet, thats what he really needs,training in focus, attention, obedience...he is sweet kid..who never has tantrums...but does not understand thats its important to follow orders :)Once he gets behavioral therapy..I am sure he will develop very soon .When ever I get a chance I take him to play-dates and give him "social training " in my own ways, I am lucky to have friends who help me too :).

Hows your son progressing ? Is he receiving any special services ?I would love to know more about your kids too .

Thanks so much for helping :)

[specialmom]

I think you are on the right track for your little guy.  My son is doing amazingly well.  He started occupational therapy when he was 4.  He had a really rough time in preschool  He DID have meltdowns as well as trouble focasing, sitting, etc.  It really took a toll on him.  We've worked really hard on things with him both socially, expressing himself properly, working to calm his nervous system, etc.  We work on it every single day.  He still does ot once a week.  But at school-----  he is in public kindergarten, he has no extra services.  He is doing so great.  His teacher and the school counselor are well aware of his sensory issues and he has had one bad day this year where they really saw it.  But overall, he is doing fantastic.  He pays attention and his teacher loves how interested he is in everything.  He's learning right on track or above his peers.  He has friends and is one of the guys.  His teacher told me that in terms of expressing his feelings, he is above those in his class.  He uses his words to express when his sensory system is running too high.  I believe all of this was due to early intervention and working with him to fit into his enviroment.  He's very smart, which helps tremendously.  Your son is smart too----------  he will be in the same boat.  
One thing that has really helped with my son is his own motivation.  He WANTED friends, to fit in at school, to get along with his teacher, to do his work, etc.  He desires to be successful.  I think that comes from the years when he was younger and had so much difficulty.  He never wants to feel that way again.  I encourage it as I see how much this helps him achieve what he wants.  Friends for example--------  we talk about being a good friend (the corner stone of having friends is being a good one yourself).  It helps me guide him and have him really take to heart what I am trying to teach him.  

He is only 6 and we have a long way to go . . . but I thought I would share some of our story because I have so much hope for kids that get on the right tract at a young age . ..  Like your son.  Good job mom!!

[kynjpa]

Wow...so cool to hear about your son !! God bless you all !! I am so impressed to hear that he is so motivated , that trail alone will take him a long way ahead !! Thanks for sharing your family's experiences.Its such an inspiration and I have developed a strong faith that soon, my son will be able to achieve many more things too:)

He is already such a happy kid..so many times...strangers have commented that they have not seen such a cheerful kid :).He has started developing much more attachment to people and started showing that he misses them, asks about them when they are not around etc.

He still seems uninterested in kids his own size..he prefers bigger or younger kids..and seems at ease with adults too.But his teachers (they are wonderful with him ) have started noticing much more prompt obedience from him and say he is much more manageable and calmer.His sentences have improved so much. Though he still does not "talk" in class...he is clear with what he needs and obeys much more promptly :)..

I have been applying tips I got from friends I found here on Medhelp and from books I have been reading.

Thanks soo much....
.

[specialmom]

Well, it sounds like you are on the right track with your lovely boy (he really IS cute!)  I'm glad you have in a warm and supportive enviroment.  That helps a lot.  If you find yourself having sensory questions, please don't hesitate to ask.  Lots of behavioral modification things have helped us and the calming activities for his nervous system as well.  I'm always happy to help you.  Have a great day and know that you are really doing a great job with your boy.  I can tell how much you love him.  

[kynjpa]

Thanks so much for the response !

I would love to get help with 2 major behavior issues.One is he does not understand, when we  tell him to lower his voice.This becomes an issue when he is at places like library or Dr office...worse..at preschool..when rest of the kids are still napping and he wakes up earlier..he will sing on top of his lungs...he wont lower his voice

Second , for the last 2-3 months we have seen amazing improvement in his language , communication and command following.But he has become EXTRA clingy to me..wont go with his dad...he loves his dad and they get along very well..but if i leave the room he will come flying behind me..refuses to even go to bed with me...he is STUCK to me..He always has been a good sleeper and sleeps thru the night..but now getting him to sleep is tough..and he has major meltdown when he is asked to sleep without me.He is always near me..when I go to take a shower  he lays down in front of the bathroom door and waits for me to come out.And if he wakes up from a nap and finds I am not at home..he cries a lot and keeps asking for me...no diversions work  !

Could you pls share some tips for these behaviors.

[specialmom]

We have a similar issue with the voice level.  My son does not hear how loud he is and hence his voice creeps up.  His ot uses a number scale-------  level 1 is silent.  level 2 is whisper.  level 3 is normal speaking.  level 4 is outside and play ground.  and level 5 is shouting as in an emergency.  Then she made a book called a "story book", have you heard of those yet.  Story books are often used in autism to illustrate something to a child.  I got one on not speaking out in class from ebay.  There are lists of many story books there and there might even be one on voice level.  Otherwise you can make your own.  simple picture, a number for the level and a couple of words.  So now I say-------  voice level 1 or 2 only when we are going to church.  I will verbally prompt him, with "level 2 please" to remind him if he forgets.  Ironically, his huge elementary school uses the exact same number system for the whole school which was a nice transition for us.  Act out the levels as well so he gets the idea of it and can hear himself what the differences are between whisper and shouting.  

Your second issue is trickier.  That is probably a phase.  I think I would just allow him to be distressed occasionally if you have to leave.  I would try not to worry about it or play into it at all.  For things like taking a shower, put a fun toy that you only get out when you are in the shower out in the room adjacent to the bathroom.  Have a bag of books for him to look at when you are doing something to tempt him to stay put.  Set up a little boundary at times.  For example, while I leave the bathroom door open just because I want to hear what is going on--------  I tell my boys that mommy needs a minute in the bathroom alone.  (and I do . . . we all need a minute alone, right?)  It took a bit but I get my privacy now.  The more of doing this, the more your son will learn to give you a bit of space when you request it.  It is hard I know.  Then you become hyperresponsible and that brings so much pressure if they only want you.  I know it is difficult to leave him with his dad----------  but it is important to do.  Also, dad could set up a fun outing with him.  Special things that just they do.  Leaving the house may be best.  He wakes up from his nap and dad takes him somewhere fun.  

Bedtime is a time when I'm really strict.  I do the bed time routine, of course.  And some kids really like deep pressure before bed-------  so try some of that.  But then I am out of there.  I don't linger at all and I don't give in on some things.  I did briefly a couple of years ago and my son got very off track.  He kept coming into our room and had difficult going to bed.  It works much better for us if I am firm that it is bed time.  Night night and am out of there.  I would say that I had to do something and I'd be right back and take a longer and longer time to come back.  And when I came back I'd say-----  okay, go to sleep.  nightnight.  And leave again.  But I don't know what will work with your boy.  It has been best for us to just be firm and not allow him to sleep with us ever or lay down with him.  

Goodluck

[kynjpa]

Thankss so much for all these info's..I had never heard of "social stories" I am planning to order a few from ebay...and also the night time routine pictures schedule..I hope that will help him..

Abt the issue of him waiting outside the bathroom...is less frequent now a days...but still some days he waits and keeps asking for me...tho he knows I am inside and I will come out soon...I hv tried the book , toy technique..but he carries all the stuff and settles down in front of the bathroom :) He even pushing his magnetic letters , beads etc..from under the bathroom door.:))

Abt the sound technique...i cud not find any thing online to help with this... But..we started something funny..both me and my hubby started whispering..and talking in very low voice and raise our voice only when we have to call out to someone in the next room or downstairs etc..at first he took no notice..but  we noticed that at a couple of  occasions where his voice is high ..he actually continued to sing..but under his breath...very low voice.,..while he talked to us in normal tone..This has been noticed for last 2 days...i don't know if it will continue...but i am glad :) that his singing does not wake up the rest of the napping class..:)
.
Bedtime...we still struggle...if he very tired..its easier ..as is falls asleep quickly...but other days..he cries if i leave the room..in 3 mins I run  back..coz its heart breaking to hear him cry.."i want mommy " ...but i was strict that I would sit on t he chair..while he cud sleep..but he wud get cheerful and active once i was back in..so again..i leave ..he cries.....I come back....phew...anyway after abt 45 mins...he finally was exhausted and slept.But now as winter is almost gone..evening outside playtime will cause him to get tired  soon...so hopefully he will fall alseep easily ! Boys have soo much energy...:)

What is your opinion about the weighted vests etc...he  loves pressure..like rolling on the bed..and games like pushing him on a pile of pillows..etc..do u think he has sensory issues too? He enjoys being pulled around as he lays on a blanket (he calls it vacuum game).He does seems irritated by nightdresses which have zipper on the front and foods which are grainy. Earlier he hated finger painting..but now he enjoys it..

Is it possible that he has some ADHD and some sensory issues too? or its it just a phase?

Thank you soo much :)

[specialmom]

Hi.  First let me just say that I love your family.  You and your husband seem like such a loving team  in parenting and that is so wonderful.  Your boy is lucky to have you both.

The things you describe are sensory (regarding your last paragraph).  My son loves weighted things as well.  We do not own a vest but he will wear one at occupational therapy.  We have weighted things such as a lap pad that is 5 pounds and a neck doggie (looks like a dog) which is a few pounds as well.  I will place the dog on his neck at times if he is sitting and we often put that weighted pad on his lap and rock before bed.  He has slept with it on his chest.  There are ways to make weighted blankets which are suppose to be soothing for sleep.  And the games with pillows and blankets are big hits at my house.   But I would say from your description that your son has some sensory issues along with his other diagnosis. He's little and little ones usually respond very well to ot.  And if you don't do ot and would just like ideas, I can try to help.