Parenting Toddlers (1-5) Community
mom holding sons penis while urniating
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mom holding sons penis while urniating

I have this friend who has a four and a half year old son.  I recently found out every single time he uses the bathroom, she insists on holding his penis for him while he urinates.  She calls this "tip-toeing"; she doesn't want his penis to touch the toilet seat.  I find this very odd and was wondering if it's normal behavior.  
This same boy can't say his ABC's or count and he doesn't dress himself.  He doesn't have any disabilities that would refrain him from doing any of these things himself, either.   Is this normal behavior for his age?
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282524_tn?1348492612
that is gross!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have 2 boys and i would never even think about doing that!!!!!!!!! there is something wrong with ur friend!!!!!!!!!! buy him a step stool if it is that much of a damn problem, gross!!!!!!

he should already know his abcs and 123s before he goes to pre k. if she is holding that  for him then she is probably not letting him dress himself either. if i were u i would really think about calling cps b/c that is really disturbing!
i really hope that he isnt being abused!
good luck!!!
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Avatar_n_tn
Although I find the holding of the penis a bit micro managing, I think cps is VERY EXTREME!  I have four boys and I know not one of them seems to make it in the toilet so I have to admit the idea has crossed my mind a time or two.  I have never actually done that, but when they first learn they always need help with aim.  I agree with Rebecca on the step stool idea.  Also shooting cheerio targets is a great way to help with aiming.

If he cannot count at all or say ANY of his abc's there may be a disability that is not yet apparent due to his young age.  All kids develop at a different rate and what may come quickly for one child, ie my first could say his abc's and count to 20 before his 2nd birthday, may not for another,ie my third is 4.5 and still forgets past lmnop and can't count consecutively past 12.  He is just moving at his own pace.

You would be a good friend if you encouraged your friend and offered help when asked.  But if she's not asking for any help or can not see a problem with her child and her husband isn't seeing a problem, then your best course of action may be to do nothing.  Lots of friendships end because of disagreements over how moms parent differently.  It is not worth that.  
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm sorry, but I do not agree that you should call CPS.  CPS can really do a lot of damage to that family, permantly, and you should take CPS very seriously.  If you feel that something more is going on, and I mean that the child is being molested, than, yes pursue it.  But, if this mother's only conviction is that she is babying her son and holding him back, than no, that would be a very irresponsible thing to do.  I completely agree that this mother isn't doing the right thing, but he is only 4 1/2.  My daughter is 4, and she still needs my assistance often in the restroom.  When we are out in public, I do not let her sit on the toilet.  I actually hover her over the seat.  So, I can see that her concern is legit, but she should probably allow her son to sit to pee (with a lined toilet seat if it's in public).  Maybe you should suggest this to her.  Is it that this little boy can't do these things (dress himself, ABCs, etc.) or he won't?  Does he talk normal for his age and play normal with other kids?  Is he around other kids like in preschool or daycare?  These are a lot of things to consider before saying for sure why he isn't doing these things.  Good luck.
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