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not your ordinary separation anxiety
My daughter, who just turned two, is experiencing extreme separation anxiety.  She has always had difficulty staying with anyone other than me or my husband and has experienced some form of separation anxiety since she was only 8 months old.  Over the past month, it has become drastic.  She only wants "mommy" to hold her at home and will not be put down without a severe tantrum.  She cries all day and becomes extremely emotional at daycare and has recently stopped eating her lunch.  If her teacher cannot hold her at daycare, she asks to go to bed or be put in the corner as if it is a means of escaping.  We have a very peaceful home and healthy marriage.  We were recently involved in a car accident that she does not talk about and are expecting our second child in 4 weeks.  Could either of these have anything to do with her behavior?  As a parent, it is heartbreaking to watch your child go through this and we would love any suggestions on how to help her cope. We have already coached her through this, assured her we are coming back to get her, and talked it over with her teacher.  She does the same thing if we leave her with a sitter at home.
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535822 tn?1443980380
If she has been in day care since she was very small this could indeed be seperation anxiety is there anyway you could be with her more ., she needs you hence she doesnt want you to put her down at home and throws a tantrum, she misses her Mom and the way she wants to go to the bed in day care or put in a corner tells you it all. She may also have picked up on another child coming into the Family and it will exacerbate her feeling of anxiety  As you will be at home soon with a new Baby  is it possible for her to be with you more aswell, it will all change  and she will be happy. The fact she does it with the sitter has the same affect she needs her parents more, they are little for such a short time , you will have many years without her when she is at full time school .
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There is a difference between separation anxiety and separation anxiety disorder.  The second term "separation anxiety disorder" is a mental health issue that usually is inherited at birth and exacerbated by a trauma or a perceived trauma.  I suspect this may be the issue with your child.  Our child suffers from severe anxiety and on hindsight was noticeable the day of her birth.

I might suggest you google the term "anxiety and toddlers" or "separation anxiety disorder" or similar words/phrases to better understand this issue.  If your daughter does indeed suffer from this "disorder", talking will not cure/manage this problem.  Intervention is the most effective method of dealing with anxiety in such a young child (and two years of age is an excellent time to treat and perhaps "cure" this disorder).  If you suspect that your daughter might suffer from this disorder, please contact your pediatrician for advice re intervention or if he/she is not able to do so; ask for a referral to a medical specialist with experience in treating very young children with anxiety issues.  By the way, anxiety is very common in children and the latest research favours very early treatment of young children as treatment tends to be much shorter and easier for everyone.  I wish you the best ....
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535822 tn?1443980380
It would be a good idea if you could also be around her more your post says she needs you, she misses her Mom. It seems" normal" behavior to me if she is crying and wont let you put her down what does your Doctor say?
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Thanks so much for the advice.  I have a call in to her pediatrician and am waiting for him to call me back today.  She is only at school from 9:30 until 2:00 every day and I spend an immense amount of time with her when she gets home.  
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535822 tn?1443980380
(9-30 -2pm is a long time to a child each day , the fact she does not want you to put her down means she misses you, ask your doctor or a counsellor for their opinion and telll them what you have said here for further input .
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