My 9 year old is very emotional and sensitive

[yogadr]

My 9 year old girl is very sensitive even for simplest things. She will start to cry spontaneously on any kind of negative comment or any immprovement suggesions at home. A simple remark like " keep your closet organised" or " the anwer is wrong for that problem"
She has become super consious in keeping her a perfectionalist like making her  bed in the morning or a flat abs etc which she is too particular, that she spends atleast 20 mins on keeping the bed and atleast 3 to 5 times she checks that her abs is flat. But wouldnt be ready to hear a comment other than appreciation. We have a 2 yr old boy too.... she wouldnt let him in her room or touch her things... Its all with what she wants to do. She wouldnt listen to anything what we suggest or tell her. She becomes very angry at times and behaves little abnormal like making herself funny, laughing and crying at herslf in front of the mirror, playing alone, throwing away things .... and pulling her hair etc...She has become a poor listener too...at times she lies on very simple things... on very silly things... like one day she opened the other car instead, when I asked she lied of it. I didnot feel any significant motive in her lies...as many times it wouldnot matter on whatever she had done.

Otherwise she is very polite, very understanding,even if shes sad she would smile for us and our source of happiness, very submissive caring, kind loving child, so far I have seen her like. With her habits, she was listening  to whatever I say, was very happy child. She would always need a strong motivation at approprite timings to be consistant ..... most likely she will not be consistant otherwise ....Nowadays she wants to be seculed or reads books and mostly interested in teens shows ..... we understand it would be because of preteen stage, but I am quite concerned about her changing attitudes towards the other aspects of being rigid of not accepting the results, emotional and sensitive.

She understands that she shouldnot do that but would not help herself....or accept to our suggestions

Please suggest us to keep her on track mostly, we are very concerned of her happiness and comfort.

[mvorrath]

I am wondering if that is what going on with my almost 9 year old daughter.  She too is VERY emotional and sensitive about everything.  She is VERY particular about the way she arranges things on her dresser and gets upset if someone messes with them.  If she tries something new and doesn't succeed on it she'll just not do it at all because it is easier to not do it then to try it and fail it.  Someone please tell me if this would fall under the same category.

Thank you

[jdtm]

Suggestions - not yet.  First, you need to check with the doctor to see if your daughter has a physical and/or mental health issue.  If your doctor does not take this seriously, I would ask for a referral to a specialist in behavioural or developmental issues. And, if the results are all "negative", then at least there will be peace of mind in this aspect.

[yogadr]

Thanks for the reply. Its something I had not thought of...I shall consult the family doctor.
Do you have any suggessions to get better with her situation?

[jdtm]

It sounds to me as if your daughter is suffering from anxiety - perhaps social or OCD.  Depression is often co-morbid with anxiety and this, too, is a possibility.  Have you taken her to the family doctor for advice?  This, I think, is your first option (and be honest with all of her behaviours; in fact, you might wish to "print" a copy of this posting and take it with you).  If anxiety is the issue, rest assured that it will not go away nor will your daughter outgrow it.  I wish you the best ....