explanation of addiction to a 12yr old.

[smatthai]

I have a daughter who just turned 12.  A couple of months back, I got a DUI while transporting her in my vehicle. She lives with her father and has for some time. Her father will not let her come for visitation, which I understand. She is now asking me why I endangered her life and when will I "be recovered", among other questions. I dont know how to explain my alcoholism in a way she can understand. Im hoping there are books out there that can help her understand the disease of addiction, but I dont know what they are called, or where to look for resources. Even web sites that she could go to would be helpful.

[mtgoat911]

i can relate to your situation, i am in recovery, my kids know a good bit about the recovery process
they goto meetings with me that have child care, they know i work at a rehab, they know i speak at a local juvie center
as long as you stay sober, all this will work out and your daughter will forgive you
check this out, this helped me so much
this is what we use at work, its really expensive
http://www.hazelden.org/OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=12630
but you can buy the workbook for about 10 bucks and a few other resources for under 5
http://www.hazelden.org/OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=1128
A supportive family life plays a vital role in maintaining recovery. The information, exercises, and dramatizations found in this multi-format program help those of us who are recovering alcoholic or drug addicted parents:
recognize the impact our substance abuse had on our children
understand and respond sensitively to the feelings our children may have toward us
develop skills to rebuild trust
learn ways to nurture through basic family organization and honor family traditions

[margypops]

sorry for mistakes I have a keybord that has tantrums

[margypops]

I think you simple have to expain to her as best you can what happened in your life and how it all came about ,be honest about what lead to to be what you were and do what you did, Make no excuses,it doesnt sound as if you would tell her it as it was, and how you are trying now with help to turn your life around and hopefully hers also.The fact she is asking when will you be recovered tells you she wants to be with you and is concerned for you, this has been very hard on her and you, this illness you had and are recovering from is so damaging, the fact you are asking us and getting help is the big factor.Cjildren need both parents in their lives, be honest with her tell her how wrong you were and that  although it takes a while you are recovering now .I can feel how much you care good luck to you and your daughter.We have an Alcoholics forum on MH they may have some more answers on dealing with it and any information for your daughter to read.