I'm am just going to get my thoughts and how I've been feeling and what I've been thinking out there, because i need some help and I can't really go to my family with my thoughts on this and I can't go to my priest with this because my thoughts basically insult my religion, but I need to tell someone what's going on in my head as I can't stop thinking about it even though I don't believe half of what I'm thinking about. And just to warn you, this post will probably insult and disgust and p*ss off every religious person out there, but this is the prayer group and with my thoughts lately I really need some prayers to get my faith back, and if you feel the need to insult my thoughts or flat out tell me I'm a disgrace to my religion(Catholic), I'll understand because I think the thought are crazy myself, but I need to tell someone and get them out there so hopefully I can finally get them out of my freaking head! Ok here goes, and I'm sorry if this insults anyone, and please be nice..and try not to think less of me because I can't stand the thoughts i'm having myself.
So I'm more of a logical thinking person, meaning I like proof, I like the facts, so i guess I'm more scientific in thought than anything else? Anyways, I DO believe in God, I believe there is a higher power, I have faith in that, but some things have been gnawing at my more logical side lately, and (this is where it gets insulting), such as things about The Virgin Mary and baby Jesus(sorry for what i am about to say and that I have even thought it) But the logical side of me just cannot accept that Mary miraculously conceived Jesus through the Holy Spirit. The logical side of me keeps analyzing it and thinking of what the most logical assumption is of what really happened. first thought that keeps coming to my mind is that Mary was betrothed(engaged, whatever) to Joseph, about to be married to him when she conceived Jesus. So the most logical explanation is that Mary and Joseph rushed their wedding night and so baby Jesus was conceived. Now I'm not saying Jesus wasn't the messiah, But all I keep thinking is that I can't accept that the Holy Spirit miraculously impregnated Mary. It's just not logical, and I know that faith isn't logical, but my logical side just says perhaps Mary was already pregnant by Joseph, but God decided to incarnate himself into Mary already conceived baby? So that's one of my logical sides theories.
Ok this one is a little bit, ok a lot of bit worse than the first logical theory, so if the first one really really really offended you (and how could it not, again i'm sorry I just can't get these thoughts out of my head) i wouldn't advise reading this next thought of mine.
So the other completely logical thing my wonderful(sarcasm there) brain has been thinking is maybe the entire story of Mary having miraculously conceived Jesus is a lie. Perhaps Mary and Joseph did there thing and Mary realized she was pregnant and had a dream about Gabriel visiting her, or (this is really bad) had a psychotic episode where she really believed Gabriel had visited her, and then she convinced Joseph that she was giving birth to the Son of God, and he believed her and then her and Joseph told Jesus from birth that he was a Messiah and that he would save the religion and save everyone. And since it's a fact that if you tell someone something enough times they start to believe it, Jesus believed he was truly the messiah, a human incarnation of God. And he lived his life that way, and really became the messiah through his actions and good will to all people of all kinds. So even if he didn't start off being the incarnate of God, he became the true image of what and who we should be and then was accepted by God as a messenger for earth, later on in his life? i base this last thing(meaning God decided to choose him as his incarnate later in his life) on the bible. According to the bible, Jesus didn't start preaching until he was in his 30s or close to 30. If Mary did miraculously conceive him and he was always the incarnation of God, wouldn't he have starting his teaching of the faith at a younger age? As soon as he was bale? why wit until he was 30ish to get baptized and to baptize others? Why wait 30 years to start teaching the true word of God if he was God incarnate his entire life? That's why my logical side keeps thinking that maybe God chose him later in his life, as he was preaching a good message. In the bible the book of Mark states Jesus "saw the heavens parting and the Spirit descending upon Him like a dove. Then a voice came from heaven saying: 'You are My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased'".[Mk. 1:10–11].(and it only says Jesus saw this, it does not say anyone else saw this also, so my logical side messes with that too) This was after he was baptized, and it was only after he was baptized and started preaching that he began performing miracles, I believe(unless those miracles are all hearsay and fable) So perhaps, God chose him as a messiah later in life because he was a good man and a good role model for all of society?
So those are the thoughts that keep popping into my head. And i can't get them out they keep popping in there, as so you can see why I really need prayers(i've been praying myself trying to get these thoughts out of my head) as my faith is just completely whacked right now. And i've blasphemed in every way i think it's possible to, and I just can't help myself, where are these thoughts coming from? How is it I can firmly believe in God, and believe that Mary, Joseph and Jesus were real and really did help the world, but yet my mind keeps thinking these thoughts?
Hopefully God will understand my questions and pondering, as he made us humans the way we are, and gave me my questioning mind, so hopefully he can forgive my thoughts and questions as he made me.
So as you can see, I could really use some prayers to help me stop all this logical crap and get my faith in order. Or can you even suggest some scriptures that could help me? And i'm sorry if this offended you again, it also offends me and my faith, and I know this is horrible thinking but i can't get it out of my head and this is the only place I felt i could unload all these thoughts. i hope you won't think less of me for all this although I wouldn't blame you because I think less of myself for even thinking these things. and please be gentle with your comments, but if you can't be then i understand that too. Maybe i should just run to the nearest church and confess all this to a priest.
The first thing I'd have to ask you is have you ever accepted Christ as your personal Lord and Savior? Did you make the conscious decision that you believed he was who he said he was, the son of God and that he was sent to save you and me from our sins? If not, that's ok. Take your time before making this important decision. Go ahead and ask all the questions, search the scriptures, pray and talk to other godly people who can help you. If you did accept him but still have doubts then do the same thing. Ask God to give you more faith. Confess your doubts. Remember the scripture where the father asks Jesus to heal his son if he is able? And Jesus said "Do you believe I am able?" and the man said "I do believe! Help my unbelief!" This was in Mark 9:23-24 but go ahead a little ways and read the whole story. The man was honest enough to say he believed, he wanted to believe, but that he still had doubts and asked Jesus to help his unbelief.
God will honor our sincerity. He understands our doubts and even lack of faith at times. When we feel our faith is lacking, he wants us to ask for more faith. See faith comes from hearing the Word of God so if you're not in the Word (the Bible) very much then your faith won't grow much.
I know I'm not offended by your questions and thoughts. We all have questions, even doubts at times. It's when we have these doubts that we need to pray and ask God to open our eyes, spiritually, and help us to see him, and to open our ears, spiritually, to hear from him. Every time you read the Bible ask God to speak to you what he wants you to learn for that day. Don't try reading it without praying first or your human side will take over with all the arguments and doubts. You see, it's our spirit that needs to be fed by the Word of God and it's our spirit that's in tune with God. Our natural bodies are always in rebellion to God, every day. It's because of the fall. It's only by being reborn through our spirit that we can begin to know and understand God better.
Does all that make sense? Faith is a choice first. We choose to believe, then we ask him for more faith and to help it to grow. It starts out small like the mustard seed but with feeding it, through prayer and bible reading, it will grow into the huge oak tree. If we never feed it, it will shrivel up and die. The more we feed it the stronger our faith grows. It takes time. It doesn't happen overnight but we do have to do our part by reading and memorizing the scriptures and prayer. Praying is giving to God. Reading his Word is receiving from God. We need both to be healthy.
We have a choice. We can choose to believe that God planted that seed in Mary and Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of a virgin, or not. Why is that so hard to believe? Do we believe he created this world and everything in it? Do we believe he can do miracles, even today? I do. I've seen them myself. Miracles that defy logic, that we don't understand. We may not understand everything here on this earth. God says his ways are higher than our ways and his thoughts higher than our thoughts. We're never going to be able to put him in a box and dissect him. There are just some things we won't understand until we're in Heaven. We just have to accept by faith that he knows best and knows the future, we don't.
Jesus actually first showed his divinity when he was 12 and showed amazing wisdom and knowledge for his age.
Later, he read the prophecy concerning him from Isaiah and claimed his divinity. Read the book of Luke.
Over and over he claimed his divinity in many different ways. His first miracle was changing the water into wine. Even then he said it was not his time yet. You see, God's timing is not our timing. Sometimes God takes a really long time to do something and in our fast paced world that's really hard to accept! We want things and we want them now. But God's timing is perfect. He was waiting for the perfect time for Jesus to start his ministry. The stage had to be set first, everything had to be ready. There are just some things we are not going to understand, but God does.
Almost every prophet God used at an older age, except David. Look at Moses and Abraham. Age is not what's important to God. Again, it's the timing.
I can't say I understand everything or have the perfect faith. We're all human and we'll all have times of doubts and our faith may seem shaky. We just have to get back on our feet, look to God and ask him to please fill us up again, give us more faith, over and over. We need to be filled by him every single day. It's just like eating, the more days we miss the more we will become weaker and weaker. We need spiritual nourishment too. The more you get filled up by God, the more he will talk to you, show you things, help you understand. It's a daily process and sometimes it seems so slow! But growing can be painful or slow at times but we all need to grow and keep moving forward. The more we do the stronger we get.
We're all on this path, this journey, towards God. The going can get rough and dark and sometimes we can't see the way or we get tired and just want to sit down or even give up, but we must not give up! Because the further down that path we go the closer we get to God and the more we will be able to see the light. We must remember we have an enemy who is very powerful and would like nothing more than to trip us up and get our eyes off of the Lord. But the Lord is more powerful than the devil and will protect us and guide us if we let him, but it's a daily thing. We have to stay close every day.
I hope any of that helps. Please feel free to pm me if you ever would like to talk more. I may not have all the answers but I know I love the Lord and love talking about him. Nothing offends me, either. :) It's good to have questions. That's how we get answers!
You might want to read some of Lee Strobel's books like "The Case for Christ" or Josh McDowell's book "Evidence That Demands a Verdict". Both authors were atheists and extremely smart men who decided to investigate for themselves whether Christ was who he said he was and Christianity in general. Lee Strobel also wrote "The Case for Creation" which focused more on evidence for creation. They're both wonderful authors and I really think you'd get a lot out of their books. Check them out. I hope any of this helps!
I'm here if you would still like to talk! I pray God will guide you and give you wisdom, knowledge and discernment as you seek him more and more every day. God bless you!
I found this in the Bible. Actually our pastor mentioned this scripture and I thought of you. In this scripture it shows that Mary wasn't the only one visited by an angel to announce the conception of Jesus. When Joseph discovered she was pregnant he was going to quietly divorce her (they were betrothed which was as legal and binding back then as marriage) and that night he was visited by an angel who reassured him and told him to go ahead and marry Mary because she was carrying God's son who would save the world from their sins.
Here's the scripture:
This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit.
Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"--which means, "God with us." When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.
It's really important for you to dig into the scriptures and do a study on your own. You will find the answers you are looking for. Ask God to show you what He wants to show you and teach you and be open and willing to listen and learn. Those who seek Him with all their hearts, He says He will be found! :)
Hi sweetie....I'm a practicing Catholic, who goes to monthly confession and weekly mass. Right now your faith is weak, because you are doubting. You should never feel embarrased or afraid to speak to a Catholic priest in private about your situation and thoughts. They are trained on how to advise and uplift your spirit and strengthen your faith, so make sure to get your butt in check and talk to a priest ok :)
It sounds as if you do not read the bible very often and are wrapped up in "life" and don't have the time for prayer. Also, if you go to mass every Sunday, it will uplift you and keep the commandment to maintain the Sabbath. We are human and we have all been in that situation, so no one should judge you, but God and how do you think that Jesus Christ, became mortal. The profession of faith states that by the power of the Holy Spirit he was conceived and became man and you should be talking to a priest about how you feel and right now your faith is very weak. We have to nurish it through prayer, mass and monthly confessions, etc.
Also, I have to admit that I was very surprise at your lack of knowledge of the Immaculate conception of Christ, which means you really haven't studied the bible carefully and seem confused in logic. The thought that the entire Immaculate Conception is a lie is shocking and satan in having a field day with you and I actually have stopped reading the entire message, because we both are Catholic, BUT the difference between my understanding of the Catholic faith and your's is night and day. I recommend that you set an appointment to met with a priest in person and discuss your religious issues. He is not to judge you, but to answer your questions and guide you in the right path and if you are discourage, tell him, if you feel you want to leave the Catholic faith, tell him. I recommend that you pray for God to help you, guide you, forgive you and may you be guided by the same spirit that you question...the Holy Spirit.
We are human and prone to error and have the right to question and have these questions answered, so go to the person who can best answer your questions properly....God (also the read the bible) and a priest to help with guidance and answers...Judy
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