Pregnancy 18-24 Community
18 and pregnant
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18 and pregnant

Hi,
I'm 18 years old and found out over the week end I am pregnant. This came to a shock to me - and I felt quite panicky. By no means am I ready to have a baby - I plan on going to university in September and couldn't afford a child even if I was done with my education. The obvious "solution" was to have an abortion. Easier said then done. I feel conflicted - I don't want to have an abortion but I can't see a realistic future if I don't. I know my mother will freak out when I tell her and encourage me to have one. What is the right thing to do? As crazy as it sounds I have already grown emotionally attached to something I'm not even sure I can keep.
Anyone have any advice?

M
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10 Comments Post a Comment
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1418198_tn?1380020103
CONGRATS!!!!!!!! Awwww I can't totally understand where your coming from but my heart goes out to you, I got pregnant when I was 13 going on fourteen. Because of the situation(it was really crazy situation) I could have gotten an abortion but I decided to keep my son today he is a 13 year old and how time flew... Even though I can't advise you the best thing to do, there us lots of couples out there that want kids and can't have them and would love to adopt, Imma leave you with that thought.....

Wishing you the best of luck!!!!
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1222635_tn?1366399886
hey girl i got pregnant at 16..found out at 17...and i chose abortion. i regretted it very much and had some emotional issues due to that. theres been many a day where i have cried over the loss of that child. it also ruined my relationship with my boyfriend at the time. it was very painful and i also cried during the procedure.

i got pregnant again at 19 (stupid..i know) and this time because of the abortion i decided to keep the baby. i had my daughter 6 months ago (im still 19, almost 20)...let me just tell you it is very hard sometimes. i never wanted kids. i had a fleeting emotion where i felt like i was supposed to be a mom so i wanted to be a mom and that is why i decided to keep my baby i have now. i didn't realize or recognize that it was just a fleeting emotion due to the abortion and not really what i truly wanted. what i truly wanted for my life was to marry and live with my husband, just us, for the rest of our lives. i wanted to be a career woman and travel and spend our money on us. i wanted to be selfish and only share my life and time with my husband. now i am a mom. and i love my daughter very very much. i wouldn't take her back now, but there are moments where i get very sad that my life did not turn out how i had planned it to be. most of the time i feel fine, but there are rare moments where i get sad about that.. i had her young, so i will be young when she is at college and i will be able to spend all my time with my husband then, and live that life. i just have to wait 18 years and thats okay.

dont get me wrong, i do not regret my daughter or keeping her. but being a mom is not what i truly wanted for my life at that time. i have a friend who did want motherhood as a part of her life (later, but she still had that desire)..and she too got pregnant at 19. she loves every minute of it and has accepted the responsibility with no problem.

i think you need to ask yourself this: do you WANT to be a mom at some point in your life? and even if its not the right time right now, are you capable of accepting the responsibility?

my opinion? do NOT get an abortion. i have been there and done that and it was a horrible, unfair, painful, and disgusting thing i did. but also, you should look at the option of adoption. you can have the baby, get your body back, and let the baby have a loving home all at the same time. and you will be able to move on with your life and have the right timing next time you decide to try for a child.

if you have any questions you can go to my profile and send me a pm (private message)...i have firsthand experience with motherhood and abortion and i am near your age. i'd be glad to do anything i can to help you. :)
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1124862_tn?1303854573
it is ultimately your decision, and your body, but you sound like a very smart girl, and like you said you are already attached to the baby and it wouldnt be fair to you or him/her that you end with its life because of a "situation", I HIGHLY DOUBT that if your mom really cares about you she will encourage you to go through something like an abortion, that is a very traumatizing thing to do and it would be heartless to let u go through it. I believe she may advise you to think into adoption since you seem to have a clear thought that this is not what you want and you want to finish school. But do not let anyone else make a decision for you, please think about what you already feel for that baby, and how that feeling will grow with each day that passes, think about what those babies opportunities will be when it grows up. put all those things in a balance and make your decision, but make sure its yours, take advice but do not decide based only on what others think, if you were blessed with a baby then you will be blessed with a way to raise him or with the courage to put him up for adoption to insure hi ma better future, but you were not blessed with a baby to end with his life because you want to continue with yours.

I hope i didnt sound to harsh, and wish you luck with your decision!!
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1330108_tn?1333680904
I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. What a very stressful decision to make. I have a friend who had an abortion and she said it was horribly painful and tramatizing. She still to this day ten years later thinks about it. No she wasn't ready for a baby but she says looking back she wishes she had chosen adoption instead. There are so many people out there waiting for a baby. I can't say what's best for you. I can only share with you other peoples experiences. But I hope that whatever decision you do make that you make it for yourself and not based on anyone elses beliefs or opinions. You ultimately are the one who has to go through this so you need to be comfortable with your decision. I wish you all the best and pray that you find peace.
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212161_tn?1410016711
GOD has made that little life and if your not ready than let someone thats wants a child raise that sweet baby
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1486289_tn?1315845855
congrats i know your young but im 17 and still in 11th grade im pregnant with a beautiful baby gurl and so happy because feeling her move around in my belly makes my day.....pleez dony hurt your unborn child...i know children dont ask to be brought into the world but they all deserve to live..
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Avatar_f_tn
there are a million women that would love to give you'r miracle a good life. abortion is really never the key. If you are not ready for parent hood. use protection ie birth control condoms. or simply do not have sex. but don't harm that gift from god because you were irresponsible or not ready. give her or him up for adoption or take responsibility for you'r actions and be a mother. god bless
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505857_tn?1329685117
i agree with ftmamanda, i've been ttc for 3 years and won't receive IVF for another 2 years by then i'll be almost 29 when i have my first child and i would do ANYTHING to be in your shoes.  I hope you make the right choices for both yourself and your unborn child
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1510824_tn?1290102648
i got pregnant at 17..had my baby girl befor my 18th bday.it all worked out.i wouldn't change a thing.i could possibly be pregnant again even though i'm on implanon.if i were to be pregnant i'd just do adoption because i'm sure i wouldn't be able to handle another child so soon.i would choose adoption if i were you
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1510919_tn?1298828667
Im 19 now and 16 weeks pregnant. I was 18 when I got pregnant though. Last year i thought I'd be in college right now and that i was going to put off kids for another 2 years or and get degree. then i met my fiance and we wanted to have a child together. we tried for months and nothing then i found out i was pregnant. I was scared, i couldn't believ it had actually happened. I just kept thinking now what? i wanted this child but I'm still scared and i am panicky at times but i love this baby and wouldnt trade it for the world. It's all up to you and you can do anything oyu put your mind to. Don't let other people tell you what you HAVE to do. decide for yourself and be strong about it :) good luck to you
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