Second time was a lot different for me. Mt water leaked with my first son so all I had to do is wait around .second time around my son wouldn't drop so I had to go through two days of horrible contractions to help push him down . I didn't twar as much as I did with my first ans healing wasn't too bad. Hubby says their isn't a difference down there . so I guess it depends on your body & baby. I drank raspberry leaf tea to help with contractions and after labor. I heard evening primrose oil helps prevent tearing .
I didnt become more lose either time...if anything tighter. Your body is made for birth, i don't know why people think you get stretched out...