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MIL vent...
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MIL vent...

So I'm just frustrated with my mother in law. I really wanted some time to get babys things washed and put away and organized well before she's suposed to make her appearance. My mom had a shower for my side of the family, so I have a lot of things, but still missing a very good amount. Now my mil said that she was going to have a shower for us and we have been waiting for a date so that I can request it off work. I'm due july 11th, and she has finally planned to have it june 30th. I really feel like its last minite. Its not even 2 weeks before my due date. I understand she doesn't have to have one for me, I don't want to come off as ungratul. But spencer and I told her we would like it at least a month before so we could figure out what else we would have to buy on our own, wash things, etc. Spencer even said to her "isn't that pushing it a little mom?" And she said "too bad!" What the h.ell!!! Btw she doesn't work, she's at home all day watching her tv shows, and  its not like this baby was last minute. Shes known about it for well over 6 months now. And its her first grandbaby. I just think that shed be a little more excited but she's hardly been involved with this pregnancy.  Ugg sorry its a long vent. I'm just super irritated with her.
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2020005_tn?1404435525
I would just save all the money that you can until the shower and then wait and see what you'll get there and you'll have the money to spend on things you still need after if you need anything else. Sounds like she's pretty set on that date, and the last month DRAGS!! So i think it will be good to have something to do for the last little bit. I would be annoyed with the situation too, but just try to see the positive in it so it doesn't stress you out! Good luck hun!
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Avatar_f_tn
My baby shower is tomorrow, and I'll be 38 weeks exactly. It's not a bad thing. And my mother in law talked **** about me telling all my husbands side of the family not to go. About a week ago. Hasn't bought the baby anything. She's a mega ***** we have history and she's literally fuckn with me. But what can you do.. At least she is throwing you one. It will be fun
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Avatar_f_tn
Booo! That stinks! My MIL is very nice to me. If hate to have a negative nancy for a mother In law
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4545793_tn?1394596144
Ya that is cutting it a lil close eekk well I mean if u go into labor u can continue the baby shower at the hospital lol jk jk but idk girl if she isnt someone who is reasonable then just let her throw it and if u go into labor before hand then u can tell her I told u so lol
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5111430_tn?1377666821
Personally I wouldn't let anyone thrown one for me after 35 weeks, my 1st was born 36 weeks so I know it's likely for #2 to come early also. My MIL respects me though and would understand.
Your MIL sounds like she doesn't care what you and her son wants.
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4364093_tn?1365873259
She doesn't care. I was talking to his dad today (they've been divorced since spencer was little) and he said "you know she's doing this on purpose right?" I love his dad to death, such a real person that I can actually talk to, he texts me and calls me and asks about the baby all the time. Hes super excited and ready to be a grandpa. He actually said something very funny...my MIL loves to be the center of attention for everything...which could be why she's having it so late knowing that I possibly won't be able to make it, she likes everything to be about her...he said "dawns the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral" really made me giggle. Lol I'm glad spencer has at least one decent person in his family. But money has just been tight lately and that's why it being late is a problem. Because we might not have a lot of money to get the thingss we don't have. But yeah ktowne ill definitley be putting money away from here on out!!!
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4113227_tn?1353467394
With this being my fourth I can tell u from past experience, the only things you really NEED right off is a carseast, bed,diapers,wipes, & sleepers. Formula if your not breastfeeding. Everything else you can get after baby is here. I'm 38 weeks & the only thing I have is a bassinet & diapers. I'm breastfeeding. I don't know gender so I haven't clothes shopped. I do have a few neutral sleepers
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Avatar_f_tn
Write she sure the heck does sound like a wicked witch! I'm sorry she's so attention seeking i have a ton of problems with my mil too but she's a control freak and doesn't mind not being the center of attention she threw my sons baby shower and i highly doubt she will be throwing this one if i have a girl we have a rough history too cuz she wants to control my family and my household and i won't let her! She seriously wants to know like what we spend every penny on and she tries to see what I'm doing every single minute of the day and who I'm doing it with like I'm a teenager and she's my mother! I'm always thinking like b#tch I'm 28 years old and married your not my mother leave me alone! Of course i don't say this to her though! She acts like she's my sons mother too and argues with me all the time about my parenting skills! Like he's grounded this weekend cuz he's been really mean to a lot of kids at school this week and i won't let him go to their house this weekend and she's throwing a fit about it today when they see him every single weekend! I'm like it's only one day cuz i want him home Saturday night anyways cuz Sundays mothers day! And of course my husband is completely on their side about it telling me they aren't going to be around forever and i said oh okay so should i just sign over custody of him untilthey do die!! She keeps accusing me of trying to keep her son and grandson away from her and tearing apart her family when I'm not it's just that he works 6 days a week 12 hours a day and he just wants to spend some time with his family here on his day off it's not me that's stopping him! She even walked around at our wedding telling my family that it took everything she had to not stand up and object! I am so sorry this turned into my own rant about mother in laws! Basically honey there's nothing you can really do about the date she picked out for you i agree you should save some money up now for after the shower but just to forewarn you she'll get a lot worse when the baby comes cause then the baby will be stealing away the attention she wants so don't count on her being too enthusiastic about his appearance!! Sorry why do some of then have to be such b#tches!!
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2181422_tn?1400514980
Luckily new borns don't need a TON of stuff. And they won't remember not having everything set up and ready. That's something I realised when I had my son because I didn't have a shower and I felt SO unprepared. Just make sure you have the few basics. Ie: somewhere for them to sleep. Sleepers are the best thing EVER in my oppion for new borns. the zippy kind, buttons get tedious idc how cute they are. Lol. Blankets bottles/ formula if not bf. And diapers and wipes. If you have all that you have a happy baby (: I know it'd be nice to have everything before and all the cute little things but as long as you have the basics you'll be okay.
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4364093_tn?1365873259
Sandy: your MIL sounds aweful!!!! The other day spencer and I were talking about parenting and discipline, this is our first so we still have a lot to learn. But for now we have decided to not spank...this is obviously farther down the road when baby gets older, but when talking about this his mom started laughing at us and saying "good luck!"  When spencer was younger she had a paddle with holes in it with his name painted on it. He said one day he found it and threw it away. And she called it the switch. Poor spencer. :(  how we want to discipline our child for misbehaving is our decision. She even had the nerve to say that she doesn't care if its not her kid she'll do what she wants. Spencer flat out said she's never baby sitting. Thank god he knows shes crazy!!!!!
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Avatar_f_tn
Yeah i would never let her babysit either! What nerve she has for even saying that to you guys! If you want to learn done good trades for disciplining go buy this book "1,2,3 Magic" i did it with my son and it worked wonders on him! Now he never ever gets me to a3 like maybe once a month! And yes she is awful you have no idea :/ when she watchedmy son when he was a baby she would out honey on his pacifier even though i yelled at her about it bcuz giving honey to an infant will cause them to have allergies but she would still constantly do it and she would dip his pacifier in sugar too! I'm like wth your giving my 2 month old pure sugar do you want him to have diabetes at 4 years old! Seriously things get worse with your in laws after you have kids bcuz they think they knoweverything and that everything your doing is wrong! Just stick to your guns girl you'll know if your doing something wrong you have a mothers instinct that will bloom enormously after you give birth :) good luck cuz i feel like your gonna need it!
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Avatar_f_tn
With my first I told all the would be grandparents that if they tried to Interfere I would conveniently not be home when they visited or be sick for family get togethers, then I pointed out that where ever I was so was my baby! Seemed to work well. My Son is now 6 and I don't have much of a problem with them.
Good luck with the baby shower, and like a couple others have said you don't need excessive amounts of stuff for bub. They grow so quickly that I still have newborn suits, from my son, put away with the tags on. All I need for this one is a stroller, put the bed and a few other bits and pieces into storage. So we have all that. I am also a big believer in second hand goods. Most if my firsts gear was second hand, but in great condition. We saved heaps of money that way!
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4364093_tn?1365873259
I've gotten a lot of second hand things and I'm just fine with that. We still need a basinet, we don't really have any bottles...or a stoller or carseat. Spencers dad was awesome and bought the crib and matching bedding set that we wanted. I know that we have enough to get by if she came early, but its just the concept. Spencer had asked her to have it earlier bcuz we wanted to be prepared and save up for what we don't get.  And she did this crap to us. Idk she's always been weird. My family treat spencer as if he's one of their own, we've been together for 2 years, they get him birthday and xmas presents, all of that. My grandma and aunt even do...but spencerSpencer's mom has never gotten me anything. Lol I'm making myself sound like a horrible person, I really don't care its just that I don't really feel like a part of the family. Its always awkward when I'm at her house. Idk just wish I was treated a little different and that she had enough respect for spencer and I to have the shower earlier.
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Avatar_f_tn
Have you voiced all you worries and feelings to her? Not trying to judge just asking. Some people don't realise they are doing it. Only thing I can suggest is to put some distance there and don't let her cloud this wonderful exciting time in your lives, because it sounds like that's what she is trying to do and seems to be succeeding. Go to the baby shower if you can but as for the rest I would just put the distance there. This is yours and your partners special time.
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4774515_tn?1359653604
If it were me personally, I would go ahead and buy the stuff I still needed (like the carseat/stroller). I like to be prepared and organized and can't wait until the last min! Lol its nice that she is throwing u a shower but I can understand the frustration of it too...I would than exchange some of the things I get at the baby shower for diapers and a few other things :)
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