Mil vent

[Factorymomma]

So my mil wanted me to call her, so I did.  She said "I'm out at garage sales looking for stuff for Elizabeth..... Not that you'll have her wear anything I buy probably."
Wtf???? So I asked her what made her feel like that? She said,"well you just don't seem excited about this whole thing"
Um. WhAt???  She's holding a baby shower for me Sunday.  I've already told her I really appreciate it, and I feel bad that I'm kinda stand-offish because I HATE being the center if attention.  I'm not used to it.  My first kid I didn't have a baby shower.  My choice.  But she didn't really give me a choice.  I hate parties,i hate everyone standing around doing that fake "omg I'm so happy to be here!" Bs,  and I hate feeling like people are at a party because they feel guilted into it.  I'm an ungodly private person.
Anyways she acts like I hate her, but I'm just not a bubbly in-your-face person.  Plus last time I went shopping when my son was at his dad's (i went to a larger city with a mall just to get away) she got PISSED because I didn't take her with me.  My man mentioned I was going shopping the day before and I guess she decided to invite herself. And I got pissed when I found out and just left to shop.  I wanted to be alone!  I wanted to just idle around the mall at my own pace!  My mom and my best friend thought my mil was being crazy, they totally understood wanting to just be alone for a couple hours and just walk aimlessly.  
I dunno, she claims she loves me and I'm the best thing thats happened to her son.  Then she acts like an *** to me. I'm about to go crazy.

[Factorymomma]

Thats one thing I'm thankful for.  My mom is like me.  Very private.  If she wants to know something she will wait until I tell her, because if I don't, I obviously don't want her to know.  She does call maybe once a month to see hours things are going but she doesn't rattle off 5000 questions that she demands be answered.  I only tell her what I feel she needs to know.  And she knows I dispise parties so she wasn't planning on doing anything for a baby shower.  My last pregnancy I bought everything because that's just how I wanted things done.

[Mom2amiracle2012]

I find it hard to have a mom and MIL. Is that mean to say? They both want equal babysitting of my not even born baby. They both want first calls after appointments. They both want to be in the room with my husband while I give birth. They both want to throw a baby shower. BUT they dont want to talk to each other! Its like a competition. I cant stand it.

[smiley_one]

This sounds like my mother! She always tried to control everything, but then we got into a big argument and didn't start talking again until recently. Like when we was planning my baby shower, I only wanted a few people and I knew exactly who I wanted to help decorate and stuff....well my friends didn't know "my" style, but yet my moms friends knew exactly what I "wanted". I was so mad that I just gave up on it for a while. At the time my fiance and I lived separelty in our parents house, he was at his and I was at mine, well during the day when I was at school after I had the baby, I would not have a babsitter because both my parents worked, I went to school so I had no one to babysit at my house. My fiance's mother said she will baby sit for us anytime we needed her to because she is a stay at home mom and she said she would love to spend as much time as she can with little Charlotte. Well my mom did not like the idea of her watching the baby at all saying "the baby would be spending too much time over there". It's not like my mom would never get to see the baby, the baby would be there in the evening as soon as I got home, or if she wanted to pick up the baby I told her she could, but no, that wasn't good enough for her.

I like my soon to be mother in law. She offers her advice, but she doesn't shove them down my throat or makes me feel bad when my fiance and I decide to do something else.

Hopefully your MIL will take a few steps back when the baby is born. I can't imagine how it is to have someone like that constantly doing that.

[Factorymomma]

Excuse me? I haven't even told you the half of the bs she does so you don't know. I'd much rather have her ignore me and let me be like my ex-mil.  I hate people inviting themselves into my business.  If I don't tell you something, it's because you don't need to know.  Instead she wants to know everything down to how my cervix is doing.  I've had a mil that didn't give two sh*ts about me or her grandkid.  And I kinda prefer it.  So don't tell me to suck it up until you've been on both sides of the street.

[buggie216]

You should be thankful she cares and actually tries...my MIL doesnt give two craps about any of us...including her two year old granddaughter and the baby inutero...its extremely hurtful...so be thankful and suck it up!!

[Ashleigh92009]

I just have to say factory momma I quite enjoy all of your rants lol. It reminds me that there are still normal people in the world with emotions as strong as mine :-)  lol on the other hand my mother in law is very in your face kinds person and her son and I both are well not. She thinks sometimes that because I don't hang out when invited sometimes that I'm scared or don't like her. Lady juices with you for a year and a half why would I be scared? Lol. Most of the time I'm just tired and have bills to pay at that time because I work evenings so everything is closed when I get off. They'll just never understand. I've accepted it. Lol :-)

[Factorymomma]

I've tried to explain how I am to her... She just says, "that doesn't sound normal." Ok I'm abnormal.  Call me Abby for short please lol

[brit0585]

people go to baby showers because they want to not because they are being forced to.. its like a wedding you invite tons of people and half make it. the other half only a few had plans (6 weeks in advance when you sent invites) and the rest just didnt want to go so they said sorry we cant make it. if they didnt want to go to a shower they wouldnt. i get invited to things and sometimes i just dont feel like going so i dont. some people dont like being center of attention but sometimes it happens and we dont really have a choice. she is trying to be nice it sounds like and do something for you and her granddaughter.

i can understand wanting alone time cuz everyone does want it and everyone needs it but maybe you should explain that to her instead of getting mad about it. it doesnt help anyone to hold hard feelings toward anyone and more times than none it makes everything worse and ackward.

[jennjenn18]

Ive never met my mil (her choice) me nd my husband have been over there and she locks us out she says her and the rest of his family dont "approve" of us being together dont ask me.why.cause idk! It bothered me at first but.not so much now

[trying43]

Sounds like my mil.  She doesn't get my personality at all and she thinks I don't like her.  I am just not a happy smiley person that talks ur ear off.  My dh finally intervened and its better but I still get the weird vibes from her.  The only thing I can say is maybe talk to her and explain "you" to her.  She may or may not get it.  Good luck