OT: CUSTODY BATTLE PLEASE HELP

[shasy03]

I know this isn't the right forum but I really need help.  A friend of ours is going through a rough time right now and I can't seem to find it anywhere on the internet and I don't know if any one has been in this situation.  We live in Virginia so we are really looking for VA laws.

The mother and father both went to court today just to set a court date that the custody will be determined.  The father shows up with his lawer and the mother has no lawyer.  The father is scheduled to get the child saturday for one week..(they have been alternating weeks.)  The mother called our friend and said that he is not allowed to see his child until January when their court date appears in court.  Can she do this?  Is there anything he can do?  He tried to call his lawyer with no answer seeming how it's after 5 pm here.  

What is his next step?  Is there anything he can do?

[LosingMyMindInGA]

You have to be very careful in Virginia....being as it's a commonwealth state.  VA rules/laws can differ dramatically from those of regular states.  VA has been notorious for favoring the mother regardless of the situation.  You need to check out (remove the spaces)  www. divorcesource . com     They're are very knowledgeable people on there.

You can also look into the official code of virginia for laws governing child custody and divorce/child support etc.  

Here in Georgia if there is no court order or protective order then a couple who was married when the child is born have equal rights/obligations to the child.  Now if the child was born OUT of wedlock then the mother is granted custody by default and the father would have to fight for it.  Was there no temporary order put in place until the custody hearing date?  

This father needs to document EVERYTHING.  Every time he tries to see the child and she refuses, what her excuses are, what the circumstances are etc.  

Also...as a rule of thumb, until an order is put in place.  GENERALLY speaking (it can vary by state) as i said both parents have the right to the child....so technically ...the mother can legally keep the child....BUT if the father were to show up at school/daycare and take the child...he has that legal right.  But again I stress that this can vary by state.  


There is also a series of books based state by state called "How to file for divorce in (whatever state).  I got one on  ebay when i went through my divorce.  Between that and searching the internet and talking to people who have been through one...I did my own divorce without a lawyer, didn't cost me a penny and I got what I wanted including support and custody arrangements.  I was however fair about it.  You might check into one of those books for your friend.  Even if they aren't going through a divorce it does cover custody and support.  

[JoyRenee]

I don't think she can keep him from seeing his son unless the court deems that he is unfit and not able to see his child without supervision. Why makes her think she has every right to the child before the court date but he doesn't?!

[bamamommy24]

Oh yea there is somethings he can do. My parents have been divorced since I was 5 and had to go through custody  battles pretty much the whole time till I was 13 yrs old!  She cannot keep him from seeing his kid. They have to see him as being "unfit" she can get in trouble for parenting! It is not kidnapping considering it is one of the child parents so yes. Have him try to get a hold of his lawyer again to see what they can do legally for the time being. He can press charges against her for that but that is about it. Without there being a court order for him to have visiting rights she doesnt have to let him see there child but that can come up against her in the battle! Charges can be brought up. I hope that helps. My parents went through the same thing and that is what happened. Now if they get a court order, she has to or she will be going against the law and then he could have a cop go to the house with him to get his child. But she can get in some big time trouble! Good luck