Thoughts?

[abigailsmomma]

My hubby and I aren't married (we've been friends forever and we've been together for quite a while, so I call him my hubby)... Anyways. My mom is making a huge deal about the baby's last name... I wanted to just go with his last name and because of my mom I agreed to hyphenate the baby's last name... but I don't want to do that because we are planning on getting married next summer and my baby will have a different last name than both of us ...
So I guess what I am asking is what would you ladies do?
Go with what you want or do what your mom wants?

[abigailsmomma]

Thank you everyone for your reassurance :) I do love this man and I'm the same way... I have a hard time justifying spending money on a party and a piece of paper hahahah, so we said we would get married by the end of next summer at the court house (so much cheaper) and just have a huge party afterwards. LOL. But that you for helping me realize it doesn't matter what my mom forces on me. :)

[BabyTurnip]

I had my moms last name for 15yrs. Both my little sisters have my "now dads" name. At 15, my parents asked me if i wanted to have the same last name as my "now dad" and i wanted to. So after a long time and a lot of money i was adopted by my dad and now caring his last name. My mom met him when i was four, never met the sperm donor cuz he was an drug addict and violent with my mom. So the guy she met when i was four is now my dad and i could never ask for a better dad :) point is doesnt matter what the last name is as long as everyone loves each other. If ur going to marry him give the baby his last name. My hubby n i arent actually married either. Engaged but not married and i cant get myself to spend that much money for a piece of paper saying im married lol anyway we decided to have a baby and our son will have his last name. And i made it very obvious that thats the decision and theres nothing to talk about. My grandmother asked to put my last name too so the family line doesnt die but i just said hell no. My kid has a longish name already im not adding my name too. Then my mom asked to put my grandpas name who died last month , in his name and i looked at her and said no. If i put my grandpas name then i would have to put my hubbys granpas names too and there is no way my son will be the "child sent from god" just cuz hes the first boy in the last 30yrs.

[abigailsmomma]

See I've always thought the same thing, but the fight with my mom totally wasn't worth it at the time... and the poor baby will have the worst last name ever if we hyphenate it... Bomhof-Gough (Gough is pronounced like cough but with a G) it's ridiculous! Hahaha, Poor baby girl. LOL

[Kate037]

My hubby and I are common law so in the eyes of the law we are married but there is no paper saying we are. I'm giving my son hubbys last name because we talked about having the actual ceremony before we found out we were expecting, but put it on hold because we'd rather spend the money on baby instead of a wedding. So we know for a fact we will be married and I don't want to deal with the hassle of changing babys name after. (plus I told hubby if we don't get married by the time the baby is a year old I'm changing my last name to his anyways so that I'm not the odd woman out in the family haha) it all depends on what you are comfortable with. Personally I believe that baby should always have daddys last name, unless of course the dad isn't around. But that's just me

[abigailsmomma]

Yeah, My mom just likes to make things a million times more difficult then they have to be. :/ She has since she found out I am pregnant... such a pain. And yeah KDQ I was saying the same thing to my guy last night... it's so nice. I have a friend in Iowa who has to pay for everything... I feel so bad for her.

And I've never seen Fly Away Home :/ lol

[Ashdub07]

Yeah, that movie Fly Away Home :) lol boom! Hahaha

[MeganHayden]

Go with what you want! Its your child...if I was in your shoes and you say your getting married I would want our kid to have the same last name. I kinda deal with the same thing with my mom, she always goes against my husband. I get sick of it and i take his side. Just follow your heart and do what is best for your child!

[KDQ]

I love OHIP too! I was just saying to my hubby how badly it would suck if we had to pay to have this kid lol. Anyways as a Canadian, I do agree that it is easy peasy to get a name change but why spend the money if you know that's what you want. Your mom will get over it I'm sure.

[abigailsmomma]

LOL Ash, ducks on frozen ponds... most people think of eskimos and polar bears... so yours is better than most lol.
And yeahhhhh, I think I'll just end up giving her his last name seeing as I'm changing mine very soon..

[AHHHpenguins]

Personally I'd go with just giving the baby your last name then once you're married you can change it.

[sharichajewski]

I was also engaged when we had my son. We got married 4 months after having him and were engagwd before we got pregnant. Gicing our son his last name wasnt even a question for me because it just made sense. Id say follow your gut and do what u and hubby want not what your family wants.

[shantyamore]

Give your baby whatever name u want !!! she may be upset but it doesn't mean she will love u or the baby less .u are having a baby!!do what is best for you

[jLove1992]

All my kids have there fathers last name it waa my choice n I wouldn't have it any other way hes a great father

[shell132]

If you want baby can have father last name that's what me and my fiancée are gunna do with our baby even though me and him are not yet married

[Ashdub07]

Well when I think of Canada I think of ducks walking around on a frozen pond hahahaha is that bad ?? Lol I have a good friend from Canada and she recently got nationalized here and I made her a shirt saying Finally American it's Aboot time! Hahahahaha that still cracks me up.

[abigailsmomma]

That makes sense summerbabies25, Idk. I live with my guy and I have the ring and he's been 100% involved in everything.. I think he's more excited than I am ahaha,

Ash, yeah it's really ******. Like I said... very happy to be Canadian.

[Ashdub07]

Yeah I'm self pay right now until u can weasel my way into Medicaid. It's really stressful

[summerbabies25]

Your Baby your decision. I have my son my last name cause the dad wasn't even at the hospital when I had him, now this baby (same dad) is going to be there this time and I'm not sure what to do, she  will prob have my last name so my kids have the same name & same as me. It'd be different if I knew we were gonna be together but I don't know that for sure and my son already has my name so my daughter prob will too.

[abigailsmomma]

Well that's not 100% true... I am covered by OHIP which is Ontario Health Insurance Plan which is all paid for by the government

[abigailsmomma]

Yeah no kidding, not going to lie really happy that I'm Canadian cause your health care system sounds really stressful and stupid haha. I just went to my doctor said I'm pregnant, did a urine test, and he referred me to my OB... the OB called me 2 weeks later for my first appointment. Easy peasy... I don't even have insurance coverage :)

[Ashdub07]

Lol you su ck Canada with your socialized, affordable health care! How dare you taunt me like that!!? Hahaha jk jk jk ;)) yeah everythings expensive here it su cks goats balls

[abigailsmomma]

In Canada it's way easier to change your name, you just fill out some papers and send a copy of your birth certificate and they change it all for you and you just have to pay $110 or something like that...
BUT it still doesn't change anything hahaha.

[Ashdub07]

I gave my oldest my last name cuz me an hubs weren't married. Now we are married, our second has te family name and even tho he's on the oldests birth certificate we have to go to court and petition a judge to let us change her name. Then once it's granted we have to pay the fees to get it changed. I should've just given her his last name to begin with but we weren't even together he was supposed to be a one night stand lol and I'm sure he thought the same of me at the time. But my parents pressured me and now I regret it

[abigailsmomma]

I'm just unsure because we are engaged, but a lot can happen in a year... I don't plan on breaking up with him but sh*t happens right? Nothing is for sure... so I kinda want to hyphenate it, but at the same time it doesn't make sense to me to do it if I'm just going to change it in a year anyways.