Pregnancy 18-24 Community
is this okay.... (smoking)
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is this okay.... (smoking)

My whole family smokes and so does my fiances family....
Well I've been doing a lot of thinking and i don't want that around my daughter...not just them actually smoking but having cigarette smelling fingers and clothes and ashtray breath.
I want to -in a respectable manor- tell them i don't want them around my brand new baby if they have been smoking.
And i mean the closest i will allow them to her is looking through a window or something.
I feel as though this is not too much to ask considering smoking is a choice and seeing this baby is a choice and they can choose whichever they'd like.
Opinions ladies? Is it too harsh? Suggestions on ways to tell them?
27 Comments Post a Comment
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2020005_tn?1404435525
Not at all, I'm the same way. I allow them to look at my daughter if they smell like cigarettes but they can't hold her, I don't smoke, my husband doesn't smoke, so my daughter isn't getting 2nd hand smoke exposure from my family, that's for sure. It's not healthy for themselves let alone for my infant.
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Avatar_f_tn
Let it be known the day the baby is born at the hospital,  you guys need to wash your hands before you hold the baby cuz you smoke. They won't take it offensively.  Your going to be the mom you gotta stand up for your kid in many ways. They will understand
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Avatar_f_tn
ktowne said it all... heyyyy ktowne hows the baby?
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13167_tn?1327197724
meg,  I think you need to think this all the way through - for years down the road.  

Second hand smoke is certainly dangerous,  the science is absolutely clear on that.  So you won't want your child in a house filled with smoke.

The science is much less clear on being around people who have stepped outside to smoke 15 minutes ago.

I think you need to do some real thinking about how far you want to carry this - and if you want to ban people who smoke from your baby's life,  your child won't have any family.

Best wishes.
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4762847_tn?1360885534
@rock i understand where you are coming from with that. But i don't want my baby to smell like cigarettes either.
And if they choose cigarettes over her then were they worth keeping in her life.
I won't allow crack heads around my baby either is that any different? I mean at least you don't get sick from second hand crack...
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Avatar_f_tn
I think that's awesome of you actually, it's someone else's habit and if you are around it that much I'm sure she will be born addicted, my friends kid was the same way and before I started smoking I would watch him and he was so fussy because I didn't smoke and so the smell and everything was gone so I would have to sit in my x boyfriends dads truck and wrap him in one of his dads shirts just so the smell would calm him down. Your baby should have a chance I feel like and I commend you for making that decision, it's not like they have to quit they would just need to wash their hands and spray/ shower pop gum in and their good
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4762847_tn?1360885534
Or wear a quarantine suit and gas mask. Lol.
I'm not going to lie i used to smoke so I'm not judging but i also know that what I'm asking is do able
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Avatar_f_tn
I smoked when I got prego so I'm on both ends too! But it's best for my baby and having him I quit for good!
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Avatar_f_tn
Im in the same boat. Not as many people though. Mainly my mother n law.they smoke in their house unless i am there. And they just stopped while im there in the past month and i am almost 32 weeks. She got me a stroller and could smell the smoke on it just by passing the room it was in. And smell it for weeks. Of coarse im gonna wash everything right before baby gets here but it drives me crazy! Im gonna flip out if they make my baby smell like smoke. But i cant tell her that if she smokes she cant see her grand daughter that would just be wrong. But she will be washing her hands
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4762847_tn?1360885534
This is kinda what I'm meaning...
If they'd like to see the baby they will visit her first and then smoke. If that means i have to wake up early for them to visit then that's what I'll do. Lol.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi meg !!! I read online before that smoking can cause SIDS even from breathing in the smoke from clothes none of that's good for a baby
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3419238_tn?1353085371
I'm the same way...my hubby switched to the electric cigarette about 2 1/2-3 weeks ago and it's a lot better
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Avatar_f_tn
My husband smokes but he doesn't around me but I have asthma and I notice just the smell on him affects me. I wish I could what your doing. He was supposed to quit but our son will be here in 7 weeks and he still hasn't
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2020005_tn?1404435525
great thank you, getting big!! how are you doing?
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2020005_tn?1404435525
and honestly i HOPE you carry this habit down the road, your baby deserves better than 2nd or 3rd hand smoke. theres research showing now its just as dangerous!
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4762847_tn?1360885534
I tried to explain this to my fiance just now and he's kind of saying its unreasonable.... What now?? I will need his support on this to make it work
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Avatar_f_tn
It is unreasonable, really, to say you smoke cigarettes you can't hold or even be around my baby. Just have them wash their hands and some perfume and your baby will be fine.  I do agree to not take the new born to a house where cigarettes are smoked inside even if they aren't smoking at the time.  Have people go to your house to visit the baby
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4762847_tn?1360885534
Well bree....they aren't the ones that just spent 3/4th of the year making this baby girl... I don't care if they even come around her....they're not around now...
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Avatar_f_tn
Well then Meg, don't be surprised if they don't. We have didn't views on family.
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4838207_tn?1363921330
Meg she's your baby and you just want to make sure she's healthy so I totally understand where you're coming from I don't want my baby around smoke either I don't even like to be around it so why would I allow my baby. Just say what needs to be said let them know it's nothing against them you just want what's best for your child.
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4592444_tn?1362033303
As momma, it is your job to protect your little girl, no matter what. If that means upsetting some people, than that's what it means. I respect you for being willing to take this step. Ya, your families might be upset. But you need to stand your ground. There are enough things in this world that will try to harm your baby, family doesnt need to be another!
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Avatar_f_tn
No way! You are that babies mama and you have to stand up for what you think is best for you baby. As adults we can choose to be around smoke or not, but our kiddos cannot choose for themselves. It is our job as parents to make the best choices we can for them. We all know the consequences of smoking and second hand smoke. Your family might be upset but they should understand eventually that you are just a mom who is choosing what is best for her baby. Best of luck and I hope your fiance supports you.
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2020005_tn?1404435525
you stand up for your little girl that has no voice, your husband will come around! youre being a very smart and caring mama and if your family breaks contact over that, they arent very good family!
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4728986_tn?1361255176
My boyfriends dad is a constant smoker and when I told him I didn't want my baby exsposed to the second hand smoke he understood.
If they want to see the baby they will respect your wishes.
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4762847_tn?1360885534
I appreciate all of your support! And I'm glad that most of you understand that i feel this way because i care about my daughters well being! Her daddy started to understand more after a long talk where i was coming from...the poor boy is clueless about baby things (for now). I'm honestly not big on having relationships with family...the ones that are around and close i communicate with but if they weren't in or lives it wouldn't phase me but that in no way means if push them away! Everyone has the right to make personal decisions for their self and i feel comfortable now to make this decision and stay true to it! Thank you ladies! :)
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Avatar_f_tn
Here is something I plan on doing even for all people, because they also want to hold your baby wearing perfume ans scented lotion. Tell them Dr said baby may have a skin allergy and Dr don't want her exposed to chemicals. Make everyone who hold her wash their hands and put a blanket over them. If you really want to discurage so many people from holding your newbie wear your baby on u in a wrap. Me and my mom were discussing that tonight as I have the same concerns about my baby.
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Avatar_f_tn
That's not good enough. Either you have to quit smoking  or stand out side and look thru the window. Or shunned from babies life. But crack heads are welcome
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