lack of sex drive

[armybratOK]

I am currently 5w4d pregnant with my first child, and even though I love my husband, i have absolutely no sex drive. Is that normal? I feel so bad because I know he is starting to get frustrated, and he pouts when I say no I don't feel like it. As aynone else gone through this?

[Cassandrajane]

It's normal! Although I can't say I lost it or gained it because.. I only see the other half every weekend cause we live in different towns untill we get our own place and as we only see each other on weekends we have sexy time when he is over, but he has a week off soon and I see him for a whole week... I will probably smash his head in cause he will drive me mad!


xx

[jrobertson20]

Normal...your body is going through a lot of changes esp hormone wise.  Some women get an increase during the second trimester but I just started my third and I have yet to really have one.  My fatigue is not getting any better so my "honeymoon" trimester was not really much different than the first.  Congratulations and good luck.

[ConverseandPugs]

I am having the same problems. I feel so guilty for my BF, but I just can't bring myself to do it. There is no want or desire. I don't even like being touched or kissed. Sigh...

[Limonada]

This is totally normal!  For me, I've experienced this with both my pregnancies....increasingly as the pregnancies have progressed and I've gotten bigger.  Comfortable positions are limited and I just don't feel that attractive!  Plus DH is more hesitant, especially now that I'm so close to delivering (I'm 38 weeks).

[ammanda]

I am 23wks!! and I haven't liked it at all through the whole pregnancy. And right now I'm to the point where it hurts so bad when I do give in and do it. I feel so bad, cause my fiancee thinks its him.. But really its me.. I feel HUGE and disgusting.. I don't know what to do to make him happy and understanding.

[jade_21]

I guess I am in the opposite catagory here.  During most of my first trimester, I wanted it all the time.  Sex felt much better to me with the increased blood flow down there.  Now that I am in my second trimester, I still crave it sometimes, but when it comes down to it, I just don't feel like doing it.  With my belly expanding, I guess it makes it much less exciting.   It doesn't feel spontantious when your belly is getting in the way : )  

[waterlile200]

I am 5wks and have been having the same feelings. I am very consious about getting bigger, I have always had weight issues and have tried to maintain a normal weight my whole life. Now I find myself eating possibly 6 meals a day and my jeans are getting really tight. I dont look as good as my partner says I do and when it comes to sex, I just don't feel up to it. He wants it daily and I just feel like blah, I dont want him on me. Before i got pregnant, we were having sex two to three times a day, and i hardly ever complained. Now we have been fighting because I just don't want to do it, or Im not enjoying it. I feel at a lose here because it's really creating tension between me and my partner, I dont think he's being very understanding at all. most of the time I just want to sleep, I dont know what to do. I wish he just didn't need sex all the time.

[BabyOnTheWay220]

LOL...It's been 7 months for me!!! I have no sex drive & my man says he feels weird about having sex...& is afraid that he might feel the baby! hahaha I laugh it off & so does he...we spend a lot of time cuddling these past months...we figure we've had a lot of sex prior to conceiving & we have the rest of our lives.... :)
Hope this heleps :)

[concernedhubby139]

I am a man with a pregnant wife and I totally understand the whole I am just not in the mood thing... too tired... or sick.  But sex to a man is different to a woman, where if we do not get it, we absolutely go nuts with frustration. We need it to survive and function normally!!!  If not sex maybe something else....?  How does a guy talk to his wife about stuff like this without her feeling like it is her fault?  Or without making her feel terrible? Masturbation is not the same thing either people!

[hanacabana]

I had really serious m/s in my first trimester and had next to no desire for sex. Bf was very dissapointed as all the 'helpful'(scoff) books he hd read all said that i should have more of an increased sex drive. I was irratable and it was next to impossible to get me in the mood. I found i didnt want to before hand but i never lost the enjoyment...just the initial want to do it. I even made him wear protection because i couldnt stand the thought of...after...well you get what i mean.
Now i am towards the end of my second trimester ( 23w4d) and i have absolutely got in back with a vengeance. my poor partener cant keep up.

Just explain to your partner how your feeling, best to start with: "seeing as i am the sacred vessel to you unborn baby..." hormones, nausea, etc , and let him know that you ARE atrracted to him. I think thats the bit that scares them the most. Not the NOW sex idea but the notion that you are over them...i think its the let down from your excitement while ttc to you immediate lack makes them lose confidence in your attraction to them as men rather than them as sperm providers.


Im rambling... its just nice to see i wasnt the only one in the first trimester!
Hope this helps.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

you could have a hormonal imbalance or mild post partum depression causing your lack of desire.  Or it could be sleep deprivation or other things.  If you haven't already, discuss it with your doctor.  If it's hormonal or post partum chances are you won't get it back without some help.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

a good majority of women lose all desire for sex or any other intimacy in the first trimester.  A lot of the get it back ten fold in the second and lose it again in the third.  Some don't get it back the entire pregnancy.  It's completely normal.  I couldn't even stand my husbands natural smell during my first trimester this time and I normally love it.  It literally made me sick to my stomach.  I'm glad that went away :)

[alaysha]

Normal. I lost my sex drive at the beginning of my pregnancy and it never came back. 4 months after giving birth and I'm still waiting.

[loismwallace]

Normal! I didn't get a sex drive until my 2nd tri and then I lost it again in my 3rd. It takes forever to have an orgasm......Poor hubby! Oh well, it should kick back in for you. Just try to make him happy in other ways. Sounds lame, but sometimes just a stroll or movie night on the couch works.......

[rachie204]

hey armybrat...I'm only 3 days behind you and I am the same exact way right now.  I'm hoping that things will change with that soon, but it's normal.  

[omobolanle fagbemi]

Its ok, when i was 3wks and i had sex, it was horrible. not the act, afterwards, serious cramps like my womb was contracting, i tried again after a few days, same result. that was when i lost my drive.i manage again around 5wks to please my fiance, this time no pain but it was a bit difficult because it took a while before could get wet and when i did, it was very wet like before, now im about to end my first trimester, still the same difficult episodes but my fiance understands so i just i hope the dryness ends soon!

[irrelevance]

Not to mention there's been a couple times now that I've hurt my belly, by using those muscles too much. :(  Sex just isn't quite so fun when you're pregnant. Not to mention if you're always exhausted like you probably are, being in your first trimester.

[Eunice718]

Yes i have gone thru this mainly all the time. Its like when it comes down to it your just not in the mood. Sometimes there's a urge for it you want it but then when that time comes you just can't go thru with it. Plenty of times my boyfriend has gotten upset because i don't have sex with him but he has to understand my situation and where i come from. When i feel im ready he will know. Its just like with this growing belly how do you expect me to perform my deeds if im not comfortable. But in due time before you know its over you will cave in and give it all you got. So your not alone on this tip.

[irrelevance]

Yeah it varies for each woman, but the changes are normal. I had ups and downs. But there's been plenty of times where it just plain hurt, on top of me just not being as interested in it as before.

[michelle148]

I was the opposite when i fell pregnant last year i craved sex all the time but i went on to m/c in November and the thought did cross my mind that maybe it was because we had to much sex but deep down that had nothing to do with it but i did blame myself for a while. Im currently now 6 weeks and 3 days and we are still having sex but i have to admit we are not having sex as often as what we used to before i got pregnant like you it dosent bother me at the moment if we have sex or not when normally it would be every other day for us! Apparently you can get quite randy in your second trimster so ive been told! Just explain to your husband that you dont feel up to it at the moment as the first trimster can be a very tiring time for you.

[mami1323]

Totally normal.  I think most women have this issue.  I lost it completely and right away.  Some say that it comes back at some point during the pregnancy but mine never did.  Some women's sex drive goes nuts and they want it more than ever.  I didn't have that, my poor fiance.  I would give in and have sex maybe once every few weeks.  He understood after many conversations.  I told him I was still attracted to him but the drive wasn't there.  You have to remember, your hormones are crazy right now.  It even hurt me to have sex.  As soon as my son was born, my drive came back with avengence.  Now we are back on track, except for the complete exhaustion.