opinions please

[clc87]

I found out I was pregnant a few days ago. I told my bf right away. This will be my 2nd child, will be his 3rd. Now here's the problem. I want to keep the baby, he wants me to have an abortion. His reasoning for it is he will have 3 kids by 3 dif women, and he's scared his 9 year old daughter is going to hate him. I feel like he's being very selfish and only thinking about himself in this matter. He's not even going with me to see the doctor next week. Should I do what I want and go through with the pregnancy and hope he comes around? If anybody has been in this situation before I really need advice!

[Rachelxo]

My ex wanted me to do the same thing... I left him, no man should ever have to tell you to make that decision. If he didn't want another baby, he should of used protection, or had something done after he had his last one. Its selfish for him to put that pressure on you, he's not the one that's gonna go thru the emotional pain. How are you going to feel every year on the day you had the abortion? Are you gonna remember it, is it gonna be stuck in your mind like a birthday? Its up to you tho. I feel you want to keep the baby tho, or else you wouldn't of asked advice on here.

[mybaby2]

You have to do what is right for you.  I am having my second(2dads) and my bf's 4th(3moms) our 1st together.   At first he was upset and didn't want to tell anyone but now he is excited and even asking for another!   His oldest girl was not happy at first but she has come around too.  Give him some time if he doesn't come around that's his own fault!   Don't do anything you will regret to please him cuz u will probably always hold that over his and his daughter's head.

[PriceFamily91611]

You For sure do what u want!!!!!!!

[Bub02]

These women know wat they are talking about. This baby was concieved for a reason, hes an a#se and an absolute sellfish human being. Have yr baby and enjoy him or her with or without yr partner.

[kimberly070]

First of all if u want the baby keep it second its not the babys fault he has 3 differnt baby mommas and if he didn't want any more kids he should have used a condom!!!! U shouldn't kill a baby cuz he didn't want 3 baby mommas!

[5ontheway]

Follow your heart and pray about it! Do what is best for you and yours... Good luck...

[hairdid]

Did read what everyone said but he decided to have sex with you unprotected the end result is a baby. He should have thought about that before he did it. Its your baby too. He's being very selfish about that whole thing. But in the end its YOUR decision.

[red_neck_momma]

I agree with these women DO NOT HAVE AN ABORTION BECAUSE OF SOME MAN. My x husband has 5 kids an 4 baby mommas. An I have 2 kids by him an pregnant with my bfs 1st.

[louieforlaughs]

hi!
here is my point of view. say you decided to give into the babies daddy and abort. he'll be happy and you will probably keep seeing each other...but could you look at his little girl the same? i mean, you did it for him so that he could save face with his daughter. so you gave up on your own child to save his relationship with his child...would you be able to forgive him and his daughter for having a relationship when you aren't allowed to have your own relationship with your own child? i just foresee a lot of resentment there.
i agree with the person who said the 9 year old will probably enjoy having another sibling. especially if its a kid they just see here or there. i feel like he has really ruined any chance of a peaceful life with you now. cause you will always remember the day he wanted to terminate your childs life.
weigh your pro's and con's and then chuck those in the bin and follow your initial gut instinct, whatever it was.
do what feels right for you.

[brit0585]

A lot of bad things happen to your body when you have an abortion. Its not healthy for you what so ever not to mention its killing a human being. He is being a selfish jerk to say that to you and if he was really worried about having kids with multiple women he should have thought about that before having sex. Sorry that's my opinion and a very strong one I know but to say to kill the living baby because of his own problems is wrong. Its your body and your baby too and you have the right to keep it since you want to. Don't give up your own baby if you want it just to satisfy his needs.

[sadies93]

Stupid computer i wasnt done.. When me and my fiance got pregnant, my mother in law called me and said that my fiance was lazy and would never really want a child and i was better off having an abortion. which really hurt me becuase i really wanted this child and at first the thought of someone telling me i should have an abortion just really hurt but i talked to my fiance about it and he is willing to take his mother in law out of his life for us to keep our little boy

[sadies93]

Do NOT have a abortion because he wants you to, you have to want one as well or you could suffer severe depression and anxiety after the abortion.
I would tell him that your keeping the baby rather he likes it or not, you want the child and he helpt create it so he can either be supportive and love your child or get the hek out of your life.

[tinks88]

if you want the baby have the baby my ex tried making me get rid of our baby as he said he's not ready to be a dad and i said well im gonna do this with or without you...and guess what im doing it entirely without him! it's your body at the end of the day and your choice no-one can make you do anything you dont want to do!

[Lesley27]

um ya no its YOUR desition as you have to live with your choice, some woman can handle abortions but some woman do have a tough time coping so this desition really has to be yours as you have to look after yourself first... you know what you can handle...

And if he is in a comitted relationship with you what does it matter that you have a child with him... this would be your child and obviously he knows how pregnancy works and if he didnt want more children he should have done his part in birth control as thats not fair to expect you to use abortion as a form after he already has 2 kids... and same thing goes for his reason for his 9 year old hating him?! she is NINE she is a child and im sure he can be the adult and talk to her about her concerns... cause he is asking you to abort without thinking of the long term effects it could have on you?!

But anyway im not trying to make this one sided at all i know it sounds like i am but seriously this is your body! and like i said before you know waht your limits are... you really gotta think this through...its just when the other perons reasons are all about them and the affects on THEM not on the 2 of you it really bothers me... you have a big destion and whatever you choose its gotta be your own more than anyone elses... good luck and i hope you make the right choice for yourself...

[brenconmom]

Hi there. I was in a very similar situation with my oldest sons father. He too wanted me to have an abortion. When I told him that was not an option, he left and I went thru the entire pregnancy by myself. I called him when I went into labor just so he cudnt hold anything against me. He didnt come, anf I did that on my own too. After my sons birth, I took him to court, ordered him to take some classes and straighten up. It took awhile for him to come around  but now he and my son are very close,.and we are friends. I dont regret any of my choices, and I love my son.
Your bf is truely being selfish. You do what you feel is right for you and your kids. Dont let him or anyone else tell you what to do. You are a strong woman and dont need him. Good luck to you.

[smiley_one]

I'd kick his butt to the curb if I was in that situation. This is your baby too. It is YOUR body that will be going through the pregnancy. If you want to keep the baby, please please please keep it and don't let him change your mind about it. If his daughter starts to hate him because of a new baby in the family, honestly she will get over it once you both start involving her with things with the baby like having her help with feedings, or letting her hold the baby and when he/she gets older there's much more they can do together (if she wanted to). It is selfish of him to tell you to get an abortion because he doesn't want 3 kids by 3 different women. Hopefully he will come around as you get farther along in your pregnancy, but if he doesn't, well then that proves how much of a "man" he really is. If you want to keep the baby, please don't let him get into your mind and convince you otherwise. I see on here far too much about women being guilted into abortions and how much they regret it. But that's my opinion.

[dianaexoh]

If you want the child, have the child. He is wrong to ask you to terminate its life because he's scared his daughter will judge him. If anything she will probably love having another little brother or sister.