Aa
parenting tip I live by!
Your children should FEAR you, LOVE you, and RESPECT you. It will get you far and your relationship with your kids will strong and healthy. In fact this works with any child teaching full time this is my go to guide and as long as I instill these 3 emotions they will always come to me first. No wonder all the mommies look at me like deer in head lights, they're lucky if they can get the kiddos to nap and I've got them cleaning up after themselves, using their manners, and doing what they're told without repeating myself. Yes I had to toot my own horn for a moment I just love my job and how awesome I am at it!
I completely agree, kids should act SO much differently than they do now a days.. maybe just because we were raised strict, but my son is 3 1/2 and picks up his toys when he's done, says please and thank you, and listens great, of course he has his moments like ANY kid his age, but you won't catch him kicking or screaming on the floor at a store because he can't have a toy (or his little butt would be taken straight out of the store, haha), or biting, slapping, punching another kid. I'm so thankful he's such a good little boy!! Strictness early on pays off, I'm not in the least bit worried about adding our little girl because I know he's going to be great!
I completely agree with you kids these days are so spoiled and I see parents more often now that bring in their kids and you can tell the 2 yr old runs the show! Then mom sits there wondering why he/she won't listen. It's disappointing when you see something like that and it can be changed so easily if the parents weren't afraid or trying to over discipline. Kudos to you girly sounds like you've got parenting down perfect! Kids always have moments that's to be expected but its good to know the difference between a tantrum and normal behavior.
I completly agree with u both. I always get compliments on how respectfuly I raised my 5yr old to be ... I admit im a strict parent but I also show him love ...
Wooh!! I agree! I was a swim instructor, soccer coach, and worked in a daycare...let me tell you! I coach 4&5 year olds soccer and you could tell in the beginning which parents instilled discipline at home and which did it in punlic just for show. But by the end of the season I had the best behaved team in the league andmoms came up thanking me for getting their kids in line. Kinda gives me hope for being a good mom. Its not easy to do, so good for you ladies!!! :))
Discipline is love. Though my oldest son never understands it.... Behavioral issues. I can only hope my parenting is judged by 2 of my 3. Lol.
There's a difference between being a bully and showing authority. Kids shouldn't fear that youre going to hurt them by no means but they should fear your authority and the consequences of their actions absolutely!
I have no doubts I am an amazing mother, my kids do use their manners, and are very respectful. My 16 mo old also says and signs please and thank you when he want something. My issue is my ex (their dad the 13 & 10 yr olds) feels it's ok to COMPLETELY demean me and my husbands strict nature and tells the boys they don't have to listen....hence my 13 yr old thinking he can argue with me. Another issue is how public schools CONVINCE our kids that if your parents are strict its child abuse! Now mind u I am not am overbearing parent but my children will respect me and others.
Nicole. Behavioral issues occur in some cases that aren't controlled by parents and it takes professional help. Don't feel bad about that
That's a problem I see a lot too. It can be tough to parent seperately especially when contradicting is going on. As long as your doing the right things at home you have the upper hand and the stronger relationship
My 10 yr old has behavioral issues, he is ADD with ODD and those things are NOT the fault of the parent or parenting style. Oprah is right professional help is the only way. Its what I've had to do and let me tell you its a night and day difference in my son.
Thumbs up to you ladies dealing with the behavioral imbalances it can be so tough I tip my hat to you :)
Its not fear like u would scare the crap out of em! Its fear as in... I know I shouldnt do that.. my mom would be really dissapointed if I did. Its a respect fear. My 4 year old would NEVER make a scene in public or even at home because she knows I wont put up with it. She fears and knows a punishment will take place! There is definitely a difference in a child having some room to learn and running the show. So yes! Amen to all you mommas with ur head on straight!!!!
I agree, it's not fear like child abuse fear, it's a fear of discipline. I get from my mom and her boyfriend that I'm so strict, well no, my son won't eat a ton of candy before dinner, or ask someone else for something when I told him no, or sneak and eat candy or sneak a toy off when he knows he's not supposed to, and my moms boyfriends granddaughter is TERRIBLE, she bites, kicks, punches, and screams constantly.. she's 2. Someday my son will respect me for being strict, and someday he'll be grateful I did it, and he's going to make it far, sounds like all of our little ones will! :)
I guess I too agree, I was a lead teacher in the 2 year old room in the daycare I worked at, then the preschool room, I have a 2 year old of my own and am expecting my second child. LOVE is the most important in my eyes, then RESPECT. I have never told my daughter NO. instead I use words like "no thank you" and instead of telling her what I don't like about her actions, I tell her what I would like her to do instead. (ex. if she is standing on the couch I would never say "get down" I would say "please put your feet on the floor") this is my way of showing her the respect she deserves and in return she shows every one around her tons of respect. every one looks at me like im crazy when I talk to her so nicely while she is misbehaving, but it works and I will do the exact same thing with my son. this has also brought me a lot of respect from my boss. I am a nanny and in the 6 months I have worked with his children he has seen dramatic improvement in their behavior and completely eliminated any yelling in his house hold and he loves it
Love and respect yes! Fear no, and I get what some of your definitions of fear is, but really it's not the right word to use.. I have a five yr old so I do know a little of what I'm talking about I'm also in school for early childhood education and eventually I'm going into special education. Alot of the problems with parent child relationships isn't that the kid is spoiled and the parent isn't strict enough it's that the parents have no credibility with their children they don't stick to the consequences of the child's actions, and without consistency you will always have problems.. If a child knows each and every time what is going to happen they tend to make the right choices and that even goes for little kids as young as a year old. The strict thing can turn into a bad thing when the kid gets older more often than not they will rebel. The trick is being firm without being authoritarian. Parents need to decide what rules and values are important to them in their family and be consistent with them. Another excellent tip I've learned is to take action rather than reminding n arguing with the child I.E. a toy needs to be removed just psychically remove it without a big production and explaining it to death.. The kid already knows.. Sorry if this is long I can't help it there is just so much one could talk about on the subject, but I'll leave it alone at this..
Baby2 that's so great! I'm glad your child is mature enough to reflect your actions.
Yeah I dont entirely agree with your tip either. It never got my parents anywhere good I resented them as a kid too. I had a better family with my friends than I did with my parents because of the same tip. We've mended obviously, but they dont use that stuff with my kids. My five yr old has Autism and my 2 yr old needs evaluated at the children's hospital, but I dont instill that teaching into them. If it works for you guys then good but it doesnt for everyone and those it doesnt work for still have decent and well behaved kids that go far.
I'm with ya on the fear thing. Lol let's not take it soon rationally ladies. As long as you yes consistently discipline your kids(so they fear the consequences of their actions) but play more often than not and I mean get in there and play not send then out to play. Your kids will love and respect you for sure. I don't beat my kids but I have no patience for disrespect or ridiculous behaviour.
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