pregnant with a girl.. which worries me about our future

[kme17]

i am due in 3 weeks to have a baby girl. i am super nervous about the mother daughter relationship. i know everyone says "if she is anything like me im in trouble" but that saying definitly fit the bill in my case. i remember me and my moms relationship during the dreded teen age yrs and i have a friend with a 13 yrs old and she actually said  "i hate her" which i know she loves her but i can see why she said what she did.. is it normal to worry about this before i even push my little girl out?!?! hahah am I nuts?

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I didn't and still don't have the best relationship w/ my mom.  I have one son, 5 daughters, and another son on the way.  I have taken a real hard look at my relationship w/ my mother and just try really hard to do the opposite of certain things that she did.  My girls and I talk all the time and I just try really hard to have w/ them, what my mother and I don't have.  I will have a better relationship w/ my girls because I will make sure of it.  I am sure you will too.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

You learn as you go along.  They don't come with manuals, but with patience and understanding you will be fine!

[coffeebuzzedliz]

all I can say is that you have time, as soon as you see your baby your anxiety will go away!! when my husband found out we were having a girl he was so worried his eyebrow was twitching. If you have a boy or girl it is going to be hard, just comes with the territory of being a parent. I think you just need to learn from your mistakes or even what was done well and do your best to incorporate this into your parenting. I know my half sister and her mom had some rough years during her teenage years, but they got past it. I on the other hand was a pretty easy teenager for my mom and her and I never fought/yelled we have just always been friends. So I am hoping to have that type of relationship. My mom was always patient and supportive and I really try to carry that with me. She really taught me to be patient, to not reach the yelling/adrenaline phase, to think my chooses through and be logical (look at both sides). This has really helped me my whole life, I hope to carry this onto my daughter.

[kme17]

i want my kids to be able to tell me anything .. i could talk 2 my mom but dad.. n my husband couldnt and wouldnt dream of talking to his parents about ne thing.. i dont kno how 2 be a mom n understanding if it comes 2 someting im gona hate her doing..

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Having 3 boys and 2 girls I can honestly say that anxiety goes either way.  It has no gender preference.  I have a teenage daughter who is abuot to turn 15, to be honest, our relationship was more strained when she was YOUNGER than it is now.  Now she and I are pretty close and talk about a lot of things.  

Having a teenager is hard regardless of their gender.  With the hormonal changes they go through, it can make life with them very difficult for a few years.  But, we all manage.  

In the case of someone saying they hate their child, that tells me there are much deeper issues going on.  

The above poster gave you some great advice as well.

[AHP84]

I think this is an anxiety any mother could have, regardless of the baby being a girl or boy. No, you're not nuts, but at the same time, this is not something you need to stress about right now. Your daughter's teen years are quite a few years away--and until then, you have that time to establish a bond with your daughter. Don't base your relationship with her on an unknown fear before she's even born.
All teenagers are going to go through phases when they're snots; that's inevitable. So are the toddler years. Heck, that's true for times at pretty much any point in a child's life. Your job is to just keep loving them and let them know they're loved.
For right now, enjoy any and all moments you have with your sweet child. She'll grow up before your eyes--so don't waste time worrying over challenging behaviors that you KNOW will not affect your love for her.