smoking.. am i wrong?

[victoriamichelle1010]

My boyfriend smokes cigarettes. And he says hes gonna stop before our daughter gets here. But ive heard all the "ill stop when ....." yeah. But i told him. If he smells like smoke he isnt gonna be aloud to hold her. He said i couldnt do that but i will.. Is that wrong? I dont want my daughter near that or to see it.

My mom also smokes so he said i would have to tell her the same thing. And i will..
but,
Anyone know causes and effects of 3rd hand smoking? Ive looked into it a little but wasnt sure about yalls opinion or knowledge on it..

[amber_ormsbee09]

Good for you. :) I don't believe anyone can say stress is a reason not to quit. The only excuse for not quitting is that you didn't want to quit. I used to smoke a pack a day and when I found out I was pregnant I quit. And if anyone is stressed is a pregnant woman. I survived. My fiance does smoke. Mostly I don't care as long as he doesn't smoke in the car with me and there's no smoking allowed in the house. My Dad, step mom, and fiance all respect my wishes. I even told them when the baby is here they need to wash there hands, maybe even change there shirt if they smell too bad. They agreed without even flinching. I thought I was the only one crazy enough to be this much of a worry wart but I see now that I'm not. So high five for putting your foot down. :)

[Mrsrobb]

I don't allow my two year old around my MIL for that reason. I'm not gonna have her health put at risk by her own grandmother. Me and my husband constantly fight about it but since she hasn't seen her since the start of March I think I'm getting my way. I have simply asked him to talk to her about it and he won't and she won't speak to me unless I'm in front of her because she tells him "I know she don't like me" if she'll call me and I don't answer 1 time. But honestly I been letting it slide until I started keeping track of every time we came home from there she had an ear infection in less than a week and had to be put on meds. If she woulda got one more infection in less than a month her dr was gonna give her tubes so I put a stop to it. If you start to feel like you're doing something wrong just remember you and your child's health are the healthiest and that's all that matters.

[victoriamichelle1010]

Yeah well its my moms house. Im not gonna tell her and him they cant come in! That does seem extreme. At least they dont smoke in here!

And i just wish he could find something else.. healthier. Between that and drinking. Somethings gotta give.

[Rena0111]

I will not allow ANYONE around my baby if they smoke.. they will have to change clothes and wash up befor they can hold my baby

[jessika_thomas]

Also don't be super tough on your bf just be tough.  Quitting smoking is really hard to do. It helps relieve stress. My husband smokes and wants to stop but I don't expect him to completely. It helps his stress but my husbands also cut down alot and is trying xD

[ashsue]

I was kicked out of a house for smoking. Didnt know it was gunna happen till i came in from out side and was told i had to leave. The baby was sleeping up stairs on the second floor but i wasnt allowed inside smelling like smoke. It was extreme. i woulnt have held the baby smelling like smoke cuz i persinall dont like to but not being allowed inside telling me i have to stay out side when its 10:30@night and its 10degreese outside in my opinion was unnessary but it was her kid and she can do what she wants. I knew from then on dont smoke till ur done visiting but if ur gunna have that rule inform people cuz if u let them go out dont tell them after words they cant come back in thats rude. I ended up having to go in to get my friends 3yr old and leave it felt awkard and wish i had been told of the new smokers not allowed in the house rule.it wouldent have bothered me if i had know.

[victoriamichelle1010]

Haha(: i just dont like the thought of it cause my bf comes and and goes to give me a kiss and i tell him to brush his teeth. I dont wanna smell that i sure as heck dont think the baby does and im not gonna make her. But the tshirt thing is a good idea! Haha(: and dont worry about sounding crazy, we're pregnant. We're aloud too!

[BSny20]

I applaud you for this momma! You're doing the right thing! I have read studies that smoke on clothing and bedding can cause SIDS. So anyone who smokes will not be holding my son if they spell like smoke! I should just get shirts and make them put them on when they want to hold him. So I know for a fact it's clean. I feel like I sound so crazy!

[victoriamichelle1010]

Thank you(:

[jessika_thomas]

It's is a very rare case that 3rd hand smoke will effect your baby once they are born and past the 3 month marker. When it really affects a child is on the womb while they develop. I have friends who all smoked and they're babies are completely fine. But if yiu feel uncomfortable with it you are not wrong. Your child and you have a right to raise the child how u on want. Good luck!

[victoriamichelle1010]

Yeah mine smokes over a pack a day.. and i ask him "if you plan on quitting why dont you try to not smoke as much" well your kom skokes so it makes me want one.... she smokes like 5 cigarettes a day. its just so annoying cause he always make excuses.

[ash060115]

They say you shouldn't hold bby for 30mins after smoking.

Personally I wouldn't want to be held against someone stinkin of smoke so I doubt bby likes it.

I agree with you I'm gonna tell my boyfriend the same thing see does it help him quit ! He's down to 3 a day xx

[victoriamichelle1010]

Yeah hes done the e cig but he would still smoke regualar cigarettes. I wish he could just stop all together.. its so unhealthy for him, me and the baby.. but i was just making sure i wasnt over thinking the 3rd hand smoke thing.. its just gross for me to smell him. I dont want my baby smelling that too.

[nellieboo]

There's a new study that 3rd hand smoking is just as bad maybe worse than smoking because it lingers in the air and on clothes but then again they have a study for everything. I dnt think it's wrong that you don't want smoking around your baby even if they wash their hands it's still on their clothes and the baby has to breath that in. my son can't even go top his grandmother's house because EVERYONE smokes in the house and I refuse to have him breathing in that toxic it's your child your right!

[Vannah_1]

Maybe he should an electric cig? My mom and sister have it and ever since they don't smoke cigarettes. Its pretty amazing

[12_4_14]

My newborn baby noone is aloud to hold or touch her until they dont smell like smoke, and wash hands. Im going to tell my dad and brother this. I stopped hanging out with a few friends of mine because they smoke and i thought it was best while im pregnant. As for when she becomes a preteen im not really going to mind. My dad really didnt think there anything wrong with it when we were kids but he didnt smoke around us as babies

[StephTaylor94]

My mom nd mother in law both have quit smoking because I bluntly told them I smell cigarette you don't touch him I have another two weeks before he gets here tho

[victoriamichelle1010]

Thanks. I just didnt know if it was really a mean tjing to do. Im trying to watch out for my daughter... i know hes the dad but he should understand me wanting to keep her away from it..

[luxah]

My mother smokes and already I know she will wash her hands and possibly change clothes before holding my baby. Thats the respectable thing to do for you. And if they can't just do that, the. Theres no reason they should hold your child. Do they have to shower down, no. But wash yourself before holding a newborn and any size infant, thats commom sense. I don't think you're in the wrong, I don't know if there are any complications if they do hold the baby and smell like smoke so I can't give an answer for that. Amd no, you could keep him from holding her. But that could put your baby in danger if he becomes grabby.for a long time my sister in law kept her son away when she went outside to smoke, and if he came around her she'd get up and walk away so the smoke wouldn't bother him. Good luck.