miscarriage :(

[azmommy711]

I went in today to get the routine 1st trimester screening test and the tech couldn't find the heartbeat or see any blood flow in the heart. Dr said I lost my baby at 11weeks. Today was supposed to be 12w3days :( so now I'm scheduled for a d and a. He said its similar to a d and c but they just suck everything out instead of scraping. I'm so nervous about this procedure. Can someone tell me how their experience was and how long it took for them to conceive again. And is it painful? Do u bleed a lot afterwards? Did u get an Infection? Thank you for reading and trying to help. I'm a mess right now. We were so in love with this baby :(

[mammatanz]

I am so sorry for your loss. I have had 3 miscarriages, but they were all earlier than that, and I didn't need any interventions, everything cleared out on its own, sorry I cant help you with that. I have always been told to wait to try again until you have two regular periods, which is usually two months but can vary. Getting pregnant again can take different lengths of time,Which for me has been different each time. My first miscarrage happened at the same time I found out I was pregnant.  I just started bleeding really heavily and had to go to my dr. Where they told me what was going on. After that my husband and I were not trying to concieve for a while, and then started trying about a year and a half later and got pregnant with our daughter, she is 3 now and is amazing. We waited a while before teying again. And then got pregnant in November of 2012 and then had a miscarrage in December 2012 we waited two montha before trying again, and it took eight months from that point to get pregnant again which was October 2013 I then miscarried that one in November 2013. We waited two months and staryed trying again. It took two months from that point and I got pregnant in March and am currently 9 weeks. So it can vary on the length of time it takes to get pregnant again. One thing i can say is when the due date comes around it is an emotional day, for me anyways, it is another day of heartache and grieving. Let yourself grieve your loss now and on the due date. The thing that I find helpful is to talk about your experience with the miscarriage, there are tons of women out there that this happens too, but no one talks about it, it is like a taboo subject, but it doesnt have to be that way. I never knew that this was a common occurrence before I had my first miscarriage. I just always thought that you got pregnant and nine months later you had a baby. Before that I never knew that these aweful things could happen. I mean I never knew that it had happened to my mother until after my first miscarriage. Talk about it, it will help. Good luck and again I am so sorry for your loss.

[Numeral]

I had a miscarriage at 3months. The placenta didn't attach. Pretty upsetting.

[sagemae]

Geekmom1213 You are totally right on in saying sometimes you feel fine and then BOOM you feel back to square one. It really does sneak up on you.
AZmommy711-
On my babies due date I cut a piece of mine and my husbands' baby blankets. I also made a copy if the ultrasound (the only picture of my baby) along with the pregnant test I kept. I wrapped them up and took a hike into the mountains. I walked off the path when I felt I saw a good spot and climbed for a bit. There with the only noise bugs and birds I dug. I dug a hole with a small shovel and my hands. It placed the articles in the hole and gently filled the hole with my hands. It was very therapeutic. I sat there for awhile and felt the connection of it all. It was beautiful and so healing and wonderful closure. I've felt so much more at peace since I did this.I will always feel my son with me but the pain becomes different. You grieve. You always remember but like any lost the pain changes to love(if that makes sense).take it one day at a time and let youryourself grieve when you need to grieve.
For me everytime I had my period I would weep for what felt like hours. It was just a reminder I wasn't pregnant. I thought I would get pregnant before my baby's due date. After his due date I felt so much better and got pregnant that month (this last may).
    Understand many might not quite understand what you are going through and may say things to try and help not might just make you mad. Thats okay. Know they are failing but trying to make you feel better. When a woman shares her story ask her questions. Grab the support. Love yourself. Do nice things for yourself. You deserve it...you deserve it. ♡

[GeekMom1213]

I had a missed miscarriage in December at 11 weeks, it's interesting I've never heard it referred to as a d&a, that was the procedure I had but they still called it a d&c. It is much more emotionally taxing than physically. Give yourself time and space to grieve and know that it will not come all at once, that it will sneak up on you and hurt again when you're not expecting it to, and that's perfectly normal and okay. You are not alone.
The procedure isn't bad, truly. Depending on the doctor and the facility the protocols differ - the place I went, they were really insistent that I be put under general anesthesia. I said no. They wanted to do conscious anesthesia. I said no. It took serious self-advocacy to get what I wanted, but I went through it without meds. Told them if I could give birth to a nine pound baby without drugs I could handle a dilation. I wanted to be conscious. I didn't want to miss that - it was the last moments I would spend in what had been a very long-awaited and joyfully celebrated pregnancy. They gave me some ibuprofen and zofran through the (apparently not optional, trust me I tried) IV line after it was over, to help with cramping and the nausea that refused to quit even after finding out that the fetus wasn't growing or viable.
I was flat on the couch that night, crying and cursing my fate, but without too much pain. They gave me a script for Valium but I never filled it - ibuprofen was plenty. Mild cramping for a few days and bleeding for about ten days. Infection risk is low if the procedure is done properly - I've never heard of anyone having one.
My midwives counseled us to wait three months before trying again, to let my body and our hearts heal. We ended up waiting a bit longer, but I'm five weeks along now and due in February. Cautiously hoping for a better outcome this time, I will be happy to meet my rainbow baby.
Best of luck to you. I am so sorry you have to go through this. But you can come out the other side. Each day that passes is a little easier - except for the days when it all comes crashing down. But those become more rare with time. Let yourself hurt. Let yourself share that hurt with others. You will make it through to the other side.

[ftm502]

Im so sorry. God bless you and your family.

[azmommy711]

@sagemae thank you so much for your help. I'm so sorry for your loss as well. And You are so right, Just thinking about the due date makes me sad all over again. My hubby is taking the news just as bad and were both devasted. We were looking forward to our Xmas baby.

Thank you ladies..

[sagemae]

I'm so sorry lady. I had a missed miscarriage at 18 weeks and had to get a d&e. It wasn't really that bad because I was put under. I bled for about a month. it took me 6 months from the date of the miscarriage to get pregnant again. Finding out and then the baby's due date were the toughest parts. I suggest talking about it to people. You would be amazed how many people have gone through a miscarriage. You are not alone through this hard time. ♡

[tabygary]

I'm so sorry dear for your loss.I just pray that that procedure will went on well.sorry I also have on idea of that procedure

[MomCrystalB]

I'm sorry for your loss. I had a d&c done so not sure about the d&a but after my miscarriage I waited a while to try again. I would suggest at least 6 weeks but ask your doc to be sure. Good luck.

[azmommy711]

Thank you

[mama4times89]

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I have no help to offer but my prayers.  God bless you ♡