Conceiving when my daughters are 12???

[MissMom2]

I wasn't sure where to put this but I have twin 12 year old girls and I broke it off with the father when they were almost 2 years old. And since been with a guy for 10yrs. and he wants to have his own baby now. We have been for it for 3 months now and I keep thinking I shouldn't be doing this cuz my daughters are now 12 and is this right to try for another infant since there will be this (BIG) age gap between kids...
My daughters think I'm crazy and wondering if I really am crazy. I think I'm going to be 35 this year. I no when I think of poopy baby butts all over again and those all hours of the nights again, I wonder what I'm doing here. But then again, I understand him wanting his "own" baby as well...And yes, he treats my girls like there his own...He's great with them. And my daughters like him as well.
He's going to be 36...I just want to make sure I'm doing the right thing...I told him we could adopt but he says its not the same.

This all started pretty heavy for him when we had an accidental pregnancy and then lost it to a m/c in Sept. Now he is really hip on trying for a baby.  

[melimeli]

if you don´t totally want a child it is not fair bring a that child into the world... a child needs to be wanted more than anything in the world

[MissMom2]

Thank-You for all your responses...I truely enjoy reading all your post...And knowing that you ladies are out there trying as well or have had your babies already makes me feel better about going ahead with this for my other half.
I heard our one side of the family act like it was the end of the world when they found out we were pregnant last year before the m/c because I have kids the age I do and at the age I am. So it kind of brought me down in the dumps and made me really start thinking that maybe (they) were right.
But after reading your ladies post I think I can be more happy about this and go ahead threw with the baby making and not dwell on what the negative side of the family has to say. I'm sure once the baby was here they wouldn't be talking so negative then.
Well, will keep you posted on what happens...I'll be reading all your great post.

Good Luck to all you that are trying to become pregnant and Congrats to those that have delivered those little wee ones.

You ladies are great

[MommaX3]

Im so glad I found this site I already love all you guys but anyway....Im 6w3d im 36 and fiance is 40. I have a almost 13yr old and an 8 yr old. He asked me on 12/14/07 if I was ready to have another baby. I said yeah I would do it seein as how we are gettin married. I told him you know when you try to plan it...it doesnt happen the way you want it. 8 days later.....the day my period was due...just figured go get the test so I would know and could go ahead and predict my ovulation time for next month and poof that line couldnt have been any darker. My hubby to be has a 15yr old daughter from a previous relationship but missed out on so much of it. You are gonna make him soooooooo happy just make sure you are 100% in it. A gap in the years doesnt mean anything except you gotta SITTER hahaha. Will be looking for your post saying "IM PREGNANT"  

[Lastminutemama]

You're ONLY 35! I'll be 40 in two weeks and TTC for my first! I know many, many women in their late 30-ies/40-ies with adult children who want to have another baby! Go for it girl!

[saj39]

I wanted to respond to your post and say that I have a 12 year old, a 7 year old, and a 2 year old. They are al girls and my husband and I wanted to try for a boy. (correction, it was really alot more him than me in the beginning). Anyway, his father was terminally ill at the time with cancer and had always wanted to have a grandson to carry on the family name. We talked it over and decided to try even though I had reservations at first. Being 39, having a middle schooler, and a very active 2 year old. We started trying and severalmonths later I got pregnant. Well we are having another girl, but I couldn't be happier. I guess what I am saying is that its a decision that you have to make with your husband, but essentially most of the work falls on us as moms and I prayed over my decision and it really helped! Good luck and please feel free to emailme if you ever want to talk.

[Cyn2008]

Just make sure that YOU are totally on board.  It sounds to me that your not quite sure what you want yet.  Yes....  there will be the poopy diapers and up all nighters but you will also be compensated with happiness and joy.  I have a fourteen year old who thinks its weird that we are trying to have another but at the same time he loves our youngest which just turned two today.  They are little buddies.  I think its wise to take your daughters into consideration but this is an adult decision between you and the father to be.  When they are adults they will have he say when they themselves have kids. Just make sure your on board for the 18 plus year journey.  For you it would be like starting all over again but exciting at the same time.

[montie]

Ok, maybe I can make you feel better.  I will deliver at age 39.  When I deliver my youngest will be 12 and my oldest will be 18. My husbands daughter (my stepdaughter) will be almost 22.  No, this pregnancy wasn't planned and the age differences and starting over has really been something that I have had to overcome.  But, in the end, everyone tells me (and I know it's true) that this baby will be the blessing of a lifetime and that I will not ever be able to imagine my life without him.  Sheesh, I wish I was only 35!  

You are not crazy, and at least you don't have an 18 year old. I will be at my son's high school graduation with a brand new baby!

[Van73]

My kiddos will be 10 and 7 when my DS will be born.  you are ONLY 35!!!  It's not like you are 75!! lol  You're still young!

[pcarsey]

I think it's a great idea if that's what you want. I have a 17 yr old daughter and a 10 yr old son from a previous marriage. I am currently remarried and we are expecting a baby in May. Both of my children are so excited about it now. At first my daughter was asking me why on earth I would want to have another baby when her and her brother were so much older. I wanted to have another child with my new husband because he has no children of his own and he takes better care of the two I have now more so then their father could ever dream of. My husband and I are both 35, will be 36 when we have this baby. I had my daughter at 18, my son at 25 and this one I will be 36. There is a huge age gap but in all reality, I feel as though I am much more relaxed and definitely more financially stable this time round.

Good Luck on whatever you choose!!

Patty

[lynda544]

Hello. I had my first child at 37 when my stepson was 12. I actually think it made all of us a little closer (until the stepson turned 16-oh those teenage years). I think it also helped me to be a better stepmother, and feel closer and special to my husband. I think you are doing the right thing for yourself and your husband. I know lots of women who have babies at 36. In fact, at the school my children attend most of the women gave birth around 30-40.