sueallen

I am 42 years old very healthy, have 3 beautiful children. My partner is 52. We have been trying to have a baby for over 2 years. I have had several miscarrages which is so sad. Today my partner and I saw a Fertility Doctor and she basically told us that my eggs were propable no good anymore and that my partner being 52 even though he has a great sperm count of 158 million the doctor said that his sperm was probably no good either. We came home totally dispared. Are there any other couples our age with the same problem or are there some successful stories out there?

[40smama]

I can relate to your problem.  Two years ago, my husband and I started to our journey ttc (I have children from a previous marriage - he has none).  We started w/ivf using my own eggs & it failed (my ovaries failed to respond).  She suggested donor eggs & it worked.  You might want to consider it.  I too am 44 & very healthy.  I don't know anything about the sperm part however.  Can they do ICSI (I think that's what it is called)?  Some of the other ladies have been through this particular process & it has worked.  Good luck & keep in touch!

[sueallen]

Thanks for your reply it was quite exciting to receive a reply, as i thought i was the only one out there lol. So does that mean finally you are actually pregnant? if so how far are you and how is the pregnancy going? I was a little bit frightened when the doctor explained how the ivf procedures work. My ovaries seem to be ok, I seem to ovulate without any problems and am sure my eggs actually get fertilised, but my whom does seem to hold them, so I misscarry.  I asked the doctor about taking progesterone tablets but she said my progesterone level was great. ahhhhhhhhh do you think it could be that perhaps, even though my eggs are fertilizing, that the embreyo is just not forming properly? and if this is the reason, then could it be that i am not compatable with my partner (he has 2 older sons) or that my eggs are acturally no good? Thanks and please keep intouch too  Sueallen

[40smama]

You are asking some great questions so I'll do my best to tell you what I've learned from reading on the fertility board to the questions that the doctor has answered & what my own re told me.  I am pregnant - 5 w 3 d so so far so good.  My hcg has doubled every 48 hours as it's suppose to & the next step is for a sonogram at 7 weeks.  It's good that your ovaries are good and the eggs can get fertilized; however, look on the fertility forum in the archives & the doctor talkes about the rate of miscarriage in women our age using our own eggs.  The rate really sucks & if I had had that info ahead of time before the 1st ivf, I would've definitely gone straight to donor eggs.  However on the brighter side, my own re had a baby at 43 & she had a patient that age that had a successful ivf w/her own eggs & ended up w/triplets so there's hope!  So definitely there's hope for everyone of that age - just not for someone like me who's eggs are obviously not working very well.  

Talk to your re & explore all of your options.  I think that donor eggs are something you might want to consider & obviously barring there's no other problem as to why you're miscarrying you'll be successful!!  Write back to me if you have any more questions or even you can explore that fertility forum in ask the doctor part & look at the archives.  There's two questions that might be of interest of you:  donor eggs vs my eggs & oh gosh something else about donor eggs.  No matter what, post back & let me know how you're doing & what decision you make!  Good luck to you!

[mature momma]

You are not alone. I am 46 and husband is 40. We've been ttc for a year now. Married 11/2 years with no children. We tried several rounds of clomid with HCG injections which did not work. All of my blood work and test on my ovaries came back great so my RE said we could try IVF with my eggs once to see if it would work which it did not. Its sad but as we age we not only have fewer eggs but eggs of poor quality. A double whammy. We are now doing IVF with donor eggs which has a great success rate. You should speak to your RE about trying this. Your huband must have some good sperm and if so ICSI would be a great help. We used that with our first IVF and got all our eggs to fertilize. If not, use a sperm and egg donor. There is also a website called "miracleswaiting" which has embryos people doing IVF have left over and they donate them to help couples make their dreams come true. This is also a lot less expense than donor IVF. Check it out. What ever you do , don't give up on your dream of having a child. We are all here for you, anytime you need someone to talk to just write. The words here can give you so much comfort. Keep your head up.  Debra:):)