5month pregnanat and lot of problems

[mayamenon30]

i am 5 months pregnant and today i came to know its a "girl" . But the problem is they told us the baby has 2 holes in her heart and heart beat is very low and also only one valve instead of 2 valves.Then also they are doubting about the brain damage. What should i do? they are waiting for some more result and they will tell me i need to terminate or keep the baby (may ne still birth) or after delivery death. there id another option that minimum4 or 5 surgery for the baby after birth. If you all are in my position what you all will do? i cant make decision.

[mayamenon30]

Thanks for everybody's openion. I am going for second openion.

[niki_beth]

Oh hun, I'm so sorry. The only advice I can give you is to do what it best for you and your family. I will keep you in my prayers! (((hugs)))

[martikadragoon]

and now I'm crying. :)  I wanted to also add to my last post, I had a prenatal diagnoses of Down Syndrome with my son. I knew at 17 weeks. I was 21 years old at the time, and scared but I couldn't even consider termination. it's not for me. Its the best choice we ever made. Even though he spent 3 long months in the hospital on his deathbed 1/2 the time he pulled through. My husband and I also made it through. We have been married almost 4 yrs and this made us stronger as a couple. :) We're on #2 now and I'm due xmas. i'm waiting on amnio results right now.

[martikadragoon]

From EXPERIENCE I can tell you. Babies with heart problems do have challenges since some require surgeries, but it does not mean that they can't survive.

my son TJ was born with 2 small ASD holes and a HUGE VSD hole in his heart. He has down syndrome as well so we knew to look for heart issues after our diagnoses. He had open heart surgery at 10w old, and dealt with some infections afterward, which are RARE to occur as severely as they did in him. he was considered already immunocompromised meaning he could get infections easier than other ppl. The surgeon said when he looked at the VSD he was suprised a baby so small could even be awake enough to feed at all by mouth, but my son did.
All together he had what was considered 3 separate sugeries/procedures all before he was 4 months old. But my little man lived, and is doing great! He's %100 healthy.

Also I've known mommies of babies with HLHS, or HRHS, these babies require surgery usually the day they are born, and have a very small chance for survival. They then need 2 more surgeries at least for their lives to be saved. A mommie I met at the ronald mcdonald house where we stayed after TJ was born (the hospital was an hour away) had a son with that. She knew it before he was born and still decided to keep him. He also had risk of brain damage, due to lack of blood flow. But, I saw her a few months ago and her little man is STRONG, HEALTHY, and a smart little guy!


Get a 2nd opinion. Doctors are so quick to write pregnancies off as needing to be terminated if there's something wrong. Good luck in whatever you decide. I would urge you, even though the road won't be easy, stick with your baby girl. Because in the end you both will be stronger for it. I know I am.

[worriedbabe]

i agree with the others, this is your decision and no one can make it for you. if it happened to me, i WOULD give the baby every chance to live and refuse a termination. i've heard of too many cases where parents have terminated only to learn the baby was healthy. i've also heard of cases where babies have been born, defied the odds and survived. i'd make that decision knowing that my baby might not survive. it is a really difficult situation and i am so sorry you are going through it. definitely get a 2nd opinion as someone else mentioned and make the right choice for YOU.

[JoyRenee]

I know someone who went through this (not sure on the specifics of the heart condition their baby had). They decided to not end their daughter's life while she was in the womb but to let her live as long as she was able. The mother gave birth to her (I believe via c-section as it was less stress on baby). They got to hold their daughter for 3 hours before she quietly passed away.

So it is up to you- to terminate her life of your own free will, or to let her go peacefully when her body decides it is time. Either way it VERY VERY VERY difficult and I am so very sorry you're in this position.

If you want the link to that woman's blog I can give it to you privately. I'm not allowed to post it on the main forum. Just let me know. Perhaps by reading their story it will give you some things to consider and help you to make a decision.

[jenkaye21]

So sorry you have to face this tough decision.  I'm sorry, the only advice I can really give you is to get a second opinion-- another ultrasound from another doctor--  before you do anything.  Mistakes are TOO common.

[Nini2686]

Honestly this is a hard decision that only you can make. I'm sorry that you have to make this decision. I am 29 weeks pregannat and this pregnacy has many ups and downs for me as well. I was told at 12 weeks I should terminate due to some (incorrect) birth defects that they thought my baby had. I decided not to terminate becuase I don't believe in it. Now I am 7 months pregnant with a healthy girl. I would not terminate if I were you. 5 months ago is pretty far along and it is a baby. Hopefully the baby will be ok and if you need to have surgery after the baby is born.