Aa
Going NUTS! Please help....
Okay so I posted this question and concearn on the child behavior forums without any reply thus far. Im at a total loss when it comes to my 2 year old. My doc seems to think all is normal and he is mentally okay, but im having a different feeling as far as that goes. This may be long and I apologise in advance.
My youngest son at 2 has horrid tantrums, they aren't even tantrums so to speak, I call them anger issues. He hates not being allowed to get away with anything, and he doesn't like time out but never learns from it either. Here recently like about 4 hours ago, we were outside playing with the neighbors kids they are the same ages as my 2 boys. My son has a habit of going in the road, and I know as his mother I must teach him not to go in the street, well his ball had went in the road, and as he was going to get it I told him to stop and he didnt listen, he kept running towards the road, so my pregnant butt had to haul a$$ to catch him as a car was coming. I grabbed his arm and said Aiden baby you cant go in the road you will get owies, mommy doesn't want you getting owies, and he decides that since he cannot go in the road, he will do his usual fit, he bashed his head off the concrete and cracked his head open.
Hubby is at the ER with him as we speak, I had to stay with my older son. Anyways, when he isn't allowed to do something he wants to do he smacks his head off the floors, walls, anything he can find, he also throws himself on the floor, throws whatever he has in his hand, beings his sippy cup, plate of food ect...
I cant even give him a normal cup to drink out of anymore, because if he gets mad I will be wearing milk and scrubbing it off the floor and ceilings. He does stuff he KNOWS he isnt supposed to do, such as play with the glass siding door, I cant even begin to tell you how many times he has gotten his fingers pinched or stuck. He goes near my stove when im cooking and says *HOT* but still attempts to touch it, and he has been badly burned twice already.
Timeout isn't working, he doesnt seem to learn anything from timeout, so we started slapping his hands if he goes to touch something he isn't supposed to, such as the stove, and he still doesnt learn from that either. I will admitt through tears that there have been times me and hubby almost lost all composure and beat the hell out of him thinking that maybe he will learn, but thankfully we were able to retain frusterations.
My older son at 2 he is 4 now, was talking in full sentences, using a regular cup when not using his sippy, was potty trained and it was so easy with him, he knew what he could and couldnt do, and if he wanted to do something or have something he always asked with manners, he was an over all easy kid and still is. He has his fits but not an everyday thing 50 to 100 fits a day(not exagerating).
We tried to get Aiden ready for being potty trained, and we sat him on the potty and everything, well I guess he got it in his head that since he was sitting on the potty now he could play with it, well my poor hubby just spent 1200 bucks on fixing the bathroom plumbing and a new camode, because he has stuck so much **** down there, and you would think after being diciplined for it once or twice he would learn, well he didnt hence why he had to get a new toilet.
Im just at such a loss, nothing seems to work, I tried spending lots more time playing with him because I thought he was just bored, well that wasn't it either, I have tried till I was blue in the face to explain why not to do things and why he is in time out.
I just know things are going to be a handful if I dont get something done, because im expecting my baby in october, and Aiden cannot be trusted to be alone period, not even in his own room, we had to set up cameras in his room because he has already broke 2 windows. He has no toys or books, his clothes aren't even in his room. He has a mattress he sleeps on because he demolished his brand new bed, and thats it.
Any opinions or help or advice would be sooooooooooo appreciated. Im at such a loss, and feel like such a horrible mother.
My youngest son at 2 has horrid tantrums, they aren't even tantrums so to speak, I call them anger issues. He hates not being allowed to get away with anything, and he doesn't like time out but never learns from it either. Here recently like about 4 hours ago, we were outside playing with the neighbors kids they are the same ages as my 2 boys. My son has a habit of going in the road, and I know as his mother I must teach him not to go in the street, well his ball had went in the road, and as he was going to get it I told him to stop and he didnt listen, he kept running towards the road, so my pregnant butt had to haul a$$ to catch him as a car was coming. I grabbed his arm and said Aiden baby you cant go in the road you will get owies, mommy doesn't want you getting owies, and he decides that since he cannot go in the road, he will do his usual fit, he bashed his head off the concrete and cracked his head open.
Hubby is at the ER with him as we speak, I had to stay with my older son. Anyways, when he isn't allowed to do something he wants to do he smacks his head off the floors, walls, anything he can find, he also throws himself on the floor, throws whatever he has in his hand, beings his sippy cup, plate of food ect...
I cant even give him a normal cup to drink out of anymore, because if he gets mad I will be wearing milk and scrubbing it off the floor and ceilings. He does stuff he KNOWS he isnt supposed to do, such as play with the glass siding door, I cant even begin to tell you how many times he has gotten his fingers pinched or stuck. He goes near my stove when im cooking and says *HOT* but still attempts to touch it, and he has been badly burned twice already.
Timeout isn't working, he doesnt seem to learn anything from timeout, so we started slapping his hands if he goes to touch something he isn't supposed to, such as the stove, and he still doesnt learn from that either. I will admitt through tears that there have been times me and hubby almost lost all composure and beat the hell out of him thinking that maybe he will learn, but thankfully we were able to retain frusterations.
My older son at 2 he is 4 now, was talking in full sentences, using a regular cup when not using his sippy, was potty trained and it was so easy with him, he knew what he could and couldnt do, and if he wanted to do something or have something he always asked with manners, he was an over all easy kid and still is. He has his fits but not an everyday thing 50 to 100 fits a day(not exagerating).
We tried to get Aiden ready for being potty trained, and we sat him on the potty and everything, well I guess he got it in his head that since he was sitting on the potty now he could play with it, well my poor hubby just spent 1200 bucks on fixing the bathroom plumbing and a new camode, because he has stuck so much **** down there, and you would think after being diciplined for it once or twice he would learn, well he didnt hence why he had to get a new toilet.
Im just at such a loss, nothing seems to work, I tried spending lots more time playing with him because I thought he was just bored, well that wasn't it either, I have tried till I was blue in the face to explain why not to do things and why he is in time out.
I just know things are going to be a handful if I dont get something done, because im expecting my baby in october, and Aiden cannot be trusted to be alone period, not even in his own room, we had to set up cameras in his room because he has already broke 2 windows. He has no toys or books, his clothes aren't even in his room. He has a mattress he sleeps on because he demolished his brand new bed, and thats it.
Any opinions or help or advice would be sooooooooooo appreciated. Im at such a loss, and feel like such a horrible mother.
i hope you don't leave because of this. You are not a bad mother. And not getting to bed on time is not the issue either, of course you knew that as well. For one you are trying to get answers and help for your child ,who we can see you love. Being a parent is the toughest part of life , though it comes with joys ,there are also trials. I've been a mother for almost 12 years and i wish i could say it gets easier, i can't. And don't stress over one comment, you can overcome this i'm sure. I wish i had an answer for you but sleep can't solve everything. I also know someone who had this problem, there advice would be ignore it. And of course that would be silly. We have a friend that has a really advanced autistic child who is 13 now. However we've only known him a few years. But he is always on the go and you can tell him a hundred times to stop and he doesn't. For instance he was over the other day and he kept going in the house where my dog is and she hates kids, he was told to stop over 50 times no joke. And it was like he heard go ahead. His dad would smack him and grab his face and squeeze it and he still would not listen. He is very bright and has a very big imagination. But he doesnt seem to have the ability to stop his bad actions and i'm sure he would say that he was like this as a kid. I hope this helps you. Hang in there .There are people on this forum who want to help you ..
Not once did I say you are a horrible mother.
I also did not say that changing his bed time would *fix* him.
I completely agree that it sounds as if he may have a problem.
I did however say, that if he was not tired you would have a better chance of him behaving. You would also have a better chance of him listening to you.
Note that I said better chance. Not that I think it will fix your problems.
I just thought that I would help with the one problem that I could see that you have that might assist you to deal with his undesirable behaviour in other areas...
I also did not say that changing his bed time would *fix* him.
I completely agree that it sounds as if he may have a problem.
I did however say, that if he was not tired you would have a better chance of him behaving. You would also have a better chance of him listening to you.
Note that I said better chance. Not that I think it will fix your problems.
I just thought that I would help with the one problem that I could see that you have that might assist you to deal with his undesirable behaviour in other areas...
No, no offense taken at all, and I didnt mean to sound as if I was being uncooperative..
All im saying is that the bedtime thing we have tried, over and over as it was something already suggested to us by our pediatrician. If these tantrums were simply because he was tired....he would be asleep all day, and I mean all day long in order for him to function or not have the tantrums. We have tried laying with him which seems to **** him off twice as much, which is how I got a busted lip tonight, he decided to pelt me in the face with his sippy cup. He throws a fit because he doesn't want to go to bed, which is understandable because most kids don't, especially after being on a specific schedule for so long.
Second, I didn't particularly(sp) care for how you had worded your first post, I do not need someone shoving their thoughts or beliefs down my throat. Yes, I did ask for opinions, and the bedtime thing was a thought, which I had blantly said that I have tried it before. I do not like when people sit there and bash me or make it sound as im a horrible mother, Im not a horrible mother, and if I wasn't thinking of my sons happiness or wellbeing, do you think I would have even bothered asking for opinions, calling doctors for evaluations and so forth?
I know deep down inside that something is wrong other than his bedtime or being tired. You do not know my children, and do not live in my household so therefore telling me what my kids *NEED or WANT* is insignificant to my issue. My son has had these outbursts since birth, he would hold his breath when he cried for so long he would pass out and turn blue, that to me is NOT NORMAL. I know what normal tired tantrums are, He is by far my 1st child. When he is violent to himself then there is something wrong, wether it be him not being able to exert his frusterations in a different way or if holding his breath so many times and passing out so much caused some type of issue with him.
Its like telling someone who mutilates themselves such as cutting and burning is because their tired...or depressed...you dont always try to treat that **** at home, you usually take the person to a doctor who specializes in that manner. I had a reply by the doctor on the child behavior forum that agrees with me that something cognitive is wrong, and these are not NORMAL OUTBURSTS, so him doing it out of being sleepy is far from his issue.
I have tried the *open door* when he goes to sleep BUT that came to a quick hault when he literally tried to cook breakfast. He doesn't come in and wake you up when he is awake, and he can be surprisingly sneaky, there were numerous times we gave him chances with it and it ended because his life and safety was in danger. Not only that but my bedroom is on a complete level of my house, and I have had to make sacrifices in order to keep my kids safe because of how my house is.
Im going to take my schedule to the doctors at the childrens hospital when he goes in on Tuesday for his evaluations, I in all honesty do not think he lashes out because he is tired, he will lash out as soon as he wakes up, if he is given a reason, such as not being able to get what he wants.
I appreciate everyones opinions and suggestions, but I think from now on im going to rely on a doctor. I am also leaving this forum, I come here for advice and help, and not be lashed out at by people who don't get their ways, I get that enough here at home. I came here to have a community to talk to about being pregnant and at home concearns, not be told how horrible of a mother I am by someone who doesnt know me or my family.
To the rest, thank you for everything and I mean it. I hope those TTC get those little miracles they are hoping for, and those who are soon to be mommies get to hold their bubs in their arms soon (when baby is done cooking). Good luck everyone and farewell.
All im saying is that the bedtime thing we have tried, over and over as it was something already suggested to us by our pediatrician. If these tantrums were simply because he was tired....he would be asleep all day, and I mean all day long in order for him to function or not have the tantrums. We have tried laying with him which seems to **** him off twice as much, which is how I got a busted lip tonight, he decided to pelt me in the face with his sippy cup. He throws a fit because he doesn't want to go to bed, which is understandable because most kids don't, especially after being on a specific schedule for so long.
Second, I didn't particularly(sp) care for how you had worded your first post, I do not need someone shoving their thoughts or beliefs down my throat. Yes, I did ask for opinions, and the bedtime thing was a thought, which I had blantly said that I have tried it before. I do not like when people sit there and bash me or make it sound as im a horrible mother, Im not a horrible mother, and if I wasn't thinking of my sons happiness or wellbeing, do you think I would have even bothered asking for opinions, calling doctors for evaluations and so forth?
I know deep down inside that something is wrong other than his bedtime or being tired. You do not know my children, and do not live in my household so therefore telling me what my kids *NEED or WANT* is insignificant to my issue. My son has had these outbursts since birth, he would hold his breath when he cried for so long he would pass out and turn blue, that to me is NOT NORMAL. I know what normal tired tantrums are, He is by far my 1st child. When he is violent to himself then there is something wrong, wether it be him not being able to exert his frusterations in a different way or if holding his breath so many times and passing out so much caused some type of issue with him.
Its like telling someone who mutilates themselves such as cutting and burning is because their tired...or depressed...you dont always try to treat that **** at home, you usually take the person to a doctor who specializes in that manner. I had a reply by the doctor on the child behavior forum that agrees with me that something cognitive is wrong, and these are not NORMAL OUTBURSTS, so him doing it out of being sleepy is far from his issue.
I have tried the *open door* when he goes to sleep BUT that came to a quick hault when he literally tried to cook breakfast. He doesn't come in and wake you up when he is awake, and he can be surprisingly sneaky, there were numerous times we gave him chances with it and it ended because his life and safety was in danger. Not only that but my bedroom is on a complete level of my house, and I have had to make sacrifices in order to keep my kids safe because of how my house is.
Im going to take my schedule to the doctors at the childrens hospital when he goes in on Tuesday for his evaluations, I in all honesty do not think he lashes out because he is tired, he will lash out as soon as he wakes up, if he is given a reason, such as not being able to get what he wants.
I appreciate everyones opinions and suggestions, but I think from now on im going to rely on a doctor. I am also leaving this forum, I come here for advice and help, and not be lashed out at by people who don't get their ways, I get that enough here at home. I came here to have a community to talk to about being pregnant and at home concearns, not be told how horrible of a mother I am by someone who doesnt know me or my family.
To the rest, thank you for everything and I mean it. I hope those TTC get those little miracles they are hoping for, and those who are soon to be mommies get to hold their bubs in their arms soon (when baby is done cooking). Good luck everyone and farewell.
Seems to me that is exactly what his issue is. He is a tired child that needs sleep. You said you are having trouble controlling him.
DO NOT LET HIM DECIDE WHEN HIS BED TIME IS!!!
YOU ARE THE PARENT!!!
You need to get control of your children back!
Here is a plan that works. It is reccomended by many sleep therapists.
Start off by holding him in his bed. If you can't, get your husband to.
Once you have done it for 1-2 weeks he will accept that there is no point fighting it.
After that, sit next to his bed in a chair watching him until he goes to sleep.
Once that works, over a few weeks slowly move the chair out of the room.
Spend a few nights with the chair in the doorway and then start sitting in the chair just outside of the room where he can't see you.
Every time you hear him get up, go and put him back in bed. Do it straight away.
He won't be able to see you, but he will know that you are there and WILL come instantly and will accept that there is no point doing anything but laying quietly in bed.
Once he is used to that, he will start relaxing and going to sleep.
If he acts up again, start back at the beginning. If you need to then read a book to help you pass time. It will likely take hours to begin with.
Never shut the child's door when they sleep. You will not be able to see or hear what they are doing, and most children then feel it is ok to get out of bed and play.
You need to take control back.
Starting with getting your children to sleep properly, to give them a chance to be able to stop being naughty. Until you have changed their sleeping pattern, their behaviour is not their fault. They are tired.
You can take offence from this post if you like, but I didn't write it to have a go at you. I wrote this to help you and your kids. Your situation sounds difficult. Here is a chance to change your situation. It is up to you whether you take it. I won't know either way.
Let me ask you this though, what if I am right ???
Are you willing to try what I've said and see if it works?
If I were you, I would try anything that even MIGHT work. Not only do you have your children's happiness to think about, but the safety of your baby's life. They are in your hands...
DO NOT LET HIM DECIDE WHEN HIS BED TIME IS!!!
YOU ARE THE PARENT!!!
You need to get control of your children back!
Here is a plan that works. It is reccomended by many sleep therapists.
Start off by holding him in his bed. If you can't, get your husband to.
Once you have done it for 1-2 weeks he will accept that there is no point fighting it.
After that, sit next to his bed in a chair watching him until he goes to sleep.
Once that works, over a few weeks slowly move the chair out of the room.
Spend a few nights with the chair in the doorway and then start sitting in the chair just outside of the room where he can't see you.
Every time you hear him get up, go and put him back in bed. Do it straight away.
He won't be able to see you, but he will know that you are there and WILL come instantly and will accept that there is no point doing anything but laying quietly in bed.
Once he is used to that, he will start relaxing and going to sleep.
If he acts up again, start back at the beginning. If you need to then read a book to help you pass time. It will likely take hours to begin with.
Never shut the child's door when they sleep. You will not be able to see or hear what they are doing, and most children then feel it is ok to get out of bed and play.
You need to take control back.
Starting with getting your children to sleep properly, to give them a chance to be able to stop being naughty. Until you have changed their sleeping pattern, their behaviour is not their fault. They are tired.
You can take offence from this post if you like, but I didn't write it to have a go at you. I wrote this to help you and your kids. Your situation sounds difficult. Here is a chance to change your situation. It is up to you whether you take it. I won't know either way.
Let me ask you this though, what if I am right ???
Are you willing to try what I've said and see if it works?
If I were you, I would try anything that even MIGHT work. Not only do you have your children's happiness to think about, but the safety of your baby's life. They are in your hands...
Atlantasea(sp)
The reason my boys go to bed so late at 10pm is A) because if I put them to bed when they are not tired, they sit in their rooms till 2 to 3am playing because they aren't wore out. And B) because it doesnt start getting dark here in the summer till 9pm and my kids will not sleep when it is still light out.
If I let them sleep to much, then it isn't fair to them because they don't get to spend a whole lot of time playing, and it's not like my kids aren't getting naps either. I have tried to put them to bed at 9pm but like I said they get into their toys, books ect...and play around in their rooms until they play themselves to sleep, and I would honestly like to have them out here with me until they do get tired, because I don't feel like paying another 500 bucks for a new window.
Also my son cannot go to school till he is 6 due to his birth month, and if he was so disadvantaged due to going to bed at 10pm he wouldnt be able to do some of the stuff some 6 year olds can do, my son has actually been evaluated at a 1st graders level when he had his preschool evaluations, and preschool wouldnt take him here because he is far more advanced then those in the class.
My 4 yr old isn't even a concearn at this time anyways, and going to bed earlier at 8 or 9pm would be okay to consider but it isn't going to fix my issues, thats how I ended up with 2 broken windows, We put Aiden to bed at 7:30pm one night because he didn't take a nap, and he didnt want to go to bed and he decided to chuck his sippy through the window. The second time he had a nap, but I had to be up at 5am and the kids had to be up as well so we put them to bed early, and Aiden didn't like it and took a toy truck and beat the window until it finally broke.
Like I said before, you can't force a child to go to bed...if they aren't tired they wont sleep reguardless, and im def. not the type to be slipping my kids a bit of benedryl in their cups to make them sleep. If I ware them out by 10pm then they go right to bed with no questions asked and no midnight playing, but if I put them to bed early they sit there until 3am doing whatever they can get their lil hands on.
It's 8:09pm here, we tried laying Aiden down early, and im sitting here with a busted lip because of it, so I doubt going to bed at 10pm is his issue.
The reason my boys go to bed so late at 10pm is A) because if I put them to bed when they are not tired, they sit in their rooms till 2 to 3am playing because they aren't wore out. And B) because it doesnt start getting dark here in the summer till 9pm and my kids will not sleep when it is still light out.
If I let them sleep to much, then it isn't fair to them because they don't get to spend a whole lot of time playing, and it's not like my kids aren't getting naps either. I have tried to put them to bed at 9pm but like I said they get into their toys, books ect...and play around in their rooms until they play themselves to sleep, and I would honestly like to have them out here with me until they do get tired, because I don't feel like paying another 500 bucks for a new window.
Also my son cannot go to school till he is 6 due to his birth month, and if he was so disadvantaged due to going to bed at 10pm he wouldnt be able to do some of the stuff some 6 year olds can do, my son has actually been evaluated at a 1st graders level when he had his preschool evaluations, and preschool wouldnt take him here because he is far more advanced then those in the class.
My 4 yr old isn't even a concearn at this time anyways, and going to bed earlier at 8 or 9pm would be okay to consider but it isn't going to fix my issues, thats how I ended up with 2 broken windows, We put Aiden to bed at 7:30pm one night because he didn't take a nap, and he didnt want to go to bed and he decided to chuck his sippy through the window. The second time he had a nap, but I had to be up at 5am and the kids had to be up as well so we put them to bed early, and Aiden didn't like it and took a toy truck and beat the window until it finally broke.
Like I said before, you can't force a child to go to bed...if they aren't tired they wont sleep reguardless, and im def. not the type to be slipping my kids a bit of benedryl in their cups to make them sleep. If I ware them out by 10pm then they go right to bed with no questions asked and no midnight playing, but if I put them to bed early they sit there until 3am doing whatever they can get their lil hands on.
It's 8:09pm here, we tried laying Aiden down early, and im sitting here with a busted lip because of it, so I doubt going to bed at 10pm is his issue.
My little brother had horrible temper tantrums at that age (not banging head though) and parents took him to psychiatrist to get checked up, the first thing the psych said was to have a bedtime of 7-8pm that way he can sleep and be rested by the morning. After my parents did that, he got much much better. I do think however that he has a little bit of OCD but he's been spoiled rotten so he knows that throwing a good tantrum will get his way.
I know your son is really young for this, but my friends brother did almost the same things when he was that young - busting windows, burns.... first he was diagnosed with ADHD but then finally found out it was really bipolar disorder as they do not understand cause and effect. I hope the docs can figure something out as I don't think this is normal behavior... I wish you much luck and let us know if anything else comes up. How is DS doing since the incident yesterday?
Good Luck
Hugs :)
Good Luck
Hugs :)
Hey, I read your original post and the second comment, but not all of the replies.. Just wanted to say that first..
I just wanted to say that my brother had similiar issues growing up, with the tantrums and not listening no matter how many times you tell him, and the poor speach/development and such. He is autistic. He used to jump up and just drop on the floor, bit his hands.. and things like that. I'm not sure if your son is that extreme but it does sound like he may have some type of developmental disorder. I'm assuming you're already considering getting it checked out.. But I just wanted to throw that in there. It really does sound like something of the Autism Spectrum Disorders. Perhaps Aspergers if not Autism..
I just wanted to say that my brother had similiar issues growing up, with the tantrums and not listening no matter how many times you tell him, and the poor speach/development and such. He is autistic. He used to jump up and just drop on the floor, bit his hands.. and things like that. I'm not sure if your son is that extreme but it does sound like he may have some type of developmental disorder. I'm assuming you're already considering getting it checked out.. But I just wanted to throw that in there. It really does sound like something of the Autism Spectrum Disorders. Perhaps Aspergers if not Autism..
I found this on a site about milestones of childhood:
Sleep
* In general, an afternoon nap is still required by most 2-year-olds.
* The child should sleep in his or her own bed if feasible. (Discuss the move from a crib to a regular bed with your child's doctor.)
* A 2-year-old's bedtime is usually between 7 p.m. and 8 p.m. Certain sleep problems are common during this time, including refusing to go to bed, getting out of bed and wandering around the house at night, and night terrors and nightmares.
I too agree that bedtime should be earlier however I don't think it will solve your problems...
Sleep
* In general, an afternoon nap is still required by most 2-year-olds.
* The child should sleep in his or her own bed if feasible. (Discuss the move from a crib to a regular bed with your child's doctor.)
* A 2-year-old's bedtime is usually between 7 p.m. and 8 p.m. Certain sleep problems are common during this time, including refusing to go to bed, getting out of bed and wandering around the house at night, and night terrors and nightmares.
I too agree that bedtime should be earlier however I don't think it will solve your problems...
I'm with Atlantisea. My boys are 3 &1/2 and 5 and they are always in bed between 8-9pm and wake at about 8:30 am. They have never had any tantrum problems, but just thought I would comment on the bedtime. Good luck!
Besides, if you don't start getting them to bed earlier, the older child will be disadvantaged when he goes to school. He needs to be fresh and rested to learn..
I just wanted to ask,
Why are your 4yr old and 2yr old staying up until 10pm at night???
Maybe that is the problem..
They should be in bed at 8pm. 8.30 at the latest.
Why don't you give that a try for 2 weeks? I don't behave my best when I am tired either...
Why are your 4yr old and 2yr old staying up until 10pm at night???
Maybe that is the problem..
They should be in bed at 8pm. 8.30 at the latest.
Why don't you give that a try for 2 weeks? I don't behave my best when I am tired either...
Thats sounds exactly like my sister, she has a light case of asperges syndrome. If you took a toy off her even as a baby she would smack her head so hard against the floor and make it bleed. When mum said no, she would just catapult onto the floor and start smashing her head. We even had it on camera which we think is funny to watch now because shes 18, but wasn't at the time.
First let me say I am sorry your son got hurt and has not learned yet. I have a 4 yrold daughter and a 2yr old son. My son can be like that at times. Not quite that drastic but none the less a mess. The first thing I have noticed is sleep. If they dont get enough sleep it makes things hard on everyone. His doctor told me to let him sleep a minimum of 10 hrs per night, but no more than 11 1/2 and still let him have 1-2 hrs nap about mid day. Also with you being pregnant and with another boy he is going to want alot of attention, and he will want to act out. Sometimes I have to spend 1 on 1 time just the 2 of us doing what he likes to do so to let him know that even with another baby coming plus his older sibling that I still love him and have time for just me and him. I have noticed a big difference. One last thing is taking him to play with groups of children helps alot as well. Naturally they have their "fights" but he seems to be calming down. If you have smart start programs where you live, they have free child time play and learning which would be great for both of your kids. My 2 love it and I get to talk with other mommies. Good Luck to you both.........
i think he may be rebelling againts your routine, try slacking for a week and see if his attitude improves?
Tabitha-
Well the way I got hubby to do his part, was by me going on strike 2 yers ago lol. He never helped with dishes, laundry, cleaning...nothing. He would literally wake up, eat, and play his video games all day while I would do everything. So one day when I asked him to take the trash out, which it ended up not happening until 3 days after I asked, I went on strike.
He had to deal with my older son, he had to cook, he had to clean he had to do everything while I did nothing but read, take nice long baths, and watch lifetime lol. He said it was a lot harder than he thought and that he would help out more, ounce I got hubby on a routine everything ran smoothly.
I guess I can let the routine stuff down a bit with the kids to see how Aiden reacts to it, it's worth a try especially if it might help him. If it doesnt help, I will go back to my routines and try something else. If all else fails...I will just start bashing my head off stuff so aiden can get a good laugh lol
Well the way I got hubby to do his part, was by me going on strike 2 yers ago lol. He never helped with dishes, laundry, cleaning...nothing. He would literally wake up, eat, and play his video games all day while I would do everything. So one day when I asked him to take the trash out, which it ended up not happening until 3 days after I asked, I went on strike.
He had to deal with my older son, he had to cook, he had to clean he had to do everything while I did nothing but read, take nice long baths, and watch lifetime lol. He said it was a lot harder than he thought and that he would help out more, ounce I got hubby on a routine everything ran smoothly.
I guess I can let the routine stuff down a bit with the kids to see how Aiden reacts to it, it's worth a try especially if it might help him. If it doesnt help, I will go back to my routines and try something else. If all else fails...I will just start bashing my head off stuff so aiden can get a good laugh lol
Wow, I cant get my boys to pick up anything!! Its always me, I am so tired of constanly picking up after everyone, my hubby included!! Do you have some kind of magic wand??? I need one!!
wow!! that is structured!! I have never been that organized, lol!! IDK maybe its too structured?? Maybe? IDK, just throwing some things out there...sounds great to me though, I need that in this house:) Its total caouse!!
I forgot to mention, I also have a different routine for the weekends, I allow my boys to slack on sundays, as I believe the christ rested on the 7th day and so should my family. We still go out and play, but they don't have any chores. They do their chores on saturdays which only consists of, cleaning their rooms, play room included, bringing me their laundry, and putting the folded clothes away.
Thank you everyone, atleast I know im not alone lol.
Tabitha- Yup another boy...3 boys im so out numbered lol.
Im kind of scared to take him to a shrink, im worried they will pass it off as add or adhd, which I know can be the cause because my hubby has the adult adhd. Im just not wanting my son doped up on drugs, and I know there is a different way to handle it. My image on certain medications is that it only covers up the issue and doesn't resolve anything.
And Nope he didnt learn from getting the stitches lol he came home and he wanted dinner so I made him a plate, well my boys do not get a drink of milk until after dinner, they get half a cup of water, they have a tendancy to fill up on their drinks instead of eating, so he asked for milk, and I told him after he ate, and once again he not only bashes his head off the table, but now I have to clean the broken glass and food off my floor...uhg. Im just so dumbfounded at his behavior because as I said my 4 yr old was NEVER like that at all. I will eventually figure it out and work through it though.
LosingmymindinGA- We are very structured and follow a strict routine, I have always been like that, I think my OCD plays a role in being so structured.
Here is our daily routine, maybe you gals can think of something I can add/change to make things better.
7am- Boys are up, make beds together, use the potty, wash hands
7:30- Eat breakfast, after they eat they get their milk or juice
8am- we brush our teeth, get dressed, wash hands
8:30-9:30- Learning time, we do numbers, letters, reading and so forth
9:30- Snack time
10am- We are outside playing
12pm- Wash hands, have lunch
12:30pm- 30 min of cartoons
1pm- Nap time
3pm- wake up from our naps, and have a snack
3:30pm- Back outside to play, or to the park
5pm- We come in, wash hands and get ready for dinner, boys get to play inside until dinner is done.
6pm- We have dinner, we sit as a family at our table with no tv or music.
7pm- We have another learning session
8pm- Bath time
8:30pm- snack, usually a fruit
9pm- Last drinks, brush our teeth
9:15-10pm- watch a short movie or cartoon
10pm-bedtime, we always read a book and pray.
My children are all on sugar free snacks, and most of their cereal contains a small amount. My children only get cereal on Mondays and Fridays, the rest of the day I cook.
I have a very structured routine for their learning time aswell, where we work on different things as a family. I usually work with Aiden since I have more patience, and DH works with Michael my oldest.
I just hope things get better in the long run, im getting wore out just thinking of the next day that I have to deal with.
BTW- DH is on 100% diss. from the army so he is at home with us 24/7. I also do not work right now because no one will hire me being pregnant, they see me as to much of a reliability. Hubby also lets me decide what I want to do as far as working or staying home, we both can stay home and live a very comfy life from what he gets from his diss. check.
Tabitha- Yup another boy...3 boys im so out numbered lol.
Im kind of scared to take him to a shrink, im worried they will pass it off as add or adhd, which I know can be the cause because my hubby has the adult adhd. Im just not wanting my son doped up on drugs, and I know there is a different way to handle it. My image on certain medications is that it only covers up the issue and doesn't resolve anything.
And Nope he didnt learn from getting the stitches lol he came home and he wanted dinner so I made him a plate, well my boys do not get a drink of milk until after dinner, they get half a cup of water, they have a tendancy to fill up on their drinks instead of eating, so he asked for milk, and I told him after he ate, and once again he not only bashes his head off the table, but now I have to clean the broken glass and food off my floor...uhg. Im just so dumbfounded at his behavior because as I said my 4 yr old was NEVER like that at all. I will eventually figure it out and work through it though.
LosingmymindinGA- We are very structured and follow a strict routine, I have always been like that, I think my OCD plays a role in being so structured.
Here is our daily routine, maybe you gals can think of something I can add/change to make things better.
7am- Boys are up, make beds together, use the potty, wash hands
7:30- Eat breakfast, after they eat they get their milk or juice
8am- we brush our teeth, get dressed, wash hands
8:30-9:30- Learning time, we do numbers, letters, reading and so forth
9:30- Snack time
10am- We are outside playing
12pm- Wash hands, have lunch
12:30pm- 30 min of cartoons
1pm- Nap time
3pm- wake up from our naps, and have a snack
3:30pm- Back outside to play, or to the park
5pm- We come in, wash hands and get ready for dinner, boys get to play inside until dinner is done.
6pm- We have dinner, we sit as a family at our table with no tv or music.
7pm- We have another learning session
8pm- Bath time
8:30pm- snack, usually a fruit
9pm- Last drinks, brush our teeth
9:15-10pm- watch a short movie or cartoon
10pm-bedtime, we always read a book and pray.
My children are all on sugar free snacks, and most of their cereal contains a small amount. My children only get cereal on Mondays and Fridays, the rest of the day I cook.
I have a very structured routine for their learning time aswell, where we work on different things as a family. I usually work with Aiden since I have more patience, and DH works with Michael my oldest.
I just hope things get better in the long run, im getting wore out just thinking of the next day that I have to deal with.
BTW- DH is on 100% diss. from the army so he is at home with us 24/7. I also do not work right now because no one will hire me being pregnant, they see me as to much of a reliability. Hubby also lets me decide what I want to do as far as working or staying home, we both can stay home and live a very comfy life from what he gets from his diss. check.
Oh, you poor thing! Most psychiatrists and pediatricians wont make a diagnosis until like age 6 so this may be a long road for you. You can have a neurological work-up done which will test several spectrums of development however, it is so tough at that age. He does appear to have some sort of personality disorder. Perhaps you could call a psychologist or a licensed mental health counselor and make an appointment if not for your son, perhaps they could give you some guidance. Kudos for acknowledging their is some issue with your son's behavior! Good luck!
Wow I can honestly say that I know what your going through:( Although my son has never cracked his head open throwing fits. Mine just doesnt listen, and doesnt care. He is my second son as well. Maybe there is something to do with his birth order??? IDK. When he was a toddeler in day care I never knew that he was a bully untill I came to pick him up one day and saw him push a little girl across the room. My aunt who did daycare for me told me that it was normal for him and that it was a mild day. I coulnt believe it!!! He than turned into what I discribe as a rebel...... If I tell him not to run into the street he does exacly the oppisit. One time he even egged the car on as if to say I dare you to hit me. Yup he is horrible. During his time in daycare he had to be rescued more than once for just jumping into the pool (deep end) He has no fear. He doesnt like hearing no or not getting his way.... We are a frequent visiter of the ER. My son has cracked his head once and needed stiches, Had stiches on his face 3 diffrent times, broke his foot once all befor he turned 3!! He also gets lots of bumps and bruses, the ER has acually called CPS to question me once when I brought him in because he fell down the basement stairs. He wasnt even one year old and climbed over the gate!! He doesnt like if you dont listen to him and with cry and throw a fit untill you pay attention. He likes to hide while im out shopping. I have had secerity help me look for him more than once because he took off and I coulnt find him, I was frantic!! I dread going anywhere olone with my boys, If their dad goes with to do anything they are perfect angles, go figuar:) Now that he is four he is starting to get a little better......he still had selective hearing, lol. He is playing alot better with other kids now but I still have to watch him carefully.
I guess I really dont have much advice except to tell you to hand in there. I have a feeling that once mine starts kindergarden he will get even better, but who knows. Now with my 3rd boy on the way he is starting to act like a baby again, cant go anywhere with out his blankey and wants to be carried every where:(
I am sorry to hear about the 22 stiches:( I hope maybe now he will stop with the head bashing...but if it were my son, he wouldnt have learened:( Good luck and I hope things get better.
Are you having another boy???
I guess I really dont have much advice except to tell you to hand in there. I have a feeling that once mine starts kindergarden he will get even better, but who knows. Now with my 3rd boy on the way he is starting to act like a baby again, cant go anywhere with out his blankey and wants to be carried every where:(
I am sorry to hear about the 22 stiches:( I hope maybe now he will stop with the head bashing...but if it were my son, he wouldnt have learened:( Good luck and I hope things get better.
Are you having another boy???
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