Older children at the birth

[cminamyer]

Has anyone had there older children present at the birth of the younger ones. If so how old was your child and how did it go?

[cminamyer]

Thanks all for the input...I think I'm going to let her watch some birth video's and take the class at our birthing center that tells a little bit about labor and see what she thinks about that. I will make sure someone is there to take care of her if something goes wrong or she just doesn't want to be there.

[steph_ut]

A friend of ours just had her 3 year old at her son's birth. They had a good family friend who stayed with the child so she could come and go as she wanted to. She doesn't seem "scarred" or "upset" in any way - quite the contrary! The same friend is also a midwife and said that her patients sometimes bring children to the hospital and that they often sleep through it!

[NicoleW09]

My aunt had her daughter present at the birth of their youngest. She had just turned 4 years old. She actually got up off of the chair she was sitting on to stand by the OB and watch. She was so excited and had a smile plastered all over her face. She begged them to let her watch, and I thought it was a bad idea, but she did really well! I would just make sure an adult is there to take them out if they get scared or don't want to be there.

[nicole8989]

I dont think i could.  I would be worried if it had any emotional effect on my child.  I dont even let my kids see me dress.  But if it is something you want then id just tall to the child and prepare them of what they could see. So they go in understanding.  You know the whole blood and plecenta.  Just so they dont get scared.  

[cminamyer]

My sister-in-law will be there but I also have a 2 1/2 year old who will be 3 when the baby is born and a 2 year old niece that would possible be there as well. From what I've learned from the birthing center so far they can all be there. I have to do the tour before I make the decision but the bed in the room is a queen and the tub is in a separate bathroom. We have a pop up beach tent/bed and portable DVD players so we will see. Also they allow eating during labor so we could all eat during labor...the girls could have snacks and watch movies, go outside to play...things like that.

[justice6920]

I have a 13 yr old and would definitely allow her to be present for the birth of my 3rd in March, she was 10 at the time my son was born and chose not to be present for his birth (lol crazy kid did NOT want to miss school).  5 is alot younger than 10 tho and I agree with Kimmery, maybe you can have someone there to help handle things with her incase she gets upset or fussy, but I would give it a try if she wants to!

[kimmery]

Do you have a familyl memberl you could put in charge of your little one during labour/birth? That way she can be a part of things but can also leave when she gets tired/bored/hungry/whathaveyou.

I envy you! I DO NOT handle pain well.... but we are going to prepare her for the fact that I probably will be in pain, but that I will be okay at the end of it all!

[cminamyer]

I think if my daughter was 10 it would be an easier decision, but my oldest is only 5. She says she wants to be there...I think if I get what I want and have a water birth at a birthing center I'll let her be there if she's up for it. I handle pain internally...I don't make noise or cry the only thing I do during labor is throw up and she's seen me do that about a 100 times this pregnancy so far so it won't bother her lol. I have let her watch some birthing video's and birthing shows but noting too graphic yet. I think if I can't let her watch a graphic birthing video online then I probably shouldn't let her go to a live birth lol.

[kimmery]

I havent' had older children present at a birth, but I am planning to have my 10 year old daughter present for this birth. She is insistent that she wants to be there! I know that she likely won't have the energy to last the whole birth so our doula will help with her, but I think it's a good idea to involve them if you can.

We havent' hired our doula yet as we are still interviewing (they match you) but the doulas I've spoken to say that parents are often surprised by how much children are able to contribute to the birth, as well as take in stride.

good luck!