Aa
Something that IRKS me!!
Ok, heres a little rant that I need to get out and I hope that alot of people get where I'm coming from…I was reading some questions and responses a little bit ago and something that really gets to me is that fact that there are alot of "judgmental" responses…people come on here to ask questions for advice and help, they dont come on here to be judged or told what to do….like if the girl is 15 and has a question about pregnancy or something it makes me mad to see people writing about how she's 15 and needs to learn how to be more responsible blah blah blah…yeah I agree they are young and they should know what they may get themselves into but at the same time, we are not their mom and we dont need to be telling them what to do when they are turning to complete strangers and asking for help because maybe they dont have a mom or maybe they cant confide in their mom….
Anyways, that was something that really got to me tonight so I'm done…hopefully I dont get a lot of hate responses but if I do, OH WELL! :)
Anyways, that was something that really got to me tonight so I'm done…hopefully I dont get a lot of hate responses but if I do, OH WELL! :)
Best Answer
You're right, it's not our place. But if we don't say anything, who will. And in the end, who pays the price for foolish mistakes and choices they make? Most cases they either refuse to use protection (because pregnancy doesn't happen to people like them) or they want a baby. Maybe it's BECAUSE it's ignored that teenage pregnancy as well as abortion are both on the rise.
The story is always the same as well--she's mature, she's in love, she's always wanted to be a mother, she is done partying and going on. The fact is, 9 times out of 10 a teenage mother will become a single parent and will end up on support of some kind.
The story is always the same as well--she's mature, she's in love, she's always wanted to be a mother, she is done partying and going on. The fact is, 9 times out of 10 a teenage mother will become a single parent and will end up on support of some kind.
Your right! I totally agree with you on this! Us girls come on here for help & some advice to ease our minds with what is going on. I see some people commenting back being so judge mental. With my raging harmones I feel like slapping um! LoL anyways we should all be here to support eachother! & if someone doesn't have something nice to say then they should just keep it to them self!
What are you saying? Is it wrong to be on some kind of support in this world? I'm a single mother, on SUPPORT…I have NO JOB!!! I live off Child Support…what's that say about me, that I should of been more careful than have my beautiful child?? Not everyone can be financially stable before they want kids…i dont think it's our place (people of the INTERNET) to judge the girls that do what they do, let them learn from themselves. Let their parents talk to them, kids will learn either way. I was raised where I couldnt talk to my parents so I wish I could of found something like this growing up. And honestly part of me thinks that it's the school systems fault teaching kids in 4th grade in my state what "sex education" is…not 8 year old child needs to know how babies are made and no 8 year old child needs to know what birth control and condoms are!
There is nothing wrong with ADVICE but most of the comments that are made when the younger girls ask for advice are JUDGMENTAL and I dont agree with it.
There is nothing wrong with ADVICE but most of the comments that are made when the younger girls ask for advice are JUDGMENTAL and I dont agree with it.
What Clysta is trying to say is that MOST teen pregnancies end up with the CHILD burdened with the ramifications of the parents actions. Statistics show that pregnant teens/parents DO end up on welfare at a staggering rate. Getting assistance when NECESSARY is one thing, but it costs all taxpayers and we should have a say in what is done with our tax dollars. It IS irresponsible to DELIBERATELY have children you cannot emotionally, physically or financially take care of. Accidents happen, that's one thing. People lose their jobs, that's another. But to deliberately have a child KNOWING you will go on welfare and make the rest of the hard working citizens pay for that child, well, in MY opinion (and you don't have to agree), it's no better than stealing. As I said situations that are NOT PREVENTABLE (pregnancy on the pill, condom broke, job lost, one parent skipped out etc) are totally different. Of course there are always exceptions to the norm. There are some absolutely WONDERFUL teen parents, some who are better than "adult" parents, out there, but statistically speaking they are few and far between.
Another point I think she is trying to convey is that many of these teens aren't given "the talk" , they aren't encouraged to protect themselves. They go on wrong information they learned from their peers rather than a knowledgeable source. As responsible adults, it is our place to help protect our youth.
NOW, I DO wholeheartedly agree that many of the responses are very judgmental and could be presented in a far less accusatory manner. I think many of us should really think about how we are conveying our messages before we post them, it's so easy for things to be misconstrued on the internet. Even well intentioned posters don't always present their advice in a constructive manner.
Another point I think she is trying to convey is that many of these teens aren't given "the talk" , they aren't encouraged to protect themselves. They go on wrong information they learned from their peers rather than a knowledgeable source. As responsible adults, it is our place to help protect our youth.
NOW, I DO wholeheartedly agree that many of the responses are very judgmental and could be presented in a far less accusatory manner. I think many of us should really think about how we are conveying our messages before we post them, it's so easy for things to be misconstrued on the internet. Even well intentioned posters don't always present their advice in a constructive manner.
Ppl receive state help for many mane reasons and bcoz they do that means in sum ppls opinion that they don't deserve 2 have a baby. And aint they ppl lucky that it aint down 2 just 1 person (LosingMyMindInGA) where the tax dollar goes!! And as for the point she made its no better than stealing well that's just rubbish lol
Ladies,
this is obviously an emotional topic and there's no right or wrong answer.
No one should come here and feel judged, but on the other hand you are asking for a public opinion and there's the chance (a good chance) that you might answers you don't like, so you run that risk.
Yes, we should be supportive, but we should also be honest and sugar-coating things doesn't help anyone.
No, government support is not evil or wrong, but some people misuse it, I think that was the point of two of the ladies above.
It's no one's right to say who does or does not deserve a baby, but as a mother of 2 and 1 on the way, if my daughter ever went to an online website asking about how to get pregnant at age 15 and I wasn't aware, I sure as hell hope that someone would set her straight.
Anyway, this is a topic best discussed calmly and without flinging mud, so please don't take anyone's comments personally or think that anyone is attacking anyone else, or the mods will step in.
Best wishes to all today,
Co-CL Ashelen
this is obviously an emotional topic and there's no right or wrong answer.
No one should come here and feel judged, but on the other hand you are asking for a public opinion and there's the chance (a good chance) that you might answers you don't like, so you run that risk.
Yes, we should be supportive, but we should also be honest and sugar-coating things doesn't help anyone.
No, government support is not evil or wrong, but some people misuse it, I think that was the point of two of the ladies above.
It's no one's right to say who does or does not deserve a baby, but as a mother of 2 and 1 on the way, if my daughter ever went to an online website asking about how to get pregnant at age 15 and I wasn't aware, I sure as hell hope that someone would set her straight.
Anyway, this is a topic best discussed calmly and without flinging mud, so please don't take anyone's comments personally or think that anyone is attacking anyone else, or the mods will step in.
Best wishes to all today,
Co-CL Ashelen
I agree that everyone should try to post their responses in an empathetic sensitive way - hopefully communicating respect and an non-judgmental attitude towards the individual.
I think that people should think about the mind set of a teenager though. We have all been there. You think very differently from an adult even when you are mature. Its a psychological fact that most teenagers see themselves as invisible, that they are more impulsive, and often are not fully aware of the consequences or outcomes of some actions... It may feel judgmental but perhaps it is a reality check for some when people do talk to them about protection, waiting until they are older, etc... There are ways to do these things without passing judgment so there is nothing wrong with bringing it up..
I think everyone can think of a boy they were so in love with in high school and were going to be with for the rest of their life.... Everyone knows that things change though and most people are not still with the first serious relationship they had in high school (if you are, you dont need to post about it because it happens but thats why I most)..
I think even putting the social assistance, tax payer dollars debate aside. It is still important to talk about the reality of pregnancy, sex, protection with youth who post on here for many reasons. They are coming here for advice most likely because they are not comfortable getting it from other sources.. Birth control, sex, and pregnancy talks with your parents can be embarassing..
I think the point that the original poster brought up that is important is that responses should be respectful and non-judgmental. The part I dont agree with is that it is not our place to talk to them about responsibility, being too young, protection etc....
There are a lot of statistics around teen pregnancy that should be kept in mind when reading about a 13, or 15 year old wanting to try for a baby....
#1. Youth parents are less likely to eat a proper diet
#2. Youth parents are more likely to have a baby with a low birth weight
#3. Youth parents are more likely to smoke while pregnant
#4. Youth parents are more likely to live to in poverty and be homeless
#4. Youth parents are more likely to be single parents.
I am not saying there is anything wrong with you if you are in these situations... There is implications for the child in all of them. There is nothing wrong with single moms and people can find themselves homeless for a variety of reasons but I imagine most youth when they are thinking about having a baby with their boyfriend, they most likely are not imagining the stress of parenthood, let alone doing it alone.... etc..
This post has gotten way too long and trailed off a bit. The point is the messages people are given are right, it is the way they are sometimes worded that is wrong.. So be mindful of how you present your thoughts.
I think that people should think about the mind set of a teenager though. We have all been there. You think very differently from an adult even when you are mature. Its a psychological fact that most teenagers see themselves as invisible, that they are more impulsive, and often are not fully aware of the consequences or outcomes of some actions... It may feel judgmental but perhaps it is a reality check for some when people do talk to them about protection, waiting until they are older, etc... There are ways to do these things without passing judgment so there is nothing wrong with bringing it up..
I think everyone can think of a boy they were so in love with in high school and were going to be with for the rest of their life.... Everyone knows that things change though and most people are not still with the first serious relationship they had in high school (if you are, you dont need to post about it because it happens but thats why I most)..
I think even putting the social assistance, tax payer dollars debate aside. It is still important to talk about the reality of pregnancy, sex, protection with youth who post on here for many reasons. They are coming here for advice most likely because they are not comfortable getting it from other sources.. Birth control, sex, and pregnancy talks with your parents can be embarassing..
I think the point that the original poster brought up that is important is that responses should be respectful and non-judgmental. The part I dont agree with is that it is not our place to talk to them about responsibility, being too young, protection etc....
There are a lot of statistics around teen pregnancy that should be kept in mind when reading about a 13, or 15 year old wanting to try for a baby....
#1. Youth parents are less likely to eat a proper diet
#2. Youth parents are more likely to have a baby with a low birth weight
#3. Youth parents are more likely to smoke while pregnant
#4. Youth parents are more likely to live to in poverty and be homeless
#4. Youth parents are more likely to be single parents.
I am not saying there is anything wrong with you if you are in these situations... There is implications for the child in all of them. There is nothing wrong with single moms and people can find themselves homeless for a variety of reasons but I imagine most youth when they are thinking about having a baby with their boyfriend, they most likely are not imagining the stress of parenthood, let alone doing it alone.... etc..
This post has gotten way too long and trailed off a bit. The point is the messages people are given are right, it is the way they are sometimes worded that is wrong.. So be mindful of how you present your thoughts.
Also something to keep in mind is that Medhelp's stance on teen pregnancy is to offer support for pregnant teens, but to dissuade teen girls from planning a pregnancy. We can not provide them with the tools or knowledge to help them get pregnant. If they aren't already pregnant, it's nice to inform them of birth control options, as some girls, and even boys, don't know every way to prevent pregnancy.
The point isn't to bash them and be judgemental, the point is that teen pregnancy is preventable, and they should have all of the knowledge to do so.
My MIL and my mother were both teen moms, and they did the best that they could. A lot of times, my grandparents were burdened with the responsibility to make sure that we had clothes and food, because my parents didn't have the money.
Most teenager don't have jobs and are going to school full time, and think that their parents will continue to provide for them and their child. I can't tell you how many times I've seen girls on here asking for pregnancy tips, and will say that their parents will support them. IMO, it's not their parent's place to provide for their child. I don't think they realize how hard it is to raise a child in this economy. They don't realize how expensive diapers are, or how frequently you have to buy them. When it comes to sex ed and parenting, most of these girls are naive.
If my daughter were on here and asked a question on how to get pregnant at 13-17, I would hope and pray that one of the women on here would act in my place, and discourage her from trying. I would hope that she would get a reality check and learn a thing or two. I know some parents don't care, but I care, and I don't want that for my daughter. My husband and I were 21 when we had Lexi, and she's now 8 months old, and we make it work, but at 17-18...no, we would have been struggling and our parents would have had to be the sole providers for her until we got on our feet. And we both feel that it's our responsibility to be the sole providers for our family. We do get WIC and medicaid for Lexi, but we just BARELY meet the maximum requirements the state puts forth. But, I don't see anything wrong with participating in those programs, it's when people lie and abuse the system that annoy me.
The point isn't to bash them and be judgemental, the point is that teen pregnancy is preventable, and they should have all of the knowledge to do so.
My MIL and my mother were both teen moms, and they did the best that they could. A lot of times, my grandparents were burdened with the responsibility to make sure that we had clothes and food, because my parents didn't have the money.
Most teenager don't have jobs and are going to school full time, and think that their parents will continue to provide for them and their child. I can't tell you how many times I've seen girls on here asking for pregnancy tips, and will say that their parents will support them. IMO, it's not their parent's place to provide for their child. I don't think they realize how hard it is to raise a child in this economy. They don't realize how expensive diapers are, or how frequently you have to buy them. When it comes to sex ed and parenting, most of these girls are naive.
If my daughter were on here and asked a question on how to get pregnant at 13-17, I would hope and pray that one of the women on here would act in my place, and discourage her from trying. I would hope that she would get a reality check and learn a thing or two. I know some parents don't care, but I care, and I don't want that for my daughter. My husband and I were 21 when we had Lexi, and she's now 8 months old, and we make it work, but at 17-18...no, we would have been struggling and our parents would have had to be the sole providers for her until we got on our feet. And we both feel that it's our responsibility to be the sole providers for our family. We do get WIC and medicaid for Lexi, but we just BARELY meet the maximum requirements the state puts forth. But, I don't see anything wrong with participating in those programs, it's when people lie and abuse the system that annoy me.
I totally agree with Clysta. Yes, people come on here looking for support, but in no way will I ever encourage or support teen pregnancy. I encourage teens to be more responsible, to stay in school, and prepare for their future. Just because a young woman wants a child, does not mean she should have one right away. I love children and I want children, so does that mean I should get pregnant right now? No way. I am still in school with a couple semesters left before I get my bachelor's degree, I am not married yet, and I don't have the finances to have a family. It is cruel to the baby if I were to just follow my own selfish wants to have a child when I can't provide for them adequately.
Many teens feel as if pregnancy will never happen to them and they also typically don't have the correct information. I get questions sent to me all the time about how pregnancy occurs and if you can get pregnant from doing this or that. I give them the information and also encourage them to look to their future. I would never encourage a teen to rush into parenthood when they are only a child themself. I do tell it like it is, because many times, they need to hear it and it's about the only way to get it across to them that this is serious and they really need to think about their actions. The actions that they do now will affect them in the future and can change their lives completely. Teen pregnancy is on the rise and if the parents aren't doing anything, then someone else needs to step in to help. As others have said, I would hope someone would do that for my future children, to tell them about sex and how to protect themself, if they won't listen to me about it.
I have watched teen pregnancy occur many times around me, with female cousins and classmates. All of them struggled a lot to try and provide for their children and it was a huge reality check when they realized that it isn't as easy as it looked before. Most teens have this rose colored glasses view of motherhood and it's not like that. You get tired, exhausted and still have to take care of a baby. It's no longer just about you, your life is now about your child and I hope more teens realize that.
Many teens feel as if pregnancy will never happen to them and they also typically don't have the correct information. I get questions sent to me all the time about how pregnancy occurs and if you can get pregnant from doing this or that. I give them the information and also encourage them to look to their future. I would never encourage a teen to rush into parenthood when they are only a child themself. I do tell it like it is, because many times, they need to hear it and it's about the only way to get it across to them that this is serious and they really need to think about their actions. The actions that they do now will affect them in the future and can change their lives completely. Teen pregnancy is on the rise and if the parents aren't doing anything, then someone else needs to step in to help. As others have said, I would hope someone would do that for my future children, to tell them about sex and how to protect themself, if they won't listen to me about it.
I have watched teen pregnancy occur many times around me, with female cousins and classmates. All of them struggled a lot to try and provide for their children and it was a huge reality check when they realized that it isn't as easy as it looked before. Most teens have this rose colored glasses view of motherhood and it's not like that. You get tired, exhausted and still have to take care of a baby. It's no longer just about you, your life is now about your child and I hope more teens realize that.
I agree that the judgemental responses are sometimes too harsh...But, after being on this site for years, I have come to realize, its going to happen, so I just try to ignore it, and not let it get to me...
But, what does GET TO ME, is the people who point blame at others or judge, and say well because they are young, or whatever, are going to have to get government help, and blah, blah, blah...but, yet, you dont hear them mentioning that they too are receiving assistance from the government...I know there are plenty of people that are mid 20's hell even mid 30's who receive some kind of benefits from the government...it just bothers me sorry
But, what does GET TO ME, is the people who point blame at others or judge, and say well because they are young, or whatever, are going to have to get government help, and blah, blah, blah...but, yet, you dont hear them mentioning that they too are receiving assistance from the government...I know there are plenty of people that are mid 20's hell even mid 30's who receive some kind of benefits from the government...it just bothers me sorry
IN REPONSE TO A FEW, though right now I just skimmed through.
I WAS NEVER AGAIN I WILL SAY IT AGAIN NEVER…DO I NEED TO SAY IT ONE MORE TIME……..OK NEVER, GIVEN THE TALK BY MY PARENTS NOR DID I HAVE "SEX EDUCATION" IN SCHOOL BECAUSE I WENT TO A PRIVATE SCHOOL AND THEY DIDNT OFFER IT AND I HAD MY ****FIRST**** CHILD WHEN I WAS 22…I WAS SEXUALLY ACTIVE AT THE AGE OF 15 AND KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS…IT WAS MY CHOICE AND MINE ONLY…NO ONE SHOULD JUDGE A YOUNG GIRLS CHOICES BECAUSE AT THIS DAY AND AGE, GIRLS WHO ARE SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND HAVING SEX ****KNOW**** THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR ACTIONS SO WHY "SHOVE" IT IN THEIR FACE????????
JUST TIRED OF SEEING THE RESPONSES OF "YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT HAVING SEX UNPROTECTED IS WRONG BLAH BLAH BLAH!"
THE ONLY CHILD I HAVE IS MY OWN, AND IN SAYING THAT I WILL NOT JUDGE NO "CHILD" ON HERE WHO HAS COME TO **ME** FOR ADVICE ON WHAT TO DO…THEY ARE SCARED AND CANT TALK TO THEIR PARENTS BECAUSE UM WHO REMEMBERS BEING A CHILD?? IT'S SCARY TO TELL YOUR PARENTS ABOUT YOUR "ACTIVITIES" AND MOST LIKELY THEY WILL GROUND YOU, WHICH LEADS TO REBELLION AND THEN THAT CHILD WILL WANT TO DO IT EVEN MORE AND THEN WHAT, THE CONSEQUENCES COULD BE MORE HARMFUL THAN BEFORE….
SO I THINK AS STRANGERS WE SHOULD BE MORE SYMPATHETIC AND BE MORE SENSITIVE WHEN ANSWERING THEIR QUESTIONS AND NOT TRY TO "TELL" THEM WHAT TO DO…THAT'S NOT GOING TO MAKE ANYTHING BETTER…LIKE I SAID I'M SURE THAT THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING WHEN THEY ARE DOING IT AND ARE YOUNG SO THEY DONT KNOW WHAT CHANGES ARE SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN TO THEIR BODY SO THAT'S WHY THEY ASK….
IF ALL ANSWERS WERE HANDED TO US, ****LIFE LESSONS WILL NEVER BE LEARNED****
AND I'M SORRY IF YOU TAX PAYERS FEEL IT'S A BURDEN TO HELP THOSE IN NEED…I'M SURE THAT THE ONES WHO AREN'T ON WELFARE NEED TO HAVE A CLUE ON WHAT IT IS TO STRUGGLE AND IF THEY DID I'M SURE THEY WOULD BE USING THE SYSTEM TOO!!!
THE ECONOMY IS ABOUT TO GO BACK INTO RECESSION…SO I WILL GLADLY USE THE HELP I CAN GET…I DONT DO DRUGS AND I AM A SINGLE, STAY AT HOME MOM, AND COLLEGE STUDENT...
THAT IS ALL...
I WAS NEVER AGAIN I WILL SAY IT AGAIN NEVER…DO I NEED TO SAY IT ONE MORE TIME……..OK NEVER, GIVEN THE TALK BY MY PARENTS NOR DID I HAVE "SEX EDUCATION" IN SCHOOL BECAUSE I WENT TO A PRIVATE SCHOOL AND THEY DIDNT OFFER IT AND I HAD MY ****FIRST**** CHILD WHEN I WAS 22…I WAS SEXUALLY ACTIVE AT THE AGE OF 15 AND KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS…IT WAS MY CHOICE AND MINE ONLY…NO ONE SHOULD JUDGE A YOUNG GIRLS CHOICES BECAUSE AT THIS DAY AND AGE, GIRLS WHO ARE SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND HAVING SEX ****KNOW**** THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR ACTIONS SO WHY "SHOVE" IT IN THEIR FACE????????
JUST TIRED OF SEEING THE RESPONSES OF "YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT HAVING SEX UNPROTECTED IS WRONG BLAH BLAH BLAH!"
THE ONLY CHILD I HAVE IS MY OWN, AND IN SAYING THAT I WILL NOT JUDGE NO "CHILD" ON HERE WHO HAS COME TO **ME** FOR ADVICE ON WHAT TO DO…THEY ARE SCARED AND CANT TALK TO THEIR PARENTS BECAUSE UM WHO REMEMBERS BEING A CHILD?? IT'S SCARY TO TELL YOUR PARENTS ABOUT YOUR "ACTIVITIES" AND MOST LIKELY THEY WILL GROUND YOU, WHICH LEADS TO REBELLION AND THEN THAT CHILD WILL WANT TO DO IT EVEN MORE AND THEN WHAT, THE CONSEQUENCES COULD BE MORE HARMFUL THAN BEFORE….
SO I THINK AS STRANGERS WE SHOULD BE MORE SYMPATHETIC AND BE MORE SENSITIVE WHEN ANSWERING THEIR QUESTIONS AND NOT TRY TO "TELL" THEM WHAT TO DO…THAT'S NOT GOING TO MAKE ANYTHING BETTER…LIKE I SAID I'M SURE THAT THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING WHEN THEY ARE DOING IT AND ARE YOUNG SO THEY DONT KNOW WHAT CHANGES ARE SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN TO THEIR BODY SO THAT'S WHY THEY ASK….
IF ALL ANSWERS WERE HANDED TO US, ****LIFE LESSONS WILL NEVER BE LEARNED****
AND I'M SORRY IF YOU TAX PAYERS FEEL IT'S A BURDEN TO HELP THOSE IN NEED…I'M SURE THAT THE ONES WHO AREN'T ON WELFARE NEED TO HAVE A CLUE ON WHAT IT IS TO STRUGGLE AND IF THEY DID I'M SURE THEY WOULD BE USING THE SYSTEM TOO!!!
THE ECONOMY IS ABOUT TO GO BACK INTO RECESSION…SO I WILL GLADLY USE THE HELP I CAN GET…I DONT DO DRUGS AND I AM A SINGLE, STAY AT HOME MOM, AND COLLEGE STUDENT...
THAT IS ALL...
I dont know what community you read that girl's at the age of 13-17 is asking HOW to get pregnant, because I've NEVER seen that on this community…Just saying…
And another thing, like I said I DONT HAVE A JOB…I'm a single stay at home mom, and now going to college…..I live off child support….and I have a child…..I havent worked all the time since my daughter was born…
And another thing, like I said I DONT HAVE A JOB…I'm a single stay at home mom, and now going to college…..I live off child support….and I have a child…..I havent worked all the time since my daughter was born…
Did you read my response? I was not judging anyone who receives assistance...What I did say, is I cant stand when people come on here mouthing that because these girls are young and pregnant, will have to live off the system, when in fact the one who is judging them, are more than likely living on the system too....
I had my first child at 19 and now have 6 kids...I, personally do not receive any kind of assistance at all....My husband works full time and goes to school as well...we just manage...But, that is just my situation...I dont judge anyone who makes life choices...you live and learn, and no matter what, when the day is done, people are going to do whatever they want anyways...so I have learned to just keep my mouth shut and stay out of it.
My husband and I do know a couple who had their first child at 15, got married and now they are 37? and still married and very VERY happy...
I had my first child at 19 and now have 6 kids...I, personally do not receive any kind of assistance at all....My husband works full time and goes to school as well...we just manage...But, that is just my situation...I dont judge anyone who makes life choices...you live and learn, and no matter what, when the day is done, people are going to do whatever they want anyways...so I have learned to just keep my mouth shut and stay out of it.
My husband and I do know a couple who had their first child at 15, got married and now they are 37? and still married and very VERY happy...
Yes I did read your response…I'm sure alot of judgment comments comes from those who are on the system and probably are young parents….maybe its a comment of shame…
I agree, people will do whatever they want. And I know for fact even to this day if I'm told I'm not alowed to do something I will WANT to do it even more…it's only natural :)
I agree, people will do whatever they want. And I know for fact even to this day if I'm told I'm not alowed to do something I will WANT to do it even more…it's only natural :)
Using all caps lock doesn't help you get your point across and only makes it look like you are losing control and grasping at straws. I am the CL of the teen health community and get numerous questions about pregnancy and how everything works, so you are wrong about teens knowing what they are getting themselves into. I educate them about birth control, encourage them to stay in school, and tell them about the consequences that can happen from their actions because many think it "won't happen to them" or "can't happen to them". I see this all the time and do my best to help prevent teens from losing out on experiences because of a poor decision now. I've seen a lot of teens realize that it's not so easy to have a baby and change their thought patterns to become more responsible and start protecting themselves and preparing for their future. It's great to see!
Also, you can learn life lessons from other people and not from personal experience. I watched my 2 older female cousins go through teen pregnancy and I watched them struggle and miss out on so much in life. I promised myself to never end up in their shoes and never did. I graduated high school with honors and went on to a great university. Both of my cousins struggled to finish high school, one never went to college, the other is still struggling to just get her AA. I am almost done with my Bachelor's degree, traveled all over, experiences life, am engaged, and going to get married next summer. It's a far difference then what my cousins went through and I am glad I can learn that from just watching them and not living it. It was a great life lesson for me to learn from afar.
I believe strongly in responsibility and being able to provide for yourself without asking for handouts. I urge teens to think about the consequences of their actions not only on their own lives, but the lives of everyone around them. Your choices/actions never just affect you, because you don't live in this world alone by yourself. There are millions of other people around you. It's a mature thing to do in thinking about others and not only about yourself. If someone says not to do something, then it would be a very good idea to really think about why they said that and if they are right. I take pride in the fact that I have never had to be on any kind of assistance and worked hard to get to where I am today. It is frustrating to watch as people take from the government programs and abuse the system. And we wonder why we are having economic problems? People are ruining what we had and we're spiraling downward.
Also, you can learn life lessons from other people and not from personal experience. I watched my 2 older female cousins go through teen pregnancy and I watched them struggle and miss out on so much in life. I promised myself to never end up in their shoes and never did. I graduated high school with honors and went on to a great university. Both of my cousins struggled to finish high school, one never went to college, the other is still struggling to just get her AA. I am almost done with my Bachelor's degree, traveled all over, experiences life, am engaged, and going to get married next summer. It's a far difference then what my cousins went through and I am glad I can learn that from just watching them and not living it. It was a great life lesson for me to learn from afar.
I believe strongly in responsibility and being able to provide for yourself without asking for handouts. I urge teens to think about the consequences of their actions not only on their own lives, but the lives of everyone around them. Your choices/actions never just affect you, because you don't live in this world alone by yourself. There are millions of other people around you. It's a mature thing to do in thinking about others and not only about yourself. If someone says not to do something, then it would be a very good idea to really think about why they said that and if they are right. I take pride in the fact that I have never had to be on any kind of assistance and worked hard to get to where I am today. It is frustrating to watch as people take from the government programs and abuse the system. And we wonder why we are having economic problems? People are ruining what we had and we're spiraling downward.
I wasnt talking in CAPS as a way of yelling…how'd I know that at least one person would say something about it like it was a big deal…..hmmm
Also….I was talking about learning experiences by HEARING them not SEEING them…so what you learned from your cousins is a different way of learning than what they are coming here to ask for help…I'm just saying on judgmental issues….people need to be nicer…do you sit there and judge the girls that ask "how things work" when you talk to them about sex…..that's what I'm talking about
And another thing, SORRY THAT I BEING ON THE SYSTEM IS HURTING THE ECONOMY….the economy isnt hurt by the people on the system technically is the stupid *** president we now have that put us in the recession
I think of myself when I go and ask for assistance and feel no shame in doing it. Not everyone can make it on their own, not everyone is rich and can go to college and earn a degree…maybe you should watch what you say before you offend some people on here…
I think of myself when I go and ask for assistance and feel no shame in doing it. Not everyone can make it on their own, not everyone is rich and can go to college and earn a degree…maybe you should watch what you say before you offend some people on here…
Alright ladies perhaps it's time to move on from this subject. It's clear that feelings are being hurt and nothing will be accomplished if tempers are high.
Perhaps we can move on to something more neutral, like the weather?
Remember, the Mods will not allow a post to become too provoking or rude or contentious, so if you must continue this discussion, everyone needs to calm down.
Hope you all have a great day,
Co-Community leader Ashelen.
Perhaps we can move on to something more neutral, like the weather?
Remember, the Mods will not allow a post to become too provoking or rude or contentious, so if you must continue this discussion, everyone needs to calm down.
Hope you all have a great day,
Co-Community leader Ashelen.
I'm quite calm….It may sound like I'm not but the internet misinterprets everything that we put out there..I'm just stating opinion and point…
I'm not offended and not defensive…just responsive.
And I'd rather not talk about weather considering where I live you might as well just fry an egg outside on the ground from the heat…. :)
I'm not offended and not defensive…just responsive.
And I'd rather not talk about weather considering where I live you might as well just fry an egg outside on the ground from the heat…. :)
Ha! I can completely sympathize...here in Tallahassee it's 94*(with a heat index of 102*) and it feels like FALL compared to how hot it's been recently!
I'm glad to hear you're not upset, I prefer not to take sides in an argument and I never like any of our ladies getting their feelings hurt.
This IS an emotional topic and one that most of us are keenly aware of and involved in as parents of future teenagers. There's no right or wrong approach to it, but sympathy and empathy often go a long way towards changing minds, I've found.
I'm glad to hear you're not upset, I prefer not to take sides in an argument and I never like any of our ladies getting their feelings hurt.
This IS an emotional topic and one that most of us are keenly aware of and involved in as parents of future teenagers. There's no right or wrong approach to it, but sympathy and empathy often go a long way towards changing minds, I've found.
It doesn't matter if a person hears or sees something, they can still learn from what is said or seen. I've had it happen a number of times, by what I say to a teen that they have a realization that having a baby right now is not a good idea for them and they wait to have a family. I like to give them a reality check and talk about the financial strain, emotional strain, and relationship strain that a baby puts on someone. It's not easy and most teen parents don't finish school, end up single parents, and need help just to make it by. That's not a life that anyone should strive for and I hope more people would try to prevent it from happening. Teen pregnancy is not ok.
Also, I earned myself a scholarship in order to go and stay in college. I am not rich by any means, but I worked my butt off to get to where I am today. I do believe that anyone can do this and I've seen many people from my low income neighborhood make something of themselves. Anyone can make it on their own, if they prioritize their life. I refused to just be a statistic and not doing anything with my life, so I studied hard, did well in school, did not date often, worked and saved up as much money as I could, and so on so I could better my own life. I love children, but I can't afford a child right now, so I will wait to have children. It would be cruel and selfish of me to get pregnant right now when I can't adequately provide for him or her and would put myself into a situation where I would struggle. I don't want to do that and I would hope that no one would, so it's best to be responsible and protect against pregnancy. After I graduate, am married, and am financially ready, then I would bring a baby into this world, but I would never plan on doing so prior to that. It would be a foolish thing to do.
Also, I earned myself a scholarship in order to go and stay in college. I am not rich by any means, but I worked my butt off to get to where I am today. I do believe that anyone can do this and I've seen many people from my low income neighborhood make something of themselves. Anyone can make it on their own, if they prioritize their life. I refused to just be a statistic and not doing anything with my life, so I studied hard, did well in school, did not date often, worked and saved up as much money as I could, and so on so I could better my own life. I love children, but I can't afford a child right now, so I will wait to have children. It would be cruel and selfish of me to get pregnant right now when I can't adequately provide for him or her and would put myself into a situation where I would struggle. I don't want to do that and I would hope that no one would, so it's best to be responsible and protect against pregnancy. After I graduate, am married, and am financially ready, then I would bring a baby into this world, but I would never plan on doing so prior to that. It would be a foolish thing to do.
Lol, well I earned a pell grant in order to go to school…guess that's all I can do considering I graduated 7 years ago from High School and was a B+ student, so scholarships weren't in mind. Plus I went to a private school from the age of 6 till 16…so like I said I was secluded as a child, the only child hood memories I carry are between 4 yellow walls, tip toe to the kitchen to get a drink so you dont wake up the sleeping giant and get in trouble….gaze out a window and watch the neighborhood children play together and make friends. Going to public school for only 2 years of my high school life and felt like an idiot with the new slangs and jokes going around and not knowing a single thing…there are a few things that people dont know about anyone else….we only know what they ask questions about so maybe just maybe we should be a little more sensitive to answering innocent little questions about what's going on with their bodies…
I'm not saying that what you do is wrong or judgmental…you are advising them that it will be hard at this time to have a child yes…but the girls on here are asking how will they know they are pregnant…they arent asking how to have sex…they are already doing it obviously…so telling them what to do and advising them what their choices are, are TWO different things
I'm not saying that what you do is wrong or judgmental…you are advising them that it will be hard at this time to have a child yes…but the girls on here are asking how will they know they are pregnant…they arent asking how to have sex…they are already doing it obviously…so telling them what to do and advising them what their choices are, are TWO different things
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In response to Clysta.
When I was 16 I got pregnant with my son.(yes I was mature, no I did not party, and more then anything I wanted a family). I also had been out on my own for more then a year, held down a full time job, and went to school. I got married to my sons father shortly after my son was born. I am now 22, still with the father, army wife, pregnant again, I do not get any kind of state help and would not go back and change a thing. I was judged a lot while pregnant and I agree I didn't make the best choices but I still turned out ok. I know that's not the case for everyone but Sometimes you have to remember being young doesn't always mean they don't know what they are doing or getting into. Choices (bad and good) make us the people we are.